Peanut Butter Banana Sandwiches
by KrysSaiyan
Summary: When tragedy strikes Stephanie, Sportacus comes to the rescue. But in taking on this responsibility, it may be more than he can handle, and he'll need the help of the least likely person. SportaRobbie fluff, with platonic SportaSteph and RobbieSteph.
1. There's No Use In Crying

**Chapter 1: There's No Use In Crying**

"… What?" she whispered, trembling but trying to smile through it. It was a joke. She should be laughing, because it was a joke.

It couldn't be real.

"It'll be okay kiddo. We'll take care of you."

She stared dully at the police officer in front of her, who was trying in vain to get her to take a cup of hot chocolate.

Dead.

They were gone. Parents, uncle, all gone. It didn't matter why. She dully remembered something… something on the edge of her memory, maybe about a trip, a grown-ups-only trip, but it skittered away under the force of her tears.

There was nowhere else to go. They wouldn't let her return to LazyTown. She sobbed in between sobbing for her family, when she realized she would never be able to return to that place again. There was no reason to, logically. She wasn't going to be sent to stay with her uncle over the summer anymore.

There was no one who could save her from this.

* * *

"You're Stephanie?" 

She nodded slowly, looking up at the woman and her husband that would be her foster parents until someone adopted her. She felt slightly ill, dizzy, like she would fall over at any second. But she stayed on her feet.

'We're really glad you're here," the woman said sweetly, and bent over and picked up one of Stephanie's suitcases.

The man and woman smiled at her, and she tried to smile back out of politeness. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe everything would be alright.

Of course, it wasn't. It never would be. Her family was dead, she was alone, and…

* * *

"Didn't you finish the dishes yet?" 

Stephanie cringed, though she knew not to by now.

"The water in the sink was too hot, so I was letting it cool down a little before I started," she answered quietly, and she shivered involuntarily and scooted away as they stalked past her and to the sink. They glanced at it and said, "It looks fine to me."

Against her will, the words spilled out of her mouth.

"It looks like that, but I checked it just a second ago and it was still so hot and-"

Abruptly, she was grabbed and her hands arms were forced elbow-deep into the water.

The still scalding hot water.

She screamed and was cuffed in the back of the head for it.

"Who do you think you are! We took you in out of the goodness of our hearts, and give you everything you could want and you won't even do a simple thing like washing dishes when I asked you!"

"Please stop, please it hurts!" She was trying to struggle, trying to get her hands out of the scalding water. They were going numb, and tears ran down her face. She received and hard yank on her bubblegum pink hair before she was released and allowed to remove her arms. They walked away, but paused in the doorway.

"You'll never get adopted if you keep that attitude. It's no wonder you're all alone."

Stephanie turned on the cold water tap and tried to put her arms under the water, silently. The water only made her arms sting more ferociously, but she tried anyway. A tiny voice sneaked past her lips as she looked at her reddened arms.

"There is always a way… ya gotta believe you can make it…"

She looked at the steaming pile of dishes and shifted nervously. There wasn't any way she could do those without dropping something from the sensitive sting now present on her hands and arms. She blinked back more tears, carefully using a rag to wipe the salty trails on her face away.

Later that night she lay in her bed, trying in vain to keep her arms from hurting in any position she was in. She started crying silently, despite her best efforts not to. She wanted her mom and dad. She wanted her uncle. Ms. Busybody, Trixie, Pixel, Ziggy… Sportacus. She'd even take Robbie Rotten at this point.

She sniffled and looked out of her window at the moon hanging in the sky and tried to focus on its quiet light rather than the hurts of her body. She murmured to herself in a sing-song voice.

"There's no use in crying… you gotta keep trying…"

* * *

Sportacus' crystal had been ominously quiet all day. Almost all through the autumn and winter, into spring. Save for the occasional disruption from the kids of Lazy Town and Robbie Rotten's half-hearted attempts at kicking him out (he had fallen into a sulk when he lost the position for new mayor to Ms. Busybody), the days were long. And they were boring. 

He found himself wishing more and more for summer.

But as summer rolled around, he began to realize. Without an uncle to stay with, the little pink girl would not come back. Without parents to send her there, she would be… where would she be? As the first week of summer drew to a close, he made a decision. It had been an impulse, a loophole, but he was taking it. The one who had called him to the town in the first place was no longer there. Technically, he was no longer bound to protect the little town unless the one who called him there was in that place and requested it.

She had never asked him to look after it forever.

He let Ziggy in on what he was doing, so that the other children wouldn't panic, and because he trusted Ziggy with his secrets more than anyone else.

And with that, he steered his air ship away from the town.

There was a little mop of pink hair that needed to be found.

* * *

Stephanie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear again as she gardened outside. The sun hurt her burn, which luckily wasn't disfiguring in any way, but still hurt. But it was one of her chores to make sure the garden was nice looking. 

"There you are!"

She startled and shrank into herself before turning to look over her shoulder.

It was like a dream.

There he was, standing with fists on hips and grinning under that ridiculous mustache. If she could have seen his hair under the hat, she was sure it would have been reflecting the sunlight that hurt her arms, like… like Sportacus. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess. He pouted.

You're not gonna say hi to me?"

She cried out in a wordless expression of joy and sorrow, leapt up, and ran straight into his arms and clung to him like he was the last thing in the world. He laughed lightly and spun her around once, hugging her fiercely. She winced as he brushed against her arms and he noticed.

"Stephanie? Are you okay?" he said, concerned. She looked up at him with large sad eyes and he instantly felt his heart hurt. There was something wrong.

At that moment, a man came out of the house, and after inquiring suspiciously as to who this odd-looking blue-clad man might be, he nicely told Stephanie that lunch was waiting, and without waiting for her to say goodbye to her friend, grabbed her by the arm (again, Sportacus noticed her flinch of pain and his worry increased twofold) and led her back into the house. At the last moment, she twisted around, waving to him.

Sportacus stood there for awhile, fear racing through him for one of the surprisingly few times in his life, for being a hero. He ordered his ladder to go up, and left it hovering just above the clouds. He wasn't leaving.

As she had waved, she had mouthed the words that he couldn't have ignored even if he wanted to.

'_Save Me_."

* * *

It was later that evening when the commotion happened. He had been doing pushups behind an adjacent house when his crystal abruptly blared to life, glowing brightly. He immediately leapt up and dashed for the house. He was going for the door to leap in, but on the way there was a window. He stopped abruptly when he saw the scene inside, from between the slats of the blinds. 

Stephanie was sprawled on the floor, one hand to her cheek, and curled up. The man from before was yelling, Sportacus could not tell what over the rushing in his ears, and a woman was getting up with a pot of coffee, a disgusted look on her face, and saying something… she dangled the steaming pot over Stephanie's curled body.

The door broke abruptly, and startled both man and woman. The woman dropped the pot of coffee, but it landed on the floor instead of on Stephanie, and shattered. Stephanie yelped as some of the hot liquid splashed onto her legs, and she crawled away, hiding under a table.

She had her eyes closed tightly, and hands over her ears, so she didn't see how when the man stormed over to Sportacus, he simply grabbed the man by the shoulder and tossed him into a wall. She didn't see how Sportacus' normally happy blue eyes, like the eyes of a puppy, had turned furious and dangerous, and she didn't hear the foster mother's scream as she fainted from the sheer fright of it.

Sportacus glowered at the two people laying unconscious, but when his gaze traveled over to the huddle quivering underneath the dining room table, he softened immediately and stepped lightly over to her, kneeling down.

"Stephanie," he said gently. She had her hands over her ears. He hesitantly touched her shoulder and she jumped, eyes flying open. It tore at him that they were so full of fear and panic, but he kept the façade of calm and happiness up, and smiled at her very slightly, gently.

* * *

AN:

Alright! My first LT fic ever. I'm proud. But then I'm also ashamed, because Goblin King looks more and more bleak. AUGH! I'm a horrible writer!

Now, it seems pretty dark so far, doesn't it? But it gets better. Much better. Cuter, funnier, sexier. The whole bit. I shall have to warn you however, that it shall indeed contain slash. Because damn if I'm not a fan of SportaRobbie. But I also think Sportacus and Stephanie are adorable together. You can't win!

There's nowhere near enough SportaRobbie fics. Here's my contribution, world. I had attempted to write another one before this, but... it's on hiatus.

MUCH thankies to the ever-lovely Kamihopper, who draws me pretty pictures and squeals with me about how unfathomably hot Magnus is. If Iceland's glaciers are melting, it's because that man looks far too good in a sweater and jeans. Gawd.

Anyway, she gives me inspirations for this fic, so THANKS KAMI-CHAN!


	2. Anything Can Happen

**Chapter 2: Anything Can Happen**

It had taken a lot of paperwork and time and more sitting still than Sportacus could stand. But it had been worth it, he thought, as he watched Stephanie smile for the first time in days. He hugged her again and told her to go say hi to her friends after so long. She smiled again, though weakly, and went off to do just that.

Sportacus sighed in a tired way, but he still smiled as he watched her run off. It would take some getting used to, being a parent. He hadn't expected this ever, given various factors in his life, being a hero as one. Heroes didn't typically have children. Or significant others. They could have friends, close friends even, but to connect someone directly to a hero was to put that someone in direct peril. That was the paradox of being a hero: you promoted strong ties between other people, but made sure to keep all ties to you only loosely knotted. It was almost hypocritical.

Never the less, he was glad. The burns on her arms and legs were healing quickly, and the slight bruising on one cheek had almost disappeared entirely. He smiled dreamily to himself. He wasn't father of the year material… but to help Stephanie so much made him feel like he was doing something more important than just rescuing kids from bumps and scrapes. It made him feel like he was a real hero.

With that thought, he turned to the person who made it possible. Robbie Rotten was hiding ineffectually behind a tree nearby, watching. Sportacus smiled and waved and Robbie cursed before sulkily coming out from "hiding" and joining Sportacus at the wall. Sportacus was moving slightly, rolling his shoulders back and forth and stepping from foot to foot slowly. All this standing still was unnerving him.

Robbie rolled his eyes at the action and leaned against the wall.

"Well, Sportakook? What did you want?"

Sportacus smiled.

"Thanks, Robbie." Robbie looked at him doubtfully, one eyebrow raised. "No, I mean it," Sportacus continued. "I… I wouldn't have been able to save Stephanie like this if you didn't help me with all that paperwork stuff… so, thank you."

Robbie shifted and mumbled, unused to praise or being told by his rival that he was appreciated.

"It wasn't like you couldn't have found anyone else to do the job," he finally said, not looking at Sportacus. "Besides… it's not like I had anything better to do. I wouldn't have been able to sleep in peace if Pinky was left there." Sportacus fairly beamed at him, and Robbie looked startled.

"See? I knew you cared! You're just a softie, Robbie!"

"I am _not_!" Robbie yelled, looking scandalized. "I meant that, if she was in trouble and you couldn't" he sneered "_save_ her, your pathetic wailing would've kept me awake all the time. Don't read into things that aren't there!"

This only caused Sportacus to smile wider, and before Robbie could stop him, enveloped him in a hug that nearly cracked the taller man's back.

"Thank you!" Sportacus said again, finally releasing a bewildered Robbie. "Thank you for being such a good friend."

"Friend!" Robbie scoffed and pulled a disgusted face. "Whatever gave you _that_ idea? Blech."

Sportacus chuckled and told Robbie he could go back to his cake (he shuddered) eating if he wanted to, and with that, he leapt over the wall and went to check in on Stephanie and the other children. As much as it pained him to admit, she couldn't play many sports until her arms got better.

Robbie stood there for a minute more, fighting with himself. Finally, he stalked off back toward his lair, and steadfastly ignored the warm tingling around his torso where the blue sports elf had hugged him. It just meant that he was exuberant as always, like a large puppy.

It didn't mean anything at all.

* * *

A week had passed, and everyone could see that Stephanie was getting better. Her arms were very nearly healed, and she ran around and played with the other children. Robbie Rotten had been relatively quiet, and that worried Sportacus slightly, wondering if maybe he had pushed it too far when thanking Robbie. 

Of course, that thought was shoved violently aside when Stephanie came back to their designated pick-up spot, sans smile.

"Stephanie?" he asked, pushing up off the ground from a set of pushups and rolling onto his feet. "What's wrong?"

He held her when she didn't say anything and simply tried to hide herself against him, like she was trying to make the world disappear. When he felt tears start to soak through his shirt, he rubbed her back lightly and guided her back up the ladder into the air ship.

He had an extra room added onto an unused part of his airship when he adopted Stephanie, so that she could have her own room, even if it was small. An air ship mechanic had had to come out and see to its construction and make sure the air ship wouldn't be unbalanced by it, and everything checked out okay. But when they climbed back into the air ship, Stephanie didn't go for her room, despite the tears still evident on her face. Sportacus hugged her and asked again what was wrong. She sniffled, and her shoulders jerked when she tried to kill a sob before it began.

"We… were playing…" she muttered into his shirt, still trying to stay strong. "We were racing… and we passed by the house…"

Sportacus frowned for a moment in confusion before it dawned on him. The house.

Her uncle's house.

He rubbed her back again as she broke down and started crying silently again, and he crooned little ineffectual comforts to her. He pressed a panel on the wall that caused the nearest bed, his own, to come out from the wall, and he sat her down on the edge and sat next to her, still holding and muttering that it would be okay.

Eventually she fell asleep with her head on his lap and Sportacus gently running his fingers through her hair. He was getting uncomfortable staying still like that, but he forced himself to. Stephanie wasn't okay, and if sleep would dry her tears, he'd let her sleep for however long she wanted to.

* * *

The next day found him knocking on the lid to Robbie's underground home. His lips quirked upward as he heard the man's complaining about interrupted naps get closer until finally Robbie shakily pushed the lid open and glared at Sportacus.

"What do you want _now_?"

"I wanted to ask you to babysit Stephanie." he replied quickly. He knew this was a risky idea. Robbie could easily say no. But…

"Why in the world would you ask _me_ of all people to do that?"

Sportacus took a deep breath.

"Because I trust you, Robbie."

This completely halted the tirade that Robbie had formed in his head, and the town villain was left speechless. Sportacus continued.

"I haven't told anyone this, because I don't want people to worry. But Stephanie is still upset, and… and the only adults in town are all too busy to watch after her, and I don't know them as well as you. So… please, Robbie? I'll make it up to you, I promise. I know I already owe you from before, but I need someone I can rely on for when people need saving and I can't leave her alone in the air ship, and I have to meet the contractor for the air ship company to sign some more forms for her room on my ship, and-"

"Alright already!" Robbie snapped. Sportacus had begun bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet as he counted off all the reasons why, and it was making Robbie feel tired just watching him. Sportacus' eyes lit up and he hugged Robbie, almost knocking the man back down into his own house.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" he cried joyfully. Robbie sputtered and tried to pry the man off, blushing furiously, but the difference in strength didn't give him a chance. When Sportacus finally let go and stepped back, his grin dropped slightly at the redness in Robbie's face. Did he squeeze him too hard and cut off his air? He had thought he was being careful, but maybe not… maybe Robbie was getting weaker? His eyes widened at that thought and he looked Robbie over again. The other man wasn't gasping for breath, he was breathing normally, but his face was still red. Was that blushing?

Sportacus shrugged it off. As long as Robbie was still… _relatively_ healthy, it was okay. Though, a deeper part of his mind that the hero often tried to not listen to, wondered just what it was that Robbie was blushing about.

"Can you come at about four this afternoon then?"

"Fine!" Robbie snapped again, one hand over his face in an attempt to hide his blushing. "But… but you're gonna owe me big for this." Sportacus nodded, not even caring. He thanked him again, waved, and flipped off.

Robbie leaned against the cold pipe and tried to calm down. This was the second time that flipping blue elf had hugged him. And… he trusted him? That didn't make any sense when Robbie thought about it. He frowned. He must be desperate if he was coming around asking the one person in town who hated children to babysit. A fragile charge, at that. Robbie sighed and started descending back into his house.

* * *

"You came!" 

Robbie glared sullenly.

"Yeah yeah… where's the pink little sprite anyway?"

"In the air ship."

Robbie paused for a whole three seconds.

"In… the air ship."

"Uh-huh," Sportacus replied, looking confused at the face Robbie was making.

"… fine." Robbie finally muttered, and allowed Sportacus to hand him the ladder and rattle off all sorts of mundane things about taking care of a little girl ("You can't feed her lots of sugar Robbie.") until he finally waved Sportacus away and started climbing.

"I won't kill her," Robbie called down. Sportacus went from vaguely worried to soft right before his eyes.

"I know. Just be careful."

Robbie continued climbing and tried to banish the flood of warmth seeing that look on Sportacus' face had given him.

"Stupid Sportakook," he grumbled.

* * *

The afternoon-evening was spent rather calmly. Stephanie was putting together a puzzle on the floor, and after Robbie had complained about there being nowhere decent to sit in the air ship, Stephanie managed to get the bed out from the wall, and Robbie was sitting on that, reading a large manual that Stephanie suspected had something to do with machines. It seemed large enough, and she thought she caught glimpses of diagrams when he turned the pages. Dinner had been an interesting experience, and Stephanie ended up just making herself some soup and a sandwich, while Robbie sneered and poked at various things suspiciously. She had gotten him to eat a little bit of soup and a sandwich too, but the sandwich had to be peanut butter. She slipped a couple of banana slices in there as well, and as far as she knew, he hadn't noticed. 

She turned back to her puzzle and frowned. She was stuck. There had to be a piece missing somewhere, because she just could not find the right one to continue on. She sighed for the millioneth time and flopped over onto her side dramatically, playing dead. Robbie glanced up from the book and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Something wrong Pinky?"

She huffed and sat up again.

"I can't find the right piece."

Robbie's eyes shifted down to the puzzle laying in half-finished pieces on the floor, and he frowned. Leave it to her to put it together the difficult way. _He_ always did it from outside in, like sensible people. No wonder she couldn't finish it. He folded a corner of the book and closed it, setting it down on the bed, and got up. Walking over and sitting on the floor next to her, he sighed.

"What piece do you need?"

Stephanie looked highly shocked, but she recovered quickly (almost as quickly as her "parent", Robbie thought) and smiled at him. It unnerved him, but he was determined to not let it show. He had to get used to people smiling at him without hidden intentions.

"The one that fits here," she pointed to a larger chunk of puzzle, a spot in the corner. Robbie studied it, and studied the cover of the box, then glanced at all the other chunks of puzzle. After a minute of comparing, he pointed at a small clump of pieces.

"That one," he said, and Stephanie reached over and slid it closer. She frowned.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like it…"

"I'm sure, alright? Now just put it in place."

She put it where it was supposed to go, carefully shifting the pieces to fit into each other, and she gave a little cry of happiness when they all did in fact fit together. She turned to Robbie.

"You see?" he said arrogantly. "I told you that's where they went, but you didn't want to trust me, and I was right."

She smiled a deep smile, the kind that makes you close your eyes, and giggled. Robbie stopped talking and just looked at the puzzle, finding two small pieces and snapping them together.

Stephanie scooted closer to him and found another piece that fit with the one he was working on, and picked it up and placed it in front of him. He blinked for a moment before wordlessly taking it and attaching it to the rest.

* * *

Sportacus climbed into the air ship after night had fallen (but not _too_ late- he still had a bedtime after all) and looked around, half-expecting cake to be smeared all over the walls and robots to be lurking behind his piloting console and messing with it. But what he found was something that made him wish he owned a camera. 

There was one of those giant jigsaw puzzles he found out Stephanie was fond of (he didn't care for them unless he could do back flips over the puzzle and put pieces in place while in mid-air) laying on the floor, completed. And next to it lay Robbie Rotten, sprawled out and snoring lightly, with a mop of pink hair across his stomach. Sportacus was trying very hard to not make any noise, but it was difficult when he wanted to bust out laughing.

Robbie Rotten, town villain. Robbie Rotten, laziest man in LazyTown. And Robbie Rotten, pillow for an eight year old girl.

It was too good. He chuckled lightly, but it didn't wake either of the dreamers on the floor. Stepping carefully over to them, he gently gathered Stephanie up in his arms and carried her to her room, tucking her into bed. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and exited the small room to see Robbie's normally peaceful- in a word, slack- sleeping face furrowed in some kind of disturbance. A sleepy hand flopped in the direction of his stomach, where Stephanie's head had been resting, and Sportacus realized that Robbie, even in his sleep, was missing the warmth that had been there before. As Stephanie had told him before, his air ship got rather chilly sometimes, though he didn't notice it.

So, not really thinking about it, Sportacus kneeled next to Robbie and put his hand on the spot where Stephanie's head had been. The other man's restlessness stopped, and after a minute his face relaxed again and the snoring resumed. Sportacus chuckled silently, but then yawned. It was getting close to his bedtime. He was faced with a dilemma. Wake Robbie up and send him home, or let him stay? And if so, stay where?

The thought of Robbie staggering home half-asleep and going to curl up in that fuzzy orange chair of his, all alone, made something in his heart twinge. That was out. And if Robbie woke up, he'd go back to that place by himself. Sportacus frowned in concentration. He didn't want to leave Robbie on the floor, but he also didn't know if he would wake up if moved, so he'd have to not take the chance. He stood up, ignoring the muttered protest when his hand was removed, and pressed a button on the wall. Retrieving an extra blanket and pillow, he carried them back over to Robbie and very carefully put the pillow underneath Robbie's head and laid the blanket over him. Thinking for a moment, he went back to the opened wall panel and selected a small stuffed animal, laying it on Robbie's stomach before he climbed into his own bed (he wondered what the book was, but he just set it on the floor) and fell asleep. Robbie clutched the stuffed animal tightly and slept deeply.

* * *

AN (also, my inane ramblings that won't go in my LJ):

A fast update, since I can, and also because I wanted to establish this story well. The first chapter is more of an intro, don't you think? Regardless, I thought it best to get this one out relatively soon. The others may or may not come out as quickly, as I've gotten... most of it written. That is, I've come to a point that would be just fine to end it at, but my Kami-chan would rip me limb from limb if I did in fact end it there. The problem lays in that I'm not entirely sure what to continue it with.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

I'm glad to see people like my story enough to watch it! That makes me feel like I'm doing something right! XD And thanks for the reviews. ... review. Whatever. . First chapters are rather strange that way. No one wants to review yet because... it's only one chapter. I understand!

Also, as a preemptive strike: I do not care if you don't like SportaRobbie, slash, or other such things. You can tell me all you like of course, but it doesn't really change anything.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm writing a fic for a children's television show. One that, in all honesty, I must watch in secret. Which is hard to do, given that the only tv I have access to is the big-screen one in the lounge downstairs. It is entirely unsuitable for secrecy, let me tell you.

On the plus side: people cannot hate LazyTown, even if it's just because it's so ridiculous they have to laugh. It's a beautiful thing.

Ah! I've rambled enough, I think. To conclude, thank you to people who like my story (18 hits already? Sweet baby jesus!) and to Kami-chan. Please review!


	3. Get It Together

**Chapter 3: Get It Together**

Sportacus felt horrible. It was a strange feeling for him, both like and unlike being made to sit still, or a sugar meltdown.

He had thought Stephanie was getting better. He thought, after a month, she would be getting better. And she was, he supposed. She smiled more often, and played with her friends. But he would hear her trying to stifle her crying at night, and he would go in and try to comfort her as best as he could, and she would fall asleep, but the cycle kept going. He was beginning to dread the nighttime.

And even more than that, he never failed to miss the look she got when she would ask him for help with a puzzle, and he tried every time, seriously tried, but she had to keep reminding him to not do acrobatic tricks with the pieces, and eventually he would have to give up. He was never good at puzzles, or small things like that. And he felt bad about that, but he felt even worse when she would smile at him and say it was alright. Sometimes, she would forget to close her eyes when she smiled, and he could see that she didn't mean it.

He was failing, and he didn't know what to do about it. The thought began to plague him, that he wasn't possibly father material, and he would fail miserably at raising this beautiful little girl because he didn't know how. He wasn't what she needed, all by himself. She needed someone to save her, and someone to play games with, yes. And he could do that. He could do that over and over again. When she needed someone to talk to, he could listen and give advice, and he was good at it. And when she wanted someone to see a picture she drew, she could show him and he would tell her what a good artist she was and she would giggle and be genuinely pleased.

But that wasn't enough, and he knew it. Because when she wanted to do something quiet and un-active, like puzzles, or drawing, or playing a little electronic keyboard she had, she had no one to do it with. He couldn't help her with those things, no matter how much he wanted to make her happy.

He could support her, and make sure she didn't fall. But he couldn't be her guide. And at eight years old, she needed one. It certainly couldn't be the not-quite-human town hero, who did stunts that Robbie, at least, considered dangerously stupid.

Sportacus leaned back against the tree he was sitting under, and buried his face in his hands.

"Someone kill your dog, Sportakook?"

Sportacus didn't look up, but he lowered his hands.

"I wouldn't have a dog," he answered. "It'd be a cat."

"Figures," Robbie muttered, and sat down next to the unusually still sports elf. "So then, what's the occasion you're so stationary for?"

Sportacus shook his head.

"I don't know what to do. I don't think I can help Stephanie on my own." he said, and stared at his hands. He felt like crying at the unfairness of it. Here he was, the hero, and he was useless. He couldn't save one little girl from loneliness. He had barely saved her from abuse. What kind of hero was that? Robbie snorted.

"Stupid. Of course you can't help her on your own."

Sportacus cringed slightly. He had expected that, but it still stung…

"Even if her uncle was still alive and it had been just her parents that had died, he wouldn't have been able to help her 'all by himself' either. Don't be so arrogant."

Sportacus looked up abruptly and stared at Robbie. Robbie felt something cold go down his spine when he saw that the icy blue eyes were filled with more moisture than normal. He didn't think he could hold it together if the man actually _cried_.

"I… I mean…" Robbie said hurriedly, trying to make that kicked puppy look go away and stay away and stop trying to manipulate him. "I meant that, nobody can do that kind of thing on their own. Be… besides, she lost her family all at once, and she might still be suffering from what happened to her after. Don't… don't be so hard on yourself because of that. You couldn't have stopped it, and no one could have. So let it go already."

To his horror, the speech he had meant to get the man moving and bouncing around again only made tears run down his face. Robbie nearly had a panic attack at that. He froze and his body stiffened when Sportacus leaned against his shoulder and thanked him, still sniffling and his body jerking slightly every few seconds as he tried to regain control and stop crying. Robbie gulped nervously, and hesitantly brought one hand up to the other man's shoulders and rested his arm there in a half-embrace while he cried it out. This was mortifying for him. His rival was bawling his eyes out after he had tried to cheer him up. But as mortifying as it was for him, he knew it would be more so for Sportacus if anyone else caught him in this state. He was considered the town hero, and heroes never cried. Even Robbie knew that much. If anyone else saw Sportacus like this, it would be shattering. The only reason is was safe to do so around him was because Robbie had never considered him a hero. There was no expectation that could be damaged.

So, as he waited for Sportacus to pull himself together and he rubbed the man's back with one hand, he kept alert for anyone nearby.

After Sportacus had managed to dry his eyes and pull himself together again, he stayed where he was, leaning against Robbie. Robbie, for his part, had been thinking deeply and was rather unaware that the crying stopped, so he kept rubbing his back idly. Sportacus closed his eyes for a few minutes. The crying had made them sore.

"You know," Robbie said quietly after a few minutes. Sportacus opened his eyes and looked up. "If you wanted, I could help out." Sportacus blinked, and was about to say something when Robbie continued, rushed as if he was expecting a definite 'no'.

"I mean, I don't know much about kids, other than that they're noisy and dirty, and I know even less about little girls, but… she doesn't seem to hate me, right?" And here Robbie looked down at Sportacus, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He had thought Stephanie liked him okay during that babysitting stint, but maybe he had been wrong and she was only humoring him…

Sportacus smiled slightly. "She likes you," he said. "She's always asking me when you get to watch her again, and whether or not I think you're planning something new to get me kicked out of town." He laughed slightly and Robbie blushed again and cleared his throat slightly.

"Well um… in that case, if you do ever need help, I'd be, ah, available. Provided I'm not plotting your destruction or anything at that time."

Sportacus laughed loudly at that, and Robbie smiled one of the few genuine smiles in his life. He made a mental note: heartfelt speeches make him cry- jokes cheer him up. He'd file that away for later. His musing was interrupted when Sportacus looked up at him again and smiled in a way Robbie was unfamiliar with, but it made his stomach do more flips than Sportacus on a good day.

"Thank you Robbie," he said. Robbie fidgeted and glanced away.

"Stop thanking me," he muttered. Sportacus only laughed again and hugged him.

"I mean it though. Even when you're trying to kick me out of town or calling me names, you're still my best friend Robbie. And… and, I think Stephanie would really like it if you visited and did puzzles with her and stuff."

Robbie, even through the shock of being told he was someone's friend, let alone _best_ friend, still heard that unspoken sentence at the end.

_And I'd like it if you visited too._

He could only nod.

* * *

"Robbie? Can you help me again?"

He rolled his eyes and looked over the puzzle again. They had gotten increasingly difficult, where they weren't even rectangular pictures anymore. Sportacus was off to the side, doing jumping jacks and pushups and everything in between.

Robbie deftly picked out a piece and handed it to Stephanie, who pushed it into place with the rest of the puzzle and grinned triumphantly as if she had done it herself. Sportacus bounced over and looked at it.

"Great job guys!" he beamed. Robbie looked at him like he was the lowest form of intelligence on the planet and he was merely humoring his continued existence. Sportacus did not catch this.

"Let's have some lunch now, okay?"

Stephanie cheered and Robbie looked at the available food doubtfully. Sports Candy… blech.

A few minutes later, and Robbie sneering at how much energy Sportacus wasted doing something as simple as making food, the lunch was ready. Sandwiches were again the meal of choice.

For Sportacus, as usual, it was made entirely of plant matter. Tomato, cucumber, lettuce, avocado. Stephanie was making Robbie a sandwich while Sportacus continued to flip back and forth and make hers (which happened to be peanut butter and jelly). She smiled at Robbie.

"What do you feel like having?" she chirped. Robbie blinked, coming out of the daze he had been in watching the crazy man with spring-loaded ankles flip over the table for the fifteenth time.

"Uh…" he said, looking at the sandwich ingredients laid out. "Peanut butter." Sportacus paused, landing on the floor.

"Just peanut butter? But Robbie, you really should-"

It was at that moment that he saw Stephanie glare at him. He was surprised enough to immediately shut his mouth. Robbie looked at him questioningly, and looked back at Stephanie, who was again smiling sweetly. "Anything else on it Robbie?" she asked. He shook his head and picked up the book he had been reading again.

Stephanie used this opportunity to slather peanut butter onto a piece of bread, quickly slice up a banana and smoosh it up, and spread that on over the peanut butter and slap the other piece of bread on top. Sportacus stared with wide eyes.

Stephanie. Sweet pink innocent Stephanie. The little girl who never lied in her life, was _tricking_ Robbie Rotten into eating Sports Candy. Sportacus thought he might turn to stone from shock. She slid the plate over to Robbie, along with a glass of milk (the only thing Robbie would drink that was available on the air ship, as fruit juice and water were both far too healthy) and Sportacus took a bite out of his sandwich. There was no way Robbie wouldn't notice. He was smart. Robbie Rotten probably had some kind of _sense_ for what was healthy and those senses would go off in the face of something so blatant as banana. He watched, fascinated, as Robbie picked up the sandwich with one hand, the other still holding his book, and he took a bite. Chewed. Swallowed.

Sportacus looked incredulously back at Stephanie, who smiled a toothy grin at him. For a brief moment, he thought of what she would be capable of as she got older. Trickery was an addictive trait, after all. He shuddered slightly and watched Robbie devour the rest of the sandwich and gulp down the milk.

"What was that other taste?" he asked Stephanie. Sportacus looked at her, and she shot a very hard stare at him that made him freeze. Then she looked confused at Robbie and shrugged.

"I think it was a new kind of jelly, like the ones they have in jars mixed in with the peanut butter," she answered. Robbie smiled slightly.

"I love those things. Makes it so much easier to not have to get out two different jars and two different knives."

"Oh, yes," she replied. "Was it alright though? Did you like it?"

When Robbie nodded, Sportacus felt like the floor had dropped out from underneath him. That… was incredible. He had tried to get Robbie to eat healthy food before. On one of the more uneventful days when he felt bored, he had put some Sports Candy by the entrance to Robbie's lair, hoping that out of laziness the man might take them instead of having to go all the way to a store for food.

He had had to maneuver his air ship to a higher altitude when they were systematically shot out of a cannon and into the side of his home.

But an eight year old had succeeded, simply by disguising it as something unhealthy. He was literally speechless. Stephanie beamed at him and then skipped off to her bedroom to get something new to play with. Robbie picked at the remains of the puzzle, secretly enjoying it more than the book. Sportacus shook his head. What had he gotten into?

"Um… Robbie…" he started. Robbie looked up from the puzzle. Sportacus opened his mouth, but caught a bubblegum pink head peeking from the doorway to her bedroom, and he caught the glare that she sent. He quickly rephrased things in his mind.

"Um… say, why don't you like healthy food?"

Robbie narrowed his eyes slightly in suspicion, but let it roll off him.

"Because it tastes like dirt," he replied evenly, and put another piece in place. Sportacus scratched the back of his head.

"That's not true…" he murmured, slightly confused. "Have you ever tried any?"

"Does it matter? I'm not going to eat it, and that's final."

Sportacus briefly considered arguing with him about it, but wisely thought otherwise when he remembered the hard stares Stephanie was giving him. He wasn't to jeopardize the small amount of progress she was making. That's what those glares were saying.

"Well, if you're sure, I guess-" Abruptly, the air ship rocked to the side. Stephanie squealed from her room as she lost her footing and fell down, and Robbie yelled and dropped to the floor of his volition. Sportacus stumbled, but stayed on his feet and made it over to the piloting console, dropping down into the seat and grabbing hold of the wheel.

A storm had moved in very suddenly, and the air ship was caught in the wind.

"Robbie, go help Stephanie!" he yelled over his shoulder. "I'm going to get the ship up above the clouds!" He heard Robbie scramble across the floor (he narrowly missed a couple of buttons on the floor that would have shot various types of sports equipment at him) and he then turned his attention to getting the air ship to a higher altitude without catching a current.

Ten minutes later, he jumped out of the piloting seat and onto his feet. The air ship was still rocking slightly, but it felt more like a conventional ship at sea than anything dangerous. He carefully walked over to Stephanie's room and looked in.

Robbie had propped himself in a corner on the floor, legs to either side to brace against anymore sliding, and Stephanie was curled up against him, clinging to his vest while Robbie patted her hair reassuringly. He looked up when Sportacus stepped into the room.

"Stephanie? You alright?"

She looked up from Robbie's chest to Sportacus, and abruptly launched herself at the man and clung to him instead. He staggered back a bit at the impact, but held steady. When he repeated himself, she nodded, her face still buried against him. He smiled a little and glanced at Robbie, who was still on the floor. He was looking at the two of them with a sort of glazed over stare, like he was either remembering something or thinking very hard. Sportacus could never tell which, from the meager handful of times he had seen it. He turned his attention back to Stephanie.

"I think your puzzle got moved around a bit. You want to go and fix it up?"

She nodded and let him go, walking slightly unsteadily out of the room. Robbie was standing up, though having trouble remaining balanced and Sportacus moved closer to help steady him.

"Whoa, hang on, it's kinda-" at that moment, the ship bumped slightly due to a rough wind, but it was just enough to fully unbalance Robbie so he was sent pitching forward against Sportacus, who was unprepared for it and fell over backwards. Robbie landed on top of him.

"… unsteady…" he finished weakly. Robbie froze at the breath against his neck and Sportacus felt him tense up.

"Robbie?" he asked, concern for the other man overriding the distraction of how warm he felt. Sportacus gulped and shivered once. "Robbie… are you okay?"

Robbie attempted to push himself up, but his limbs weren't cooperating. Partly from lack of muscle strength, and partly from the aftereffects of adrenaline from the air ship jerking around, and from that damn elf's warm breath and skin-to-skin contact, Robbie's arms were trembling too badly to support him for longer than a moment.

"N-no," he finally replied, the tremors traveling through his body. Sportacus shifted around until he was face to face with him. Robbie thought he might pass out right there. This was entirely too close. Way too close. Dangerously, badly close.

Robbie was frightened out of his wits, and for once in his life, Sportacus was keen enough to observe it.

His blue eyes widened in realization and worry, and without thinking about it, he wrapped his arms around the man and tried to rub the shaking out of him. This made Robbie's eyes go wider, if possible, and he started shaking slightly harder.

"Robbie? Robbie, what's wrong? Did you get hurt?"

Robbie took one look at the troubled, sincere look in those ice-blue depths and he bit his lip to keep from bursting into frustrated tears.

"W-why?…"

Sportacus looked confused, and opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Robbie kept going regardless.

"Why… why are you doing this? You're being too nice to me. What do you want? Why… why do you keep _touching_ me? Like I deserve it? Like I deserve to be thanked! Why! You don't make any sense!" Tears were running down his face now, despite his best efforts to stop them, and they dripped onto the stunned face of Sportacus, who was regarding Robbie with a look akin to horror and despair.

"No…" he murmured, moving one hand up to Robbie's face and wiping away tears as they came, while the other hand continued rubbing his back in slow circles.

"It's okay…" he found himself repeating the words he'd always croon to Stephanie when she cried, soothing words that didn't mean anything, but words he desperately wanted to be true. Robbie shook, and hid his face in Sportacus' shoulder, trying to regain control. He was more confused and unsure than he had ever been in his life, and seeing Sportacus and Stephanie together like that, like a family, he had been shaken to his very core.

He truly believed he would never be able to share that.

"Robbie," Sportacus said quietly, watching some loose strands of hair on the side of Robbie's head sway when he breathed. He realized somewhere in the back of his mind that the man smelled a little like coconut.

"Robbie," he kept going. "You do deserve those things. You've done a lot of nice things, so… so you deserve to be thanked. And, everyone deserves to be touched-"

"Liar."

Sportacus felt his heart sink at the determined mutter from against his shoulder.

"I'm not ly-"

"Yes you are."

Robbie raised his head slightly and looked at Sportacus. His eyes were slightly red, and the look in them froze the blood in Sportacus' veins. They held the look of someone who had given up trying to be saved.

"If you aren't lying, then why are you the only one?" Robbie whispered. "If everyone deserves to be touched, then how come I'm the only one? Why did… why did everyone else get nice things like that and I was the one who got left cold? You're a liar."

Sportacus felt like crying again, but he held it back. It wouldn't help Robbie to cry with him. Not right now. Right now, he had to help him by being strong.

This was something he could do.

"You deserve it," he said, looking him directly in the eyes. "And I don't care if you think you do or not. You won't get left cold again, not even if I have to drag you out of your lair and tell Stephanie a doctor prescribed you get daily hugs, the more a day the better. And if you try to keep her from getting to you, I'll have to hug you myself. Got it?"

Robbie's look softened and he nodded minutely and glanced away. Sportacus thought he looked somewhat like a little kid in that instant, and it was such a contrast to the normal Robbie, who was so adult-like and serious, that he automatically grinned and planted a kiss on his forehead like he'd done with Stephanie when he put her to bed. Robbie's eyes widened, but he didn't protest. Neither did he protest when Sportacus wrapped both arms around him again and hugged him, the most childish closed-eye smile Robbie had ever seen plastered on his face. Robbie scoffed, finally regaining some of his composure.

"You're like a little kid, you know that?"

Sportacus opened his eyes.

"What's wrong with that?"

The question threw him off guard and he didn't have an answer.

"Besides…" Sportacus continued. "If I was really like a little kid, I would probably do something like _this_!" And he began tickling Robbie's sides unmercifully. Robbie froze for a whole moment before dissolving into laughter and trying to squirm away simultaneously. The ruckus brought Stephanie back into the room, and she wasted no time jumping into the fray and tickling Sportacus, effectively immobilizing the man and allowing Robbie to escape, panting for air.

Stephanie was too busy laughing and trying to find unguarded spots on Sportacus to notice that Robbie was still smiling.

* * *

AN:

Eh! 101 views? You guys make me cry. Seriously. I love it.

My worry with this chapter, however delicious I personally find it, is that A) I somehow made the both of them out to be emotionally fragile and B) Stephanie may be a little to... assertive and tricky, for an eight year old. Are my fears founded? I'm wringing my hands here.

At any rate, I do like this chapter. It seems like nothing is getting done, when I look at it as a whole, but I feel like at least a little progress is made. When I compare it to the next chapter's scene, it seems like either a prelude or repeat. I'm not sure which is worse... anyway, as none of you but Kami-chan know what the next scene is, it doesn't matter.

Ahem. Anyway, I'm feeling okay about this chapter, as this is where I'm having more fun than I was previously, with Goblin King. That fic was bogging me down, however nice an idea it is. I've noticed though, that I have a thing for chapter titles that are also bits of songs, based on whatever I'm writing about. In Goblin King, it was the titles of David Bowie songs (I still drool over Miracle Goodnight and I wish I could use it over and over), because Goblin King is about Labyrinth, and is based on a music video Bowie made for the movie. Hot stuff.

With this fic, I'm just pulling out quotes from songs in LazyTown. If I knew how to type in Icelandic, I would add that in too. It would also help if I actually knew any Icelandic beyond "Rikki hann er bestur", but that's beside the point. "No Use In Crying", "Anything Can Happen", and "Get It Together". I'm going to need more songs! I refuse the cake song. Refuse!

Again, I loves teh reviews! I eat them like delicious honey butter toast. ... oh, I gave myself an idea. Bad.


	4. Give A Little More

**Chapter 4: Give A Little More**

He didn't know why he was here. This was a stupid idea. He made a face and scooted away from a bug crawling in the grass. He didn't know why he let the two of them lure him away from his nice quiet safe house underground, just to go… _picnicking_. Stephanie set out a blanket on the ground while Sportacus jumped up and down on the balls of his feet like an impatient child, holding out a backpack full of food and glancing over at the lake.

It figured they'd bring him somewhere so disgustingly wholesome.

Stephanie finally got the blanket set up, placing small rocks on the corners to keep it from blowing away from any stray gust, though the day was calm and rather hot. Robbie stalked over and sat resolutely on it, crossing his arms and legs in a huff. Stephanie smiled at him and he softened for a moment, but then stubbornly turned his head away. She giggled at his attitude and turned to Sportacus.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Nope. All done."

Sportacus looked like he might jump out of his skin in excitement.

"I'm gonna go swimming then!"

Robbie snorted. He was a big kid. Though, swimming sounded okay on a hot day like this, but there was no way he was getting in that water, it was probably infested with parasites that would latch onto him and suck him dry… he chuckled and turned to look back at the pair of them, fully intending to tell them about his theory and watch Stephanie's face become horrified at the prospect of muck and bugs.

The idea died a sudden, abrupt death.

When he turned around, Stephanie was sitting on the edge of the blanket, folding a shirt up and putting it beside her. He recognized that shirt. There was no way the elf was…

But he was. Completely shirtless. The boots were next, then the goggles and hat. Luckily, the pants stayed on, but they had always been skin-tight, minus the flaring at the bottom. Robbie felt all the blood in his body rush to his head, and he felt slightly dizzy.

It should have been outlawed for the man to be seen without all clothes on, he thought dazedly. It was dangerous. The shirt and hat especially. The shirt because those abs could kill someone, and the hat because people would probably hurt themselves trying to touch his hair all the time. Dirty blonde and it looked like it was lighter than air. It probably was. Robbie felt the rational part of his brain shutting down.

Sportacus continued to bounce lightly on his feet and grin while Stephanie fished out the bottle of sunscreen. He thanked her and took it, shaking it and then popping the seal. It was a new bottle. He saw it at the store when he went to restock his Sports Candy supply and get more food for Stephanie (he had been slightly surprised when she insisted she couldn't live on it all by itself like he did), and grabbed a bottle curiously. Coconut scented.

Of course, it didn't smell exactly like… whatever it was that Robbie used, but it was close enough to make him happy. He started applying it to his arms and face and chest, missing entirely the glazed look Robbie had adopted. When he was done, he playfully grabbed Stephanie and applied some to her squinched-up-in-mock-disgust face, and told her to put some on her arms too if she was going to be in the sun. He released her and she giggled and collapsed on the blanket, fishing out an apple from the backpack and munching on it. Sportacus was about to drop the bottle and run for the lake (it was soooo hot, he didn't know how they could stand it in the summer) when he remembered Robbie. The tall man spent so much time underground, he'd probably burn very easily… Sportacus crouched down next to Robbie and spread some sunscreen onto his face.

At that moment, Robbie's mental facilities started up again with a bang, like faulty machinery. He blushed and tried to bat the elf's hand away, but Sportacus merely avoided his swipes and went on calmly applying the sunscreen.

"There!" he said, and recapped the bottle, tossing it onto the blanket. "All done!" He beamed at Robbie, who was staring at him. His grin slipped a little.

"… what? What are you looking at?"

"Your ears," he replied calmly. Sportacus paled slightly. In his excitement, he had forgotten… he wore that hat over the tips of his ears for a very good reason.

As his mind was still trying to reboot, Robbie didn't think much of reaching out and tracing a finger over one of the very slightly pointed ears. They were fascinating. At a distance, even without the hat on, you probably wouldn't be able to tell. But up close, they had a very slight point that couldn't be entirely human. Robbie blinked, a part of his brain coming online again.

"I knew it. You're _so_ an elf."

Sportacus looked away and fidgeted. What was he supposed to say to that? This was awkward. Stephanie had crawled over now, and he looked at her uncertainly. He wasn't afraid of being shunned, really… but it was something he didn't like to spread around, that he wasn't quite human… it defeated the whole purpose of him being a slightly-above-average hero. With Robbie touching his ear though, it was getting increasingly hard to concentrate on being worried about anything.

"Really Sportacus?" she asked, looking at him curiously and then studying the ear that Robbie wasn't busy touching. He fidgeted again.

"Yes…" he murmured, getting butterflies in his stomach. He stayed as still as he could as Stephanie reached up and touched his other ear. He felt a small flicker of annoyance, feeling somewhat like a petting zoo animal, but it passed within an instant and Stephanie withdrew her hand.

"Wow," she breathed. "That's so cool!" and she beamed at him, eyes bright and smiling. He felt like he was going to melt in relief.

But if he melted, he wasn't entirely sure Robbie wouldn't poke at him with a stick, as the man _still_ had his ear under close scrutiny.

"It doesn't do anything special Robbie," he finally muttered. Robbie came out of his daze and finally let go, leaning back.

"You're sure?" Robbie replied sarcastically. "Maybe it can do sports tricks too."

Sportacus smiled at that and abruptly jumped to his feet and back flipped over to the water's edge, splashing in like an exuberant puppy. He pretended not to hear Robbie yelling at him for being a showoff.

* * *

"I'm hungry," Stephanie said, flopping back onto the blanket. Robbie looked at her. Her feet were wet where she had been dangling them into the water, and her head and side were damp from where Sportacus had snuck up and splashed her, diving back underwater before she could retaliate.

"Then get the food out," Robbie replied dryly.

"I don't wanna eat without Sportacus…"

He sighed, rolled his eyes, and got to his feet. The stupid elf was in the middle of the lake, doing backstrokes. He walked to the edge and cupped his hands to his mouth…

"GET OVER HERE YOU BLUE ELF!"

He smirked as Sportacus was startled enough to lose his rhythm and thrashed for a second before treading water. He spotted Robbie and paddled over.

"What is it?"

"Your pink thing wants food, but she won't eat without you."

Sportacus smiled. "Okay, thanks Robbie." He glanced at the slight sheen of sweat on the other man's forehead. Poor Robbie… he could use something to cool off…

Robbie thought he might be in an alternate universe when he saw something akin to an _evil_ glint in those blue eyes, and he backed up one step.

Not enough.

"YAH!" Sportacus yelled, and splashed Robbie thoroughly. He wasted no time in submerging after the stunt and swimming to the dock, reemerging underneath it.

"-HATE YOU YOU STUPID ELF!"

He felt a little guilty, but not enough to keep him from grinning mischievously. When Robbie sat down where he was in a huff, the grin faded. Did he really make him mad? He hadn't meant to… he was just playing… he paddled quietly out from under the dock and swam up to Robbie, who was facing away from him.

"Robbie? Hey… are you okay? I'm sorry… don't be mad…"

Robbie turned around.

"Huh? Why are you smil- AAHHH!"

Mud dripped down off of Sportacus' face and hair, and Robbie was laughing so hard he had fallen over onto his side.

"You…" Sportacus said. "You tricked me! You villain!" And he splashed the other man again, to which Robbie retaliated by smacking him in the back of his retreating head with a mud ball.

Stephanie watched from the blanket as the two men enacted a mock battle between good and evil. She rolled her eyes as they even went so far as to add sound effects and cheesy dialogue.

'Boys,' she thought, and ate her sandwich.

* * *

Eventually, Robbie got exhausted and trailed back up the blanket, and Sportacus followed. Robbie half-expected him to shake off like a dog as he got out. There was still some mud in his gold-brown hair, but Robbie thought it was an interesting look. It made him look like he was some kind of wild man. Add a couple of twigs and a loincloth and the look would've been complete. Robbie would have snickered to himself, except he was soaking wet and starving.

Stephanie handed him his sandwich, after confirming for him that it did not have apples, vegetables, or oranges in it, like Sportacus' sandwich did. He sat down on the edge of the blanket and ate it quickly, drinking the soda that Sportacus had reluctantly brought along. He didn't miss the disturbed looks the elf was giving it as he drank it.

"Oh!" Stephanie exclaimed after the two men had finished eating. "I have a present for you Robbie!"

He blinked. "Eh?" It had better not be socks again.

"Because we know that you didn't want to come, but you did anyway, so me and Sportacus decided to get you something." She smiled at him, and no matter how many times she did that he'd still feel that damnable warm tingly sensation in his gut. He held out his hand.

"Alright already, hand it over."

She carefully dug a plastic container out of the backpack (she frowned slightly as she noticed _someone_ had duct-taped it shut to ensure it didn't escape), and handed it to Robbie along with a fork. He raised an eyebrow at it and pried the tape off. He missed the exasperated look Stephanie gave Sportacus, and his mouthed reply of "It's sugar!" as explanation. Finally, he got the lid pried off and looked inside.

Cake.

He grinned suddenly. Cake! It looked kind of weird, and some of the frosting was on the sides from being knocked around in the backpack, but it was cake! He glanced up at Stephanie briefly.

"Thanks."

She smiled and ate her apple. Sportacus was staring intensely at him, and it unnerved him slightly because it was so uncharacteristic of him to sit still, never mind keep his eyes in one place for so long. It was almost creepy. But regardless, there was cake in front of him, and its sweet smell was making his mouth water. He scooped a piece out with his fork and popped it into his mouth. He hummed happily in delight. It was delicious. He couldn't quite figure out what the flavor was though. Slightly spicy, cream cheese frosting… he swallowed.

"What's this crunchy stuff in it?"

Stephanie shrugged.

"Coconut maybe? You know how Sportacus is around sweet stuff. We kind of had to grab one and run."

Sportacus frowned slightly. It was true that just being in that cake store made him feel like he needed to run far, far away, and Stephanie had had to calm him down a couple of times before deciding on which one… but she made it sound like he had a phobia. He handled being around Ziggy's sweets pretty well, didn't he? He pouted slightly and crossed his arms. But… watching Robbie dig into the cake was simultaneously disturbing and hopeful.

The man was enjoying carrot cake. It was _priceless_. He found himself smiling slightly, even if it was mildly insulting that Robbie thought him incapable of being around sugary things now. Still… slowly, Stephanie was introducing him to healthy food, even if it was in a… unappetizing way, to him. He could stomach peanut butter if he had to, but it tended to make him drowsy afterwards. But it was clever to mix in banana with it so Robbie would eat it. Very clever.

After Robbie finished the cake (Sportacus watched him lick the last of the frosting off of the fork) Stephanie said she was going to go pick some flowers, and wandered off with a warning from Sportacus to not go too far or his crystal might not be able to pick up anything if she was in trouble.

Of course, there wasn't much chance of her walking that far, but he couldn't be too careful. After she walked off, humming cheerfully to herself, he caught Robbie shivering.

"Oh," Sportacus said, and Robbie looked at him. "Your clothes are all wet."

"Your intellect is dazzling yet again, Sportaflop."

He sighed, shaking his head.

"You should probably let them dry out."

"What do you think I'm doing? And don't forget the one who made them this way either." Robbie threw a glare at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Look, you have to actually take them off if they're gonna get dry. Besides, you'll get sick sitting in wet clothes like tha-"

"No."

"What? Why not? You _want_ to get sick?"

"There's no way in hell you're getting me to take these clothes off!"

* * *

"I hate you…"

"Yeah I know Robbie."

Robbie was sitting on the blanket, curled up as much as possible, in a pair of boxers. His clothes were hanging over a tree limb, dripping dry in the summer sun. And as much as he was loathe to admit it, he felt better now that his skin wasn't against that cold wet clothing anymore.

But he was exposed. And that wasn't good.

Whereas Sportacus had the body of a minor god and seemed happily oblivious about it, Robbie knew very well where he himself stood on the scale of attractiveness. He was tall, lanky, skinny, pale, and by now his hair was probably all a mess from being splashed so much by the man doing stretches nearby. Robbie glared at him.

"Stop that," Sportacus huffed, sitting up from his leg stretches. "You feel better now, right? So what's the problem?"

"Like you would get it," he muttered, and turned away. "Stupid sports elf."

Sportacus clenched his fists involuntarily. He was getting frustrated with everyone belittling him or treating him like a little kid. He was a grown man, and even if he liked to have fun like a kid sometimes, it didn't change that he was an adult.

This 'stupid sports elf' thing was wearing thin, and quickly.

He stood up from his spot on the grass and walked over to Robbie. He didn't miss the uncertain way Robbie eyed him as he got closer, or the way he curled up tighter without seeming to realize it. He sat down again directly in front of him, and grabbed his hands when he started to scoot backwards and away from him.

"I'm not just a stupid sports elf." he said. Robbie looked about ready to faint, so he kept his voice deliberately even and soft. "I don't think you really believe I am just that, but even if you do, I'm going to tell you now you're wrong."

Robbie tugged ineffectually on his hands, trying to break the other man's grip so he could get away. He didn't want to do this. He should have known better than to come along, and known better than to take that cake at face value. He didn't want to have this conversation. It was easier to think of him as just some pretty-boy jock elf who did back-flips everywhere. _This_ one, who held onto him and was forcing him to see the truth, this one wasn't what he wanted to deal with.

"Robbie, listen."

His eyes focused on the man again, and he blinked. Sportacus sighed.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he continued. "But… when you say that kind of stuff… it hurts. It's like… like you don't see anything else except for my sports tricks and sports candy. Or, that's all you want to see. That hurts."

"Why?" Robbie blurted out without thinking. He immediately snapped his mouth shut again, cursing inwardly. Stupid stupid stupid…

"I don't really know," Sportacus admitted, looking up for a moment like the answer might fall from the sky and hit him on the head. He looked back down and his eyes met Robbie's.

"I guess because I like you."

Robbie's world was slowly coming apart at the seams.

* * *

"I mean, you're funny and smart, and you're probably the only one in town who doesn't expect me to be a hero all the time and save them… though, I'd always save you anyway… and you're interesting. I like you, Robbie."

Robbie's eyes had glazed over again. Sportacus bit his lip and pushed forward.

"How much more do you want me to say? I want to know more about you. I want you to not be alone anymore, and I want you to be happy. That's… that's why it hurts when you say you think I'm nothing but a stupid elf. I don't want you to think that…" he swallowed hard, and his grip on Robbie's hand tightened slightly. He didn't know exactly what he was risking, but the butterflies in his stomach returned harder than ever, and for once in his life he thought he might be sick.

"If you think that… you can't love somebody who's just a stupid sports elf who does nothing but eat sports candy and save children with acrobatic stunts."

Robbie's eyes dilated, but Sportacus didn't notice. He was beyond nervous or scared. He was terrified. His hands were shaking slightly.

"Don't make fun of me."

Sportacus blinked. … What?…

"I'm not-"

"_Stop lying_."

"Robbie I don't underst-"

"OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T!"

Sportacus was shocked literally into silence, and Robbie looked more furious than he'd ever seen him.

"You, the town hero, you find it _so_ amusing to humor the one who nobody loves, is that it? It's like a conquest. 'Let's make fun of Robbie, he probably likes guys, and when I tell him I like him, he'll fall in love with me and follow me around like a little puppy dog, and we can all make fun of him behind his back!' That's it, isn't it! How the hell could anybody like _Robbie Rotten_, the pale ugly skinny man who lives in a glorified cellar and hates everyone!"

Sportacus felt something in his chest jump in panic. He was losing him. He didn't want to believe Robbie was so lonely that he couldn't trust anyone, didn't want to believe that something had happened to him that made him automatically reject everyone, but this was screaming at him in his face, this was yelling at him, _do something_. He started trembling.

"That's not it at all!"

"_You're a liar!_"

"_I'm not lying damnit!_"

Robbie panted, face red and eyes shining. Sportacus wasn't in great shape either, pale and tears about ready to spill over. He let go of Robbie's hands, and before the other man could make an escape, grabbed his shoulders instead, and pushed him onto the ground.

"Don't leave," he said, his voice cracking as he tried to stay calm. "Don't… Stephanie will cry… please don't leave."

Robbie didn't move. His eyes were glazing over again, and Sportacus knew he was on the verge of losing him again. He was willing to flail blindly in the dark mystery that was Robbie Rotten and his intentions, if it would mean the man could be happy.

"Robbie…" he said quietly, almost whispering, as if afraid of breaking something. "What do you want me to do to prove it?"

Ah. There it was.

Robbie's eyes focused on him again, and Sportacus saw clearly for the first time all the layers of suspicion built up in them. He also saw beneath those layers, the amount of hurt there was, and even deeper, that small piece of soul that was pleading like a child left alone in the dark: "_save me, please_".

"What do you want me to do?" he asked again. Robbie looked at him again for a moment.

"Kiss me then."

Under normal circumstances, Sportacus would have blushed at the blatant demand, and hesitated in doing so.

But these weren't normal circumstances at all.

He swallowed, and leaned down over Robbie, face inches from his. He waited one second, to see if there was a flicker of doubt in Robbie's eyes, fear, anything. If there had been, he would have asked if he was sure.

But there was nothing there.

He closed his eyes and lowered his face to Robbie's, and touched their lips together. The butterflies in his stomach had transformed into a flopping twisting coiled snake, and he could feel his hands shake harder. It was something that sent sparks to the ends of his toes. He pushed a little further, and felt himself relax, and felt Robbie relax under him too. Slightly emboldened, he let his fingers rub Robbie's shoulders slightly. He felt something ease up and melt in his chest, and he slowly attempted to deepen the kiss. He had never really done this before, so he wasn't sure he was doing it right, but it _felt_ right, so he continued.

He felt the lightest flutter in his stomach as Robbie started to kiss him back, hesitantly. Rewarding the man for even trying, Sportacus allowed his hands to travel upward and caress his neck lightly. This in turn made Robbie make a little noise of contentment against his will, and he arched up into Sportacus. The skin-to-skin contact nearly made Sportacus moan, but he held it back and continued letting his fingers roam. One seemed fascinated with Robbie's damp hair, which completely unraveled what was left of the style in it, and the other seemed content to travel down Robbie's arm and grab onto his hand. Robbie was responding more now, and feeling something wet against his lips, Sportacus opened his mouth.

He nearly lost his balance and collapsed entirely onto Robbie when he realized it was the man's tongue, and said appendage was currently inside his mouth and doing… _things_… he moaned.

'Does Robbie always taste this sweet?…' he thought dazedly, and broke away for air, his eyes feeling heavy. How strange…

"Huh?" Robbie looked confused as Sportacus swayed slightly, and looked… sleepy? "Sportacus? What's wrong?"

Sportacus smiled slightly, gradually leaning over until he was resting on his side.

"You taste like sugar," he murmured. "And you said my name right…"

Robbie cursed, which caused the half-asleep elf to giggle quietly. Residual sugar left in his mouth from the cake… he hadn't thought of that. He glanced at Sportacus, who looked like he might collapse into sleep at any moment. At least it hadn't been enough to send him into a complete sugar meltdown… Robbie sighed.

"Whatcha sighing for Robbie?" Sportacus yawned, and hugged the other man, cuddling up to him. Robbie's eyes widened slightly at the difference, but he brushed it off.

"You," he replied, poking the sleepy elf in the forehead. Sportacus blinked.

"Oh…" he said slowly. "'Cause I'm sleepy… dunno why…" he was fighting a losing battle with his eyelids.

"It was the sugar." Robbie told him. After another sleepy "oh" and a yawn, he was asleep curled into Robbie. Robbie tested the arms wrapped around him to see if they would budge, but all he got was a mumbled sound of protest from Sportacus, who gripped tighter. At the best interest of his lungs and ribs, Robbie let the elf use him like a warm teddy bear.

He looked at the sky through tree leaves above him, until eventually the activity of the day caught up to him and he joined Sportacus in sleep.

* * *

Stephanie strolled back to where the blanket was, arms full of flowers and humming a new song. She looked at the lake, and the lack of Sportacus disturbing its calm. In fact, it was too quiet… was something wrong? Her breath caught in her throat. No no no, nothing could happen . She went around the tree and looked at the blanket.

She sighed in relief. They were both fine. Nothing bad was going to happen to her again. She looked again at the two sleeping men and smiled. Sometimes she felt like their mother, or older sister. But that didn't stop her from feeling the both of them were pillars for her. As long as they were still standing, she would be fine. She started braiding flowers into Sportacus' hair, and after that she made flower crowns for the three of them, and placed them carefully on their heads. She smiled, proud of her work, then yawned. It had been a pretty exhausting day, and looking at them sleep had made her feel like taking a nap…

She crawled and squirmed her way in between them, closing her eyes. Robbie turned in his sleep, so his chest was against her back, and she snuggled against Sportacus. She felt more content and safe than she had in a long, long time.

* * *

AN:

Ahem. Explanations first. Yeah, Sportacus is totally an elf. He is. I have yet to see him, in any episode, without that hat firmly over the tips of his ears. And in the original plays/books, his name translated roughly to "sports elf". He also doesn't apparantly eat anything not made of plants, ever notice that? Fruits, vegetables, bread. He's essentially a vegetarian. Now, I'm not a fan of the "lolz, elves have magical powers and really long ears" thing. So really, I'm trying to stay with the idea that elves are just like humans, but with slight physical differences. Mildly pointed ears, shorter than average, and with a diet consisting of vegetation instead of, say, animal products. But this all comes into play in later chapters, so I may as well end that explanation.

Secondly, after extensive veiwing of the 1997 play Latibaer, I have come to the conclusion that Sportacus has an extremely strange mischievious side. If you have the opportunity, look it up on YouTube. It's... highly disturbing ("So, he's an elf, hm? Clothing, clothing... BRIGHT PRIMARY COLORS AND A FLOPPY HAT WITH A JINGLY BELL!") but watching him play mild tricks on everyone in town is... enlightening. Poor Icelandic 1997 Pixel/Goggi. But at any rate, I've just viewed that on YouTube, and I am VERY tempted to write more about this aspect of his character. We only see the mentor-figure and the innocent hero in the current LazyTown. All well and good, but I want to play!

Thirdly, I will admit to being influenced by the works of other people. I try very hard to avoid any scuffles with other authors, and I've rewritten and scrapped some things in order to do so. I have another SportaRobbie story, after all. It just... uses the same basic plot device as another author. Anyway, if the idea of Sportacus going into a kiss-induced sugar meltdown seems familiar, it's because another author has used it. Hopefully, I tweaked the idea enough to make it different, because the last thing I want to do is be accused of stealing things. I've already gone through that ordeal, thank you. Also, to give credit, that particular idea is in Taking The Fall by Razoth RedFire. If you haven't read that, go read it. Right now. I've read that beauty about 6 times through (and I should probably review...) and I hope they continue it soon.

Another concept was the carrot cake. YES, that is from a piece of fan art. I need to make something clear from the beginning here. This entire fic started out as a delicious idea I had while browsing through LazyTown fan art. There was a picture, and I don't recall the details, of Sportacus looking rather sad, while Stephanie was asleep, her head in his lap. The idea occured to me right then, for this fic. I'm really glad it's turned out the way it has so far. And yes, I do have... well, a decent aount more to go. It's been a busy weekend and I haven't written as much as I'd like to, so I'm a bit behind.

Now, explanations out of the way, I have a warning. For the next couple of chapters, there will be very little of Stephanie. And also, there will be a lemon, so this fic will jump to an M rating. Or, if I decide to, I'll post it on mediaminer and provide a link to those who request it. (I'm friendly, don't worry about emailing me.) Regardless, fair warnings are issued. After the next couple of chapters, Stephanie shall be back and in relative focus. I just felt I needed to get alot out of the way first.

And FINALLY (long AN this time DX ) I want people to keep in mind that this fic is a plaything for me. I'm not trying to be serious here. I'm developing my writing style further, and this is another tool. If you want to see how far I can progress while writing a fic, take a look at Lost And Found. That's my baby, and she still hums just as sweetly (if off-key).

NO MORE! I've bored you enough. Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Time To Get The Feeling

**Chapter 5: Time To Get The Feeling**

"Robbie?"

Robbie grumbled and curled up around his bowl of spilled popcorn more tightly. As usual, he had fallen asleep on his chair the night before. He had a bed… somewhere… but it always seemed such a hassle to go to it.

Besides, the thought of laying in a quiet dark room made him feel uneasy, now.

Sportacus poked his head out of the pipe and spotted Robbie in front of him, in his ridiculous pajamas. Sportacus rolled his eyes. He may sleep in his same outfit all the time, but at least it looked good on him. He didn't think _anyone_ could look great in that set of sleepwear Robbie had on.

'Too bad,' he thought as he jumped out of the pipe. 'Robbie looked really nice once he got out of those striped pants that go all the way up to his chest…' He blinked, then shook his head to get rid of the thoughts before they led anywhere. He had come down here because Robbie missed the invitation to lunch Sportacus had given him. He couldn't say he wasn't miffed to see Robbie doing nothing but sleeping when he had put so much effort into it… he had made sure it was even going to be at a place that Robbie might like. The Cheesecake Factory sounded scary at first, but when he checked it out it turned out to not be too bad. He couldn't eat a lot of the stuff on the menu, but… he'd be able to eat a good meal at least. And Robbie would be able to eat all the cake he wanted.

But they couldn't do that now, because the other man was still _sleeping_. Sportacus stood over the snoring man, blocking light. Robbie snorted in his sleep and shifted restlessly. Sportacus rolled his eyes again and carefully plucked the bowl of popcorn out of his hands, setting it down on the floor.

"Robbie, wake up."

"Nnnn," Robbie whined, trying to curl up further into the chair and sink more deeply into sleep again.

"Dun wanna… go 'way…"

Sportacus sighed.

"No Robbie, you need to wake up. I don't feel like playing."

"Nnnngh."

Sportacus put one hand on each armrest and leaned forward until his mouth was right above Robbie's ear.

"Wake up," he said, and gave the outer part of his ear one long, wet lick.

Robbie yelped, his eyes snapping open and arms flailing. He managed to grab a fistful of Sportacus' hair somehow during the course of this flailing, and when he did stop and look, he was greeted with a close-up view of a rather annoyed sports elf.

"Oh," he said, clearing his throat and releasing the man's hair. "It's you."

"What time is it Robbie?" Sportacus asked, straightening up and fixing his hair, fitting his hat back over it and adjusting his goggles.

"Huh? Don't tell me you woke me up just to ask what time it is."

"Do you even _have_ a clock?"

"What the heck are you talking about you crazy elf?"

Robbie suddenly felt tiny when the other man leveled a bored glare at him. It didn't make any sense, since he was actually taller than him, but there it was.

"So… you forgot."

"Eh? Would you just spit it out already!"

Robbie felt something pierce his heart at the disappointed look on Sportacus' face.

"I see," he said, and turned back to the pipe. That hurt. He tried really hard, and Robbie didn't even care. Well fine. That was fine. He'd just go back up to his air ship…

Of course, he knew he couldn't cry, even though his feelings were hurt. Too many people relied on him being in the right state of mind all the time. Maybe he'd just do some more sit ups…

Robbie felt something cold go down his spine. What did he do? The blue elf looked like someone had killed his puppy or dumped out all of his Sports Candy.

As Sportacus climbed slowly back into the pipe, it finally clicked in Robbie's head.

"SHIT!"

Sportacus startled so badly that he fell out of the pipe and onto his back. Robbie looked genuinely horrified, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out, not thinking. Panic started to flutter around in Robbie's chest as he caught the look Sportacus was regarding him with. He didn't want to lose him, didn't want the last person who cared about him to leave too, he _couldn't_, it would destroy what was left of Robbie Rotten. He started hyperventilating.

Sportacus sat up abruptly, eyes widening.

"Robbie! Breath!" he jumped to his feet, his crystal beeping, and rushed over to him, kneeling next to the chair and grabbing Robbie's hands, rubbing them.

"It's okay Robbie," he was saying over the man's fast breathing and gasping for air. "It's okay. Just breathe. In. Out. There we go. In. Out. Good, that's good, it's alright."

Slowly, Robbie was able to get enough air, but he was trembling slightly and Sportacus was doing his best to keep him calm. When Robbie's breathing finally went back to normal, he looked at Sportacus.

"I-I'm sorry," he said.

"Shh, it's fine."

"It's not!" he started trembling slightly again. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I, I fell asleep, and I didn't even think, I'm really sorry, I am…"

Sportacus paused for a second before getting to his feet and sitting on an armrest, hugging Robbie, who clung to him immediately.

"Don't leave," he heard whispered from Robbie. For being relatively weak, Sportacus thought, the man was certainly squeezing the air out of his lungs pretty quickly.

"I'm not leaving," Sportacus said, running his fingers through the man's heavily gelled hair and disrupting the style. He wasn't angry anymore, not after that. But still…

"Robbie?" he said, looking down at his head. "You don't normally sleep this late, do you?…"

Robbie loosened his hold on the other man and looked up.

"Why? What time is it?"

"It's three in the afternoon."

Robbie looked mildly surprised, then withdrew his arms from around Sportacus.

"Oh," he said quietly. "No…" He picked at the faux fur on his chair. Sportacus reached out and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look in his direction. Robbie looked slightly startled.

"Robbie, what's wrong? Are you feeling sick? I know you like to nap, but if you don't usually sleep this late…"

Robbie glanced away.

"It's nothing. I just couldn't get to sleep last night, that's all."

"Why not?"

Robbie shrugged, still not looking at him. He wasn't about to tell him he couldn't get to sleep because he kept feeling a phantom kiss, and kept shivering because he felt too cold. He had already gone so far as to have a panic attack in front of the man, he wouldn't humiliate himself further.

Sportacus sighed, and let go of Robbie's face.

"Alright," he said, and stood up from the chair's armrest, stretching. He was willing to stay still for both Stephanie and Robbie, but he had his limits. Swinging his arms slightly, he turned back to Robbie.

"So, you had enough sleeping for today?"

* * *

Robbie watched over the edge of his book as Sportacus played with the kids, Stephanie included. He couldn't help but smile at seeing the huge grin Sportacus had on, between ruffling hair-topped heads that only came up to his stomach, and dunking basketballs.

He felt a twinge of guilt go through him, thinking about how he could have had that smile all to himself for the afternoon if he had just gone to sleep earlier like he'd planned to. He sighed to himself. He was starting to think like the obnoxious yellow child.

"I'm gonna take a break guys!"

He glanced up from the book again to see Stephanie trot towards him, sipping water from a pink water bottle. She plopped down next to him and he couldn't help but feel the heat that radiated off of her from exercising. He frowned slightly. Was moving around supposed to do that to a person, or was she getting overheated from the sun? Stephanie noticed him studying her and she flashed him a smile.

"Hi Robbie!" she chirped.

"Hello," he muttered, staring at the diagram in his book again. There was a pause, filled in by the background chatter and laughter coming from the other kids and Sportacus.

"You know," she continued, sounding almost solemn. "Sportacus seemed kind of upset today."

She took note of Robbie's guilty flinch, and how he raised the book higher as if to shield or hide himself.

"But I guess that's okay," she said, turning to watch everyone play while she was catching her breath and refueling. "He can't be happy all the time after all."

"He should be," Robbie replied without thinking. The instant the words left his mouth, his eyes got wide and he glanced at Stephanie to see if she caught it.

She was grinning at him like the proverbial cat that ate the canary.

"Don't you da-!"

"Okay guys I'm ready to play again!"

And she leapt up and ran towards the group before his ill-timed lunge could catch her. He watched helplessly as she rejoined the game, and during a lull in play, tugged on Sportacus' hand, had him lean down, and she whispered in his ear.

Sportacus looked in his direction with wide eyes.

Robbie thought he would die on the spot. He could feel the hot blush spreading up into his face, and he hid behind the book. Humiliating. That's what it was. Absolutely and completely humiliating. He might as well buy the man roses and wine.

He paused that train of thought. Did alcohol have sugar in it? He wasn't sure…

Regardless! He stayed hidden behind the book while play resumed and Sportacus continued playing like nothing had happened. Robbie considered slipping away and going back home, just to get away from it, but then he thought of how Sportacus might react to that, and the thought of the blue elf's face crumpling in disappointment made him stay rooted to the spot.

* * *

It was getting dark and the children were getting tired by the time the playing stopped. Sportacus gave Stephanie a hug before watching her run off with Trixie for a sleepover. Before she ran off, she glanced at Robbie, then at Sportacus, and mouthed 'good luck' at him. She giggled and ran before he could recover. Sportacus shook his head. For being only eight… no, nine years old, she was already a handful. Once the kids were all home safely, Sportacus looked at Robbie out of the corner of his eye. The man was still sitting there, hiding behind the thick book. He smiled slightly in the evening light, and did cartwheels away from view.

Robbie abruptly looked up from his book. Where had he?… Had he just left? Robbie's first feeling was one of relief that he hadn't been confronted about what he said. But it was quickly getting crowded out by a burning feeling in the pit of his stomach and a small voice in the back of his head.

'_Why… why did he leave?_'

Robbie swallowed back the feeling and closed his book. Even though the sun was still going down, he felt like it was getting colder.

He yelped when he felt a warm breath on the back of his neck and two arms encircle him, pinning his own arms to his sides.

"That was really nice," Sportacus said from behind him. Robbie blushed heavily and shivered at the warm breath on his ear.

"W-what?"

Sportacus chuckled, and Robbie thought he might melt into the ground.

"What you said to Stephanie today while we were playing," he continued, though he knew Robbie remembered it perfectly. "It was really nice. To know you think that, I mean…" On an impulse, he planted a small kiss on the tip of Robbie's ear, and he blushed slightly when he heard a strangled whimper come from the man. He shifted slightly, fidgeting. It felt like he should do something else, but he couldn't figure out what.

"Hey, it's almost dinner time," he said finally. "Um… do you want to maybe have dinner with me?"

The butterflies in his stomach were just about to burst out of him when Robbie finally responded.

"Y-yeah… okay."

Sportacus smiled and kissed the back of Robbie's neck impulsively.

"My place or yours?"

* * *

"I told you not to touch anything!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Robbie stalked past him to turn off the half-finished machine that was beeping like mad in the pile of other half-finished machines. Truthfully, the majority of them scared Sportacus. They looked like they might snap his fingers off.

Of course, that hadn't stopped him from poking at one curiously.

Sportacus peeked into the under-used kitchen of Robbie Rotten and saw something steaming on the stovetop. He glanced around uneasily. It looked like half of the equipment had probably been built by Robbie himself. And normally that was decent, because the man was a genius with machinery, but in this case it looked rather haphazard and unsteady. He probably didn't use it much, after all…

Hearing Robbie curse at the beeping which was persisting, Sportacus carefully stepped into the room. Curiosity won out over caution, and he started opening cabinets.

Disappointingly, most of them were bare, but there were a few half-empty boxes of sugary cereal, and some things that might actually pass as almost healthy. There was a bag of uncooked spaghetti in one cabinet. He glanced over at the steaming pot on the stove. Could that be what Robbie was cooking? He turned to another cabinet, a very large one. He tilted his head curiously at it and swung it open.

A loud scream interrupted Robbie from shoving the now-silent machine back into the pile. He bolted up and scrambled to the kitchen, swearing to himself if the elf burned himself on the stove he'd put a tracking collar on him with a mild shock for whenever the thought "I wonder what would happen if I touched this?" popped into his empty jock head.

He skidded into the kitchen and managed to not injure himself while doing so. Only to be greeted by the sight of a petrified Sportacus, shin-deep in a pile of spilled sugar from the mountain of sugar sacks piled in the cabinet. Sportacus slowly turned his head to look at Robbie, his blue eyes as wide as they could get.

"Help," he squeaked. Robbie clenched his fists, breathed in and out very slowly three times, and stomped over to the man.

"I thought I told you," he grabbed his arm and started pulling, and Sportacus clung to him. "To not touch anything," and Robbie pulled, straining, while Sportacus was still frozen in terror. "But you just go and poke your pointy little ears into everything." With one last strain, Sportacus was dragged out of the mound of sugar, and he scrambled further away from it, eyeing it distrustfully from the other side of the room. Robbie tapped his foot in an irritated manner, and when Sportacus caught it he blushed slightly in embarrassment and smiled nervously.

"Out of the kitchen," Robbie said. Sportacus looked at him like a scolded child.

"But Robbie-"

"Out. And I swear, if you touch anything else, I will lace the dinner with so much sugar you'll be in a coma for months."

Sportacus paled and darted out of the room.

* * *

"You don't have a table?"

"Oh, sure. It's just an _invisible_ table. Lost it years ago."

Sportacus scratched his head and finally just sat on the floor while Robbie brought out bowls. He gave a fork to Sportacus along with the bowl, before plopping down in front of him and digging into his own bowl.

Sportacus went slightly green as he looked at the… meal. Robbie had warned him he didn't really have healthy food, and that the meal would probably just be something small anyway, nothing fancy…

But… macaroni and cheese? Sportacus swallowed shakily and glanced up at Robbie, who was steadily wolfing his down. It wouldn't kill him to eat it… and Robbie would get upset if he didn't…

He closed his eyes tightly and started shoveling it into his mouth as fast as possible and swallowing without chewing. He knew it was bad for him to do that… but maybe not as bad as the meal itself might be. Already he felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. He set the bowl down moments after Robbie did. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"… We suck at this, don't we?" Robbie asked suddenly, looking at his empty bowl.

"Yeah, we do," Sportacus laughed. To his surprise and relief, Robbie laughed with him.

Gradually, the laughter died down and Sportacus felt his gut twist uncomfortably again. He leaned back slightly, feeling vaguely ill. It probably wasn't anything bad, he supposed, just that his stomach was not used to the massive amount of processed cheese. He shuddered slightly. Robbie was looking at him skeptically.

"What's wrong with you?" Robbie finally asked, breaking the silence. "You look like you're gonna be sick."

"No, no," he replied, smiling somewhat shakily. "I'm fine. It's just, ah, my stomach. I'll be fine." He tried to sit up again, but his stomach told him in plain terms that that was out of the question. Robbie narrowed his eyes.

"I thought I told you to stop lying," he said bluntly, standing up and moving over next to the mildly pale Sportacus, hoisting him up onto his feet.

"I already told you," Sportacus muttered as he got his feet under him. "I don't lie."

"Then why do you look like you're about to keel over? Did you get any sugar in your system?"

Sportacus would've teased him about his worrying, if he didn't feel like he might be sick.

"Okay," he said after a minute under Robbie's glare. "The food was… it wasn't healthy, okay, but it was fine, there was nothing wrong, it's just-"

"If it's making you sick and not me, I can safely assume it's not the food's fault then."

"Y-yeah." Robbie was guiding him across the room by the arm. "It's just me. I… I'm not used to anything but Sports Candy and healthy stuff like that, so it… my stomach doesn't like it…"

"Uh-huh," Robbie said, noting that mentally. He opened a door half-hidden by mounds of junk, and led Sportacus in, flipping on a light. Sportacus looked around the room as Robbie let go of his arm to clear off a bed. His bed. He had hardly ever used it, preferring the chair and the hum of the television left on to the quiet of the bedroom. When he finally got the bed cleared off, he turned back to Sportacus.

Only to find the man picking up picture frames on the shelves.

"What did I tell you about touching things!"

Sportacus jumped, startled, and hurriedly set the photo back in place.

"Sorry."

Robbie huffed in an annoyed manner and motioned to the bed. Sportacus looked at him uncomprehendingly.

"Lay down, Sportakook."

"But… why?"

"Because I don't want you getting sick all over my floor from moving around, that's why!"

"Oh…"

Sportacus obeyed and laid down on the large bed. It figured Robbie's bed would be so big. He probably liked to sleep sprawled out. This made Sportacus wonder why he slept in a chair so often. Before he could voice this question, Robbie sat on the other side of the bed, cross-legged and facing him.

"So," Robbie started. "Is that an elf thing?" Sportacus blinked.

"Huh?"

"Your _diet_, Sportaflop. I've never seen you eat anything but all those stupid fruits and vegetables." He made a disgusted face. "And bread, I suppose. No human can survive on just that stuff. It'd be a miserable existence anyway. So is it an elf thing then?"

"Oh," Sportacus said, mildly surprised. He wasn't used to talking about this stuff. "Um… pretty much… I just usually eat plants or things made from plants… I mean, I can eat other things, so long as they don't have sugar in them, but… my body doesn't like it too much." He smiled apologetically to Robbie, who rolled his eyes.

"You could have told me that before, you know." He said. "It would have saved me the trouble of having to clean off the bed."

"Yeah," Sportacus replied, seeing an opportunity. "Speaking of that, how come you sleep in your chair instead of in this bed? It seems comfy enough," and he wiggled around slightly for emphasis on how comfy it was. Robbie sighed and didn't look at him.

"It's hard to fall asleep in here," he said. Sportacus looked at him carefully, recognizing when Robbie was getting serious.

"How come?"

Robbie shrugged, still not looking at him.

"Too quiet. And it gets dark."

"You're afraid of the dark?" the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"You tell anyone I swear I'm going to replace all your sports candy with cupcakes, and don't think I won't, beca-"

"I won't I won't!" Sportacus assured him, holding his hands up defensively. Robbie fell silent, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Really though," Sportacus continued, ignoring the look. "It does seem like the bed would be a lot more comfortable. I would think you of all people would like it, being able to nap all day in this." Robbie snorted, but Sportacus caught the sad longing look that flashed on his face. He sat up.

"You do want to sleep here," he stated. Robbie moved closer and tried to push him back down the mattress.

"If your stomach is bothering you so much, why is it so difficult for you to keep _still_?"

Sportacus frowned up at the man and grabbed him, pulling him down fully onto the bed too.

"It's better for you to sleep in a bed. Everyone knows that," Sportacus said, keeping Robbie down with one arm. "So, in order for you to do that, I have to help you, right? It's my job to make sure everyone is safe, healthy, and happy. That means you too." Robbie scoffed.

"I'll take up all your kitten-saving time."

"No, she only gets stuck during the afternoon. I already saved her two times today, so she won't need it anymore."

Robbie stared at him incredulously. Sportacus smiled.

"Now, first step is your fear of the dark."

Robbie tried to sit up, but the arm across his chest kept him pinned.

"You _could_ leave the light on, but I don't think that's very healthy either…"

"Sportacus, what are you…"

"So, we're just going to have to get you used to it."

Robbie's eyes widened, and Sportacus reached behind his back, producing a small ball.

"I'm going to turn the lights off now Robbie."

"No, wai-!"

The ball smacked into the light switch and the bulb in the ceiling went dark. Sportacus physically felt the way Robbie tensed up under his arm, and he gently moved closer to Robbie, touching his face.

"Robbie, it's okay. I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen, see?"

He felt Robbie start trembling slightly, and he frowned, reaching behind him to get another ball to switch the lights back on before Robbie went into another panic attack. But before he could, he felt Robbie turn onto his side and curl up against him, clinging to his vest and shirt. Sportacus paused in surprise for a moment, before rubbing the other man's back comfortingly.

"See, it's not so bad. And as long as I'm talking, it's not quiet, right? Say something Robbie. It'll help."

He felt the man shudder once, before he tried to talk.

"It's too dark. It's… I feel like there's something watching me."

Sportacus smiled in the dark.

"Besides me, no. These ears aren't just for show, Robbie. The only thing in here is you and me, and all I can hear is us breathing and talking. Don't worry, you're safe. My crystal would go off if you were in trouble, remember?" He felt Robbie nod slightly, and he pressed his lips against the man's forehead briefly. He felt Robbie relax minutely. Sportacus yawned. He wondered what time it was. The sun went down at six, it had taken an hour or more to make dinner… was it 8:08 already? He wished there was a clock…

"Sportacus?"

He squeezed Robbie briefly, and the man pressed more against him.

"Yes?"

"Could…" Robbie sounded hesitant, so Sportacus ran a hand through his hair in a comforting gesture.

"Could you maybe… stay? Just for tonight I mean."

The butterflies came back into Sportacus' stomach. Robbie wanted him to stay?…

"Yeah. I'd love to Robbie."

He heard Robbie sigh in relief, and then felt the warm breath ghost against his skin. He shivered slightly, feeling too warm all of a sudden.

Robbie's arm slowly detached itself from his clothes, and hesitantly slid around his back. Sportacus thought his heart might tap-dance out of his chest. This was… Robbie hugging him? Robbie Rotten trying to initiate contact and affection? It was almost too much to take. He suddenly felt an overwhelming rush of affection for the man, and a desire to just meld together. He squirmed, and planted another kiss on the side of Robbie's face in delight.

Robbie, at this moment, was torn between sheer terror and utter joy. At any moment he half-expected Sportacus to decide he wasn't worth his time, and walk out. But then he also kept reminding himself, if that was going to happen, he may as well get as much as he could out of what time there was. Truthfully, he felt like he was getting far too much comfort out of listening to his heart beat and steady breathing.

"Mmmm," Sportacus hummed in contentment. Robbie looked at him through the darkness.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," Sportacus replied easily. "I just like this."

Robbie felt the blush rise to his face. The elf was too damn straight-forward and innocent.

"Really?" he found himself asking.

"Mm-hm," he felt Sportacus nod. "It feels nice. You're warm. And I just… like being like this. You smell nice."

"Yeah, well, you smell like… sports equipment and sweat."

Sportacus laughed.

"I do not!"

"You do," Robbie assured him, nodding. He enjoyed teasing the blue elf, when he wasn't afraid of losing him. "You smell like you haven't showered all day."

By now Sportacus was well awake, even if it was past his usual bedtime.

"Oh yeah?" he countered. "Well… you smell like… like sports candy!"

He sensed rather than saw the way Robbie's face contorted in a mixture of indignant horror.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do!" Sportacus grinned. "Like coconut! Coconut and…" he paused, trying to identify it. "Lime!"

There was a pause.

"… Coconut is a sports candy?"

"Oh… yes, sort of. It's not really a fruit or vegetable, it's a nut, but it qualifies." There was more silence.

"It figures," he finally heard Robbie mutter. "The little pink child feeding me cake with coconut in it… guh."

Sportacus paused, and fidgeted slightly.

"But… but you liked it, right? It didn't taste bad?"

"…. No, I guess it wasn't _too_ bad. I could stomach it…"

"You see? Even if you don't like sports candy all by itself, some of it isn't so bad, right?"

"Ugh. Don't push it, Sportaflop."

"Says the man who smells like sports candy," Sportacus teased and poked Robbie in the side playfully. He felt the resulting squirm from Robbie, who immediately curled to protect his sides. He was extremely ticklish there. Sportacus grinned to himself and decided not to incite a tickle fight in the dark. It could get dangerous. He sat up instead, and tossed a ball to the light switch, which flicked on the lights. Robbie groaned and flinched, grabbing a pillow and pushing it into his face to block out the light.

"You're right though," Sportacus said, picking up the pillow from Robbie's face. "I forgot I had to shower today. Thanks for reminding me." Robbie looked flustered.

"You said you'd stay!"

"I don't know if you want me using your bathroom, Robbie…"

"You're right," he replied, nodding and looking thoughtful. Sportacus cringed slightly. He didn't have to agree _that_ fast.

"Alright," Robbie said after a moment, sitting up on the bed. "You go up to your blimp-" "-it's an air ship Robbie-" "-right, the blimp you live in, and you wash up there. But I don't feel like waiting around for you to come back, so I'm coming too."

* * *

AN:

I'm cutting it off here, because afterwards it involves a lemon. I'll give anyone who asks (I have an email people!) the link to it. Otherwise, you can find me on AFF. net under the name Konora. Though... give me a day to update that one to this part. I've been kind of busy. Side note, I saw one of my reviewers on LJ. I nearly squealed.

I took liberties with Sportacus and his elf-ness. Oh well. If people can make Robbie a vampire, I can damn well make theories about foreign elves. Ah, also, when I posted the last chapter, I had only seen the original original play, Afram Latibaer. (No, I cannot make those fancy foreign symbols on the computer.) Afram Latibaer scares me very much, but it's amusing to watch Magnus jump around. I'd say he's almost more active than the current Sportacus. And he certainly scares many, many more people. Ugh. But! After I posted the last chapter, I went and watched Glanni Glaeper i Latibaer. HOLY CRAP FULL OF AWESOME. I'd seen clips of course, but in its entirity? Oooh, it made all the difference. I was horribly ignorant of his elf-magic that makes flowers grow. I think. I'm not entirely sure what it does, or WHY Glanni felt the need to poison them. Rivalry lolz. Though, he was rather ignorant of Sportacus (I cannot for the life of me spell his Icelandic name, so I use Sportacus) until the very end. In which Sportacus just pops up out of NOWHERE and terrorizes the frantic Glanni by grinning at him and going "Hellooo!"repeatedly as he prances around and Glanni calls for his mom. PRICELESS. And excuse me, MAYOR IN A BUNNY SUIT! Pwn. The only thing is, it doesn't have enough of Magnus' awesome. And another thing. The fart jokes are so friggen hilarious. I nearly had a heart attack multiple times due to the general all-around AWESOME of the play. Jives annoys me to some extent, however. Damn Jives. "Yo yo yo yo Zig-gy!"

Now, back to the fic itself! Um um... I'm totally writing 5 different fics at once now. WHY, I do not know. I scare myself. I feel like throwing a pity party. They aren't readable. I feel ashamed and exctited. Two of them are... complete drivel that I'll probably post on when they're finished. Ew. At any rate, calming down, I have to say this chapter was rather odd. Whyyy did I make Robbie have a panic attack? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me anymore. Things are starting to... blur together. It's dangerous for me to have this many ideas all crowding for attention at once. I'm even tempted to write a secent Pixel/Stephanie fic. Are they hot together? Oh yes they are. Then again, Pixel/Goggi is hot just by himself. Regardless! In this chapter, you can totally see Sportacus loves being around Robbie. Sports candy scented or no. And as to Robbie's behavior... I think I wrote this at a time when I was heavily analyzing him and came to the conclusion that the current Robbie Rotten is like the personification of all bad childhood traits. He's selfish, stubborn, lazy, and generally doesn't get along well with others. Among other things. So, I think that may be why he comes off as a little childish here.

We're in the thick of things being totally not centered on Stephanie. But we'll get back to her. Did I mention I have no idea where this is going? YAYZORS! And um... as to elf magic... I've determined I'm bringing that in somewhere. No friggen idea where, but it's getting in. Am I excited? Oh damn yes I'm excited.

Thank you for all the delicious reviews!


	6. Good To Be Bad

A quick interruption before the chapter. If anyone wanted chapter six (the lemon) and either didn't email or never got an answer from me, email me.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 7: Good To Be Bad**

Stephanie turned around at the shocked yelp from Sportacus. The three of them had been having dinner, this time at Robbie's house, Stephanie helping cook the healthier parts of it since Robbie refused to. He had spent most of the time sitting in his recliner and sulking about being kicked out of his own kitchen. But after that, dinner was served. It was pretty simple, being that she was by no means a cook, but she cooked spaghetti and heated up some tomato sauce and biscuits. She had been pretty proud of herself, and practically glowed when Sportacus ruffled her pink hair and said she did an excellent job and he was sure it was delicious. Robbie even ate some (though he mostly just picked at it and made faces). So, all in all, she thought it had gone well.

That was, until Robbie's cake making machine sparked dangerously (Robbie had been trying to get it to make more than one flavor, for variety, prior to dinner) and suddenly shot out about five gigantic slices of frosting-coated cake. Sportacus had, of course, jumped up at the first spark.

And that was when Stephanie turned around, hands over her head, and a cake smacked into her back rather harmlessly. She heard the yelp and risked turning around to see what was wrong.

Due to rather unfortunate timing, Sportacus had caught cake full in the face. Which, by itself, was not a huge deal, as it had happened before to no huge consequence. Unfortunately, he also happened to have his mouth open. Which was something more of a problem.

Stephanie yelled and moved to grab his arm as he abruptly went slack and started crashing to the floor. Robbie beat her to it however, and caught Sportacus' unconscious form and dragged it over to the recliner. He glanced at the cake machine (which was still shooting out cake and fizzing with electricity by now) and then over at Stephanie.

"Pinky!" he yelled over the clanging hissing machine. "Clean the elf up while I fix this!" and he stalked off to the workbench, grabbing various objects. Stephanie nodded and raced off to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and running half of it under the water before rushing back out to Sportacus. She started wiping the frosting off of his face, and especially from around his mouth. She bit her lip and tried to not worry, but she didn't know how much sugar he had actually gotten in his mouth before snapping it closed at the last moment. She just cleaned the last of it off and was drying his face when she herd the banging from over by the culprit machine. She glanced over.

Apparently, Robbie Rotten's tool of choice was a rather large hammer. Parts flew everywhere until eventually the machine stopped working and gave a last sputter and died. Robbie let the hammer drop from his hands, panting and hunched over. He looked up from the remains of his machine over to Stephanie and Sportacus, and straightened up, walking over.

"He owes me a Cake-o-matic5000 now," he grumbled. Stephanie raised an eyebrow at this, an unconscious imitation of the same look she had seen on _his_ face multiple times, and wondered to herself how in the world that made any logical sense.

Robbie looked at the unconscious Sportacus for a moment before abruptly snatching his hat and goggles off. They were splattered with frosting.

"I'm going to go wash this," he said, starting to walk towards another room. He stopped when he felt a tug on the back of his vest, and he glanced back at Stephanie's pouting face.

"What am I supposed to do? It's boring down here Robbie," she complained. He sighed and tossed her the goggles.

"You can help clean these then."

* * *

"You know," Stephanie said, rubbing the lens of the goggles with a cloth. "I still think it's really cool Sportacus is actually an elf. I've never known anybody who was an elf before! I wonder if he has any magic powers?"

Robbie rolled his eyes and snorted, moving to sit on top of the washing machine that was spinning the hat around.

"He's the weirdest elf I've ever heard of," Robbie added. "He only eats plants, for one. And he doesn't even _dress_ like an elf."

Stephanie nodded in agreement. "That's why it's so surprising. I thought elves had little bells on their shoes and stuff! Or at least on their hat… though, I guess granting wishes is a power, right? When he lost his crystal he said he'd grant a wish to whoever found it."

Robbie nodded absently, pulling the hat from the washing machine and tossing it into the dryer. Stephanie eyed the process in what he thought was an odd way, and after he set the dryer to the right temperature and started it, he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against it, giving her a look.

"Alright Pinky," he said. "What are you up to?" She looked away and wiggled her fingers in a less than honest gesture.

"Nothing," she said, and grinned a little, glancing back at Robbie.

"Whatever it is," he interrupted. "I want in on it." She kicked her feet happily and grinned.

* * *

Sportacus groaned and sat up slowly, blinking away grogginess. Stupid sugar… He rubbed his eyes and looked around. Robbie and Stephanie were at a cleared-off workbench, and Robbie was showing her how to put together a simple machine. She looked a little bored with it, but she feigned interest for Robbie's sake, as he was getting rather enthusiastic about it. He shook his head, but froze when he heard something. Robbie looked up from what he was doing.

"Finally awake? Took you long enough," he commented dryly. Stephanie bounced over to him and hugged him, helping him get out of the orange chair. His muscles were sore from staying still for too long, and he stretched them out once he was on his feet. He did a little cartwheel.

He stopped moving. There was that sound again… it sounded like it was right near his head… He whipped his head around, trying to find it. The jingling taunted him further. He looked incredulously at Robbie, who had started laughing but then was trying very hard to suppress it, and then at Stephanie, who was grinning up at him, but with a look in her eyes that he was sure she only got when giving Robbie disguised sports candy.

"What… what did you guys do?"

"_I_ didn't do anything," Robbie said defensively, but he still looked far too amused for it to have any truth behind it. He looked back down at Stephanie, but every time he moved, that jingling sound went off by his ear. It was driving him crazy. He looked down, then twitched at the resulting sound. He put his hand to the side of his face, and Stephanie bolted, running for the pipe that led outside and giggling madly the entire time. He watched her go, mouth open wide. Why was she… His hand encountered a small metal object, and he pulled on it, taking off his hat with it.

At that moment, Robbie made a run for it too, and followed Stephanie out, giggling in much more _manly_ sense (he liked to think so anyway). Sportacus watched him escape, gaping openly. What was going on? He looked down at his hat and examined it. Was that…?

"GUYS!" he yelled, and jumped after them, determined to catch one of the two would-be tricksters.

"Wait just a second! _Who put the bell on my hat!_"

* * *

AN:

Short chapter, because I'm looking at what I've written and after a moment, throwing up my hands and screaming "I HAVE NO PLOT!" and startling my room mate.

Okay. The bell on his hat is, yes, a reference to play-Sportacus (whose name I do not attempt to spell) and I promised Kami-chan I would put it in. I think it's rather cute, if entirely pointless. Hmm. Yay for filler!

I had an interesting review that suggested something for the elf-magic (though, I've just finished writing the first incident of it). M-preg? I've never done that before. It's a very tempting offer, because damn if I don't love doing something first. But then on the other hand, I mulled it over, and realized I can not for the life of me write either one of them pregnant. I can't do it. Sportacus pregnant would probably drive him insane, just because the very process of being pregnant is all kinds of unhealthy. How would he do backflips everywhere? He couldn't. And Robbie... Robbie is slightly more feasible, but the man dislikes children. He tolerates Stephanie and likes her to some degree, but he's not inclined to coo over a baby or such. Perhaps another author shall write of it. I just can't. Besides, trying to imagine what the combined genetic material of Sportacus and Robbie would look like makes my hands spasm violently, as if saying "if you force us to write that, we will quite literally detach ourselves from your horrible, horrible mind."

So, as interesting and tempting as the idea is, I will decline.

An interesting thing to keep in mind though is the belief that elves give some _extremely_ good sex. Reportedly. But then again they're also reportedly not too big on fidelity. So uh... Sportacus is special, I assume. This blending of the two versions is tricky, but I'm trying. So bear with me guys! I have to think of some other decent elf traits and magic, besides making flowers grow pretty. Hm. He _does_enjoy nature...

Well, you'll have to wait anyway. Until I figure out what the damn _plot_ is for this thing. Urgh. I need a direction. Kami-hopper, you distract me way too much. Stop putting delicious ideas into my head.

I actually have about... three more fics in the works? I can't remember. One I'm seriously excited about. It involves an invention gone wrong. It has no name, but I've dubbed it "The Trust Gun". You can imagine what fun shall be had. The other that I can remember... well, shall only be put up on Adult Fan Fiction. Haha. I blame Kami again.

The trust gun was actually inspired by a dream I had. Yay!

Anyway, enjoy this little chapter and leave a review please. It lets me know I'm doing a decent job.


	7. Teamwork, Do It Together!

**Chapter 8: Teamwork, Do It Together!**

"Robbie, listen."

"I'm not going to!"

"I'm just trying to-"

"LA LA LA!"

Sportacus threw his hands in the air in frustration and paced. He was _trying_ to get Robbie to listen to him about being a better role model for Stephanie. He could already see the slipping influence he had over her decisions on whether to be good or not. It worried him, because he didn't want to her to get into trouble.

It wasn't fair that she stopped talking to him when he grounded her for playing pranks on people with Trixie. He was only trying to help.

Logically, it was Robbie's fault. She was starting to imitate Robbie in odd ways, reading books more than playing outside, that arching eyebrow thing whenever she thought something was strange, and more worryingly, she was gaining a reputation for trouble, at school especially. Her grades were still good, but she was getting more and more introverted. Ms. Busybody was the only other adult besides Robbie that he talked to at all in the town, and she had told him that it was just a phase, and Stephanie was just being mildly rebellious because she was getting closer to being a teenager.

Her next statement about the teenage years making this stage seem like a bright sunny day in spring, did nothing to ease his worrying however.

So the next step was getting Robbie to help. Which he refused to do without a fight. Sportacus ground his teeth in frustration and smoothed out his mustache, a habit he had whenever he was getting stressed or thinking too hard. This was serious, and Robbie was being stubborn. He knew the man cared about Stephanie, maybe not in a fatherly sense or anything of that nature, but perhaps as a friend or older brother. He should be helping.

"Robbie, come on," he started.

"Not listening!" Robbie interrupted, clamping hands over his ears and turning away. "I don't have anything to do with whatever she's done, so leave me out of it Sportakook!"

Sportacus lost it at that moment. He grabbed the man by the back of his vest and spun him around.

"Robbie, _listen_."

A shiver went through Robbie and he looked down at the frowning face of an annoyed Sportacus. He swallowed nervously and let his hands drop from over his ears.

Sportacus cringed inwardly at the sudden response. Robbie was upset now, and that was never a good thing. He sighed, and reached out, grabbing hold of Robbie's hand.

"Come on," he said, and led a now-quiet Robbie over to the orange shag chair. He had Robbie sit in the chair, while he simply perched on a table cluttered with instruments that Robbie had left out.

"Look, it's just…" he started, then started to run a hand through his hair, stopping to yank off the hat when it got in his way. "I need your help with Stephanie again." He looked up, but Robbie was paying attention, though he looked wary. He felt something twinge regretfully inside him. He'd make it up to Robbie later.

"I think she's… starting to try and imitate you. But it's getting her in trouble Robbie, and I just want to help, but she won't let me!" He ran a hand through his hair again, frustrated. "But I think she'll listen to you." He didn't add that it made him feel less important to her. "And I just… I want her to be happy and safe, and she's trying so hard _not_ to be! Please, Robbie?"

Robbie shuddered at that pleading look in those glacier-blue eyes that pinned him. Of course he couldn't say no. Not when saying no would totally destroy the man.

Plus, he was distracted by that damnable hair again.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll… _talk_ to her then."

Sportacus instantly lightened, but he didn't bound over and hug the breath out of Robbie this time. He just looked at him softly and smiled, thankful. Robbie avoided the gaze after a moment.

It was a million times better than any hug.

* * *

"What did you _do_ to her?"

Sportacus blinked as Robbie came stalking over to him while Stephanie walked away from the bench where she and Robbie had been talking, to go hang out with her friends.

She had suddenly switched from calling it "playing" to "hanging out". Sportacus, for the life of him, could not figure it out.

"Huh?"

"She's got an edge on her now," Robbie explained, looking vaguely disturbed about the whole ordeal. "She's gotten tricky. She didn't get it from _me_, if that's what you're thinking. But she definitely is trying to copy me. Frankly, it's creepy." Sportacus chuckled a little at the disturbed look on Robbie's face.

"I told you," he said. "You're like her new role model." He trailed off slightly at that, and his smile slipped a little. He was so used to her only liking him… it hurt a little. He shook it off quickly and grabbed Robbie's hand.

"Come on, I want to show you something," he said. Robbie followed, confused, but without much fuss. He complained when he had to climb the ladder up to the air ship, but he did it anyway.

Sportacus jumped in after Robbie, shutting the door with a verbal command.

"Well?" Robbie demanded, tapping a foot (after making sure there were no floor buttons anywhere near him). Sportacus smiled a little, and Robbie raised an eyebrow at the light blush on the elf's face.

"You have to close your eyes first," Sportacus said slyly. Robbie huffed and did so, saying that if it was a trick, there'd be hell to pay. Sportacus just laughed and made him promise not to peek.

After a moment, there was a tugging on the front of his vest.

"I need you to walk," Sportacus explained. Robbie balked slightly. He didn't like the idea of walking around blind, least of all in the air ship. He shifted uncertainly.

"You trust me?" Sportacus asked. Robbie nearly opened his eyes then, and a shudder went though him. Hearing the same words echoed back to him as the ones spoken on that night months ago now… he tried to keep himself under control. It probably meant nothing. He licked his lips in nervousness and nodded. He let Sportacus lead him across the room, and he heard a soft woosh before Sportacus instructed him to sit down. He did, carefully, and felt the mattress underneath him. He furrowed his eyebrows together.

"Sporta-"

He got interrupted by a pair of lips on his own, silencing him. He opened his eyes then, and saw Sportacus was leaning over him, giving him what was possibly the sweetest kiss of his lifetime. He exhaled slowly and let his eyes close again, returning the kiss slowly. After a minute or two, Sportacus finally leaned back and broke the kiss, feeling extremely content. He sat down next to Robbie before his knees could start wobbling.

"I wanted to thank you for talking to Stephanie," he explained. Robbie watched as the other man fidgeted. "So I thought… maybe…" It was fascinating for Robbie, to watch the blush deepen on the elf's face. "I could say how much I appreciated it by… doing what you did, before…"

Robbie's eyes widened. Was that… an offer? He bit his lip. He didn't want to ruin it.

"Don't do it just because you want to thank me," he muttered. Sportacus scooted closer and leaned against him.

"I'm not," Sportacus said quietly. "I… I want to." Robbie glanced at him, and felt warm all over at the almost shy look Sportacus was giving him.

"I…" Sportacus continued. "I want you to feel good too."

Robbie felt blood rushing to both ends of his body and it left him feeling light-headed. He swayed slightly and Sportacus reached out to steady him. He stabilized after a bit, and Sportacus used that opportunity kiss him again. Robbie's eyes slid closed as he relaxed into it, and Sportacus pushed forward slightly, gently pushing him back onto the bed. When his back hit the mattress, Robbie opened his eyes.

He'd have to help out more often with the little pink sprite, he thought dazedly as Sportacus began working on the buttons of his vest.

* * *

AN:

Soooo. Another short chapter. I've come to a point (AGAIN) where it'd be just fine to end this. And with... how many is it now, three? other fics staring me in the face, it's becoming increasingly tempting to wrap it up. But there's this urge to have a large conflict, something big... maybe. Maybe. I need to think it over. It can't be all roses and daisies forever. This is going completely out of my comfort zone as a writer. I don't DO fluff, unless there's something wrong first. Angst, then fluff. I can't... I can't keep up this _extended fluff_ for very long. I just won't.

So yeah. There's a couple more updates ready to go after this. I'm going to start trying to inject conflict after that point. Ths story desperately needs it. I can tell.

There's no lemon after this, simply because I don't want this fic to be too lemon-tastic. I could easily rework the chapters and put the "lemon" chapter on this site, but... the rating would be bumped to M if I did that. Tsk. So, I'm not sure. However, there's a later point where I might work in the elfness again. and at that point, oh yes indeed there shall be a lemon. but it's not going to be for a good long while.

AUGH, WHY AM I WRITING SO MUCH FLUFF?!

Someone put me out of my misery. I feel cheapened as a writer. I don't do my writing justice. Well... well, I have to. So... I will. I can't promise you'll like it. I'm feeling distinctly _Coyote _today. Destroyer of civilization and all.

Anyway, this chapter marks Stephanie coming back into somewhat of a focus. And with what I'm _thinking_ about doing, she'll be slammed back into the foreground. Delicious stuff. I just need to think on how to pull it off. Or I could just slop it together as usual. Either way works!

As always, please review!


	8. It's a Great Big Beautiful Day

**Chapter 9: It's a Great Big Beautiful Day!**

"But that's not fair!" Stephanie wailed, stomping her foot on the pavement. Robbie shrugged, not caring one bit.

"Too bad," he said. "That's the verdict."

"But I told Trixie I could go over to her house tonight!"

"Without asking Sportacus first? My, we _are_ getting bold."

"It's still not fair!" she pouted, crossing her arms and kicking a rock on the ground. Robbie rolled his eyes.

"I already said that's too bad. What did you expect Pinky? You go running amok with that pig-tailed brat and causing trouble, of course he's going to notice. _I_ never got away with anything, I don't know why you think you can. You're grounded, and that's that."

"It's _still_ not fair," she muttered sullenly. Robbie scoffed.

"You sound like a broken record," he said, grabbing her arm. "Come on. He's off saving kittens again, so I get to look after you."

She snatched her arm back, surprising him. Just what was going on?

"He likes kittens more than he likes me." she said, glaring at the air. Robbie blinked, processing this. After a moment he groaned and grabbed her arm again, walking over to a bench and sitting her down on it. Her face scrunched up as she was about to protest, but he started before she could begin.

"Look, you pink pixie," he said. "He likes _everyone_. That's a confirmed fact. But he doesn't take kittens into his air ship and build little kitty-rooms for them and buy them little kitty-toys, even though the man _has_ no salary to speak of." He could see her face softening in regret, and he knew he didn't need to continue, but he did anyway.

"If you asked him to, he'd stop saving people. He'd die inside, but he'd do it. Do you not _get_ that?"

He had more to say, but the watery look in her eyes stopped him. Damn. He knew he shouldn't have said a thing about death…

Stephanie felt like her heart might curl up in on itself out of regret. She knew what she was doing. She knew it was bad to not only encourage Trixie to be bad, but join in with her. And she knew being bad would make Sportacus worry about her.

But it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she couldn't call Sportacus "daddy", because every time the urge resurfaced, she had to stomp down on it to keep from crying. The funeral had been almost a year ago. It should have been easier now… but it wasn't. And it wasn't fair. She started crying.

Robbie tensed, his eyes widening. Why did everyone have to cry around him? Was he that horrible that his very _presence_ inspired tears? He shuddered. Letting Sportacus seek him out for comfort was one thing. Dealing with a crying nine, almost ten year old girl was an entirely different matter. He gulped, and hesitantly reached up, laying his hand on top of her head.

"Um…" he said uncertainly. "It's okay… he's not mad or anything, so… hey, stop crying already…"

Stephanie abruptly scooted over closer to him and curled up against his side, ignoring it when his entire body tensed at the contact. She wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm sorry!"

Robbie glanced around uncertainly before petting her head slightly.

"Um," he started awkwardly. "It's okay, pixie."

She sniffled and lifted her head, looking up at him with watery brown eyes.

"Pixie?" she said, her voice strained from the short bout of crying. Robbie shifted uncertainly.

"Yeah," he replied, not looking at her. "A blue elf and pink pixie. I thought it fit."

He relaxed minutely when she giggled.

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"

"Are you done now?"

"Yeah," she said, rubbing her eyes, then smiling up at him. Robbie quickly looked away, feeling disconcerted again at that easy smile.

"Well," he stated gruffly, trying to stand up with Stephanie still attached to him. She stood with him and let go. "Come on then. Let's go see where our elf bounced off to."

"He's ours now is he?" Stephanie laughed. Robbie's eye twitched and he didn't answer.

"You know, Pinky-"

"I though I was pixie now?"

"Don't interrupt! Now, as I was saying…"

Stephanie rolled her eyes as he straightened his clothes self-importantly.

"You definitely need to cut back on the trouble making."

"This coming from _you_ Robbie?" she said, looking up at him again as they walked. "You're _never_ good." Robbie sputtered, indignant.

"I can be good when I want to be!"

"Which is never," Stephanie pointed out.

"I've done it once or twice!" he defended. "And besides, that's not the point. You really want to end up like me?" There was a pause.

"Well," Stephanie said slowly. "I don't want to sleep all day and eat nothing but cake…" Robbie resisted the urge to try and defend himself again. It was true that Stephanie was better off being as little like him as possible. He had been fairly miserable for a good portion of his life, and the whole point of taking care of Stephanie was to ensure she _wasn't_ miserable. The least he could do is make sure she didn't go taking after him.

Besides, Sportacus would get horribly depressed if he lost his dance partner.

"Well then. There you have it," Robbie closed the conversation, brushing imaginary dust off of his hands. Stephanie was about to say something more, but something caught her eye and she stopped suddenly, throwing out her arm in front of Robbie to stop him too. He started to say something as well, but she motioned for him to be quiet, pointing to something ahead and to the side. He sighed irritably, convinced it was something unimportant, and followed her silently as she crept forward, peeking around a wall. Robbie looked and had to blink a few times to be sure he was seeing clearly.

Sportacus was leaning over a bed of sad looking flowers. They were getting watered, as the ground was damp around them, but they were drooping on their tiny stalks, and growing rather scraggly. Perhaps the soil was bad, Stephanie thought. But then, Sportacus grinned.

"Don't you worry," he said, seemingly to the flowers. "I'll make it better."

Robbie raised his eyebrows and leaned forward more, curious to see what exactly he was doing.

Wait… was that _glitter_?

He heard Stephanie gasp quietly and he glanced down at her, ready to put a hand over her mouth to keep her from alerting Sportacus to their presence.

"Pixie dust…" she whispered, her eyes wide with awe. Robbie looked at her like she lost her mind, but when he looked back at Sportacus, who was still spreading the glittery shimmery powder around like one might strew seeds, he noticed that the plants were suddenly greener, healthier, upright. The flowers grew a little bigger, and the colors on their petals intensified. Robbie thought for a moment that he had stopped breathing.

'The man has _magic dust_ now?!' Robbie thought, trying not to laugh.

"There we go!" Sportacus smiled. "All better now!" He hummed to himself.

"Oh, _wow_!" Stephanie squealed, and dashed out from the cover of the wall before Robbie could grab her. Sportacus startled and turned to look at her, his eyes wide. She ran up, oblivious, and nearly jumped up and down in excitement in front of him.

"Sportacus! I didn't know you could do magic! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Uh, um," Sportacus stammered, his eyes glancing left and right as if looking for the best possible escape route.

"That's soooo cool!" Stephanie continued, her eyes bright. Robbie straightened up and leaned against the wall, arms folded as he watched the scene. Sportacus looked up from the bouncy girl to Robbie, and Robbie immediately pushed off of the wall and took a step forward.

The elf looked like he was about to bolt out of sheer nerves.

"Can it, pixie." Robbie shot at Stephanie, who paused in her babbling long enough to notice the nervous look on her hero's face. Robbie was walking forward, and she immediately noticed that Sportacus shifted back slightly.

"Sportacus?" she said, suddenly calm and quiet. "What's wrong?"

"You…" Sportacus scratched the back of his head, looking uncertain. "You weren't supposed to see that." He then moved to smoothing his mustache compulsively. "I should have been more careful, that's all. Anyone could have seen, so I…" He shivered slightly. Robbie frowned at this. Who knew what kind of weird codes elves lived by? In Robbie's opinion, the man was crazy enough without having to worry about increasingly strange things like magic and whether or not people saw his ears. He moved next to Sportacus and threw an arm over his shoulder, ensuring that he couldn't leave without _some_ kind of effort.

"Well then," Robbie said, starting to walk and dragging the man along with him. "Unless you need to talk to the flowers some more, I propose a mid-afternoon snack. Cake sounds good." Stephanie fell into step on the other side of Sportacus.

"Cake _always_ sounds good to you Robbie," she commented. Robbie scoffed.

"That's because cake is _always_ good. Didn't you know that, you pink little singing pixie?"

Stephanie giggled at Robbie's continued use of her new nickname.

"I want some sports candy," she retorted, laughing fully at the face Robbie was making in response.

Sportacus was walking under his own power, feeing slightly dazed, but… increasingly warm. He had been startled when he got caught like that, and it wasn't so much that it was Stephanie and Robbie who saw him, but the fact that he was careless enough to be seen at all. And while Stephanie's enthusiasm was heart-warming, it was also worrying. He _really_ did not want it to go around that he wasn't human. How could he possibly get through to the kids about exercising and eating healthy, if their role model for these things wasn't even the same species?

But when Robbie, in his own rude way, diverted the conversation, Sportacus started to feel better. The fact that Robbie still had his arm around his shoulders was comforting, and he had to resist the urge to lean into him or give him a hug while they were walking.

He looked down when Stephanie took his hand. She was still talking to Robbie about the merits of cake versus sports candy, and whether or not candy corn qualified. (He could have answered that- he had tried one out of curiosity when he was younger and immediately dropped into a sugar meltdown. It didn't qualify.) But occasionally she would glance up at Sportacus and smile mildly, and he grinned back, relieved that she was in a better mood now and not angry at him.

The world was a bright place, and the people he loved most were to either side of him. It was a great day.

* * *

AN:

BWHAHAHA!! This is to celebrate the rebirth of PLOT. Oh, _yes_, my loves. I needed this, bad. I just wrote the next section. Mmmmm. It is delicious, as promised.

Now, in regards to this chapter right here. So... elf magic! Incident one. In the play, we really only see him using the sparkly dust on flowers. It appears to be from a container of some kind on his air ship (how does he _sleep_ in that tiny thing?) but we never see this container, so it could be implied that he just... exudes it. Or else it's a physical manifestation of his magic. Whatever! It's awesome.

Now, it's my understanding that elves are rather... shy. Or, that they don't really like audiences for what they do. Uh... again, in some ways Sportacus is radically different about these things, but I like him as close to elf as possible. And so he shall be! So, he really doesn't like showing off his magic abilities, or that he's an elf at all. Understandable. Don't worry, next chapter will show off another... hypothetical magic thing. It _seems_ Sportacus at any rate.

Oooh, it's one in the morning. I agree: Sportacus would not be happy with either of us. Is it horrible that me and Kami have started referring to fruit as sports candy? It just... seems more_ fun_ that way. It makes me wanna eat more of it. Haha, word connotations! I have the mind of a four year old perhaps. A four year old with a large vocabulary.

Reviews please! I loves you all.


	9. The Good Stuff

**Chapter 10: The Good Stuff**

"Come on Robbie..."

"Forget it! It looks healthy!"

"It has peanut butter on it!"

"Then just give me the peanut butter!"

"You're impossible!"

"And you're an annoying pink little girl! What's your point?"

Stephanie threw her hands in the air and let out a small squeal of frustration, stomping her foot and whirling around to stomp angrily over to where Sportacus was doing crunches.

Robbie poked the celery sticks and his nose wrinkled in disgust. They had been slathered in peanut butter. He wondered how the little pink girl had managed to find one of his few weaknesses besides cake. Of course, any junk food and generally unhealthy things appealed to him, but cake, toffee, peanut butter, and popcorn were his favorites. He wasn't sure how the last two ended up there. But they had, and now the pixie was trying to use it against him.

Peanut butter and celery indeed.

Stephanie rolled her eyes at him from across the room and he stuck his tongue out at her. She stuck her tongue out at him back. He made a face at her, and she made a worse one.

After about a minute, Sportacus sat up from his exercises, watching the two of them act years (in Robbie's case, decades) younger than they were. He sighed and considered scolding the both of them, but it looked more like they were bonding than being mean. He settled for grabbing Stephanie around the waist and dragging her to the floor, tickling her unmercifully. She shrieked in laughter and indignation, and he grinned at her as she tried to tickle him back.

"It's no use," he told her while her fingers darted across his ribs in desperate swipes. "The only place I'm ticklish is my feet."

He didn't immediately see Robbie sneak over to them, and only took notice when the man grabbed both boots and yanked them off. Sportacus yelled, releasing Stephanie and trying to curl so he could perform a flip backwards and away from them.

No such luck. They were too close and the roll took too much time. His feet were pinned with Robbie on one leg and Stephanie on the other. She grinned wickedly at him and he tried to flip over onto his stomach to crawl away. He managed to flip over, but both Stephanie and Robbie clung to him with uncanny grips.

"I think we should tickle him until he shows us more magic," Stephanie piped up.

"Sounds about right, pinky," Robbie added, smug now that he was in control. "It'll be revenge for not telling us sooner."

"You never asked!" Sportacus yelled, squirming and trying to get to a floor button.

"Regardless," Robbie said. "Count of three."

"Ready!" Stephanie called.

"Guys, come on!"

"One!"

"Is it that big a deal?"

"Two!"

"Stephanie!"

"Sorry Sportacus."

"THREE!"

He yelled desperately as they started the assault on the bottom of his feet, and his toes curled and he tried to go into a roll to escape, but they had him pinned thoroughly. He laughed until his lungs were sore.

"N-no! Ahhha, guys, s-stop, I'll… I'll do it, just… AAHH NOT THE TOES!"

The attack abruptly stopped, and he lay limply on the floor, panting for breath.

"Victory!" Robbie crowed. Stephanie cheered and released his leg. Robbie followed, and stood up as Sportacus shakily got to his feet, still recovering from the thorough tickling.

"Magic! Magic! Magic!" Stephanie was chirping happily, twirling around in excitement. He sighed and scratched the back of his head slightly. He knew he should have waited until nightfall to help the flowers…

"Alright," he grumbled, and did a cartwheel over to the table. He pressed a button and a can of sugary fruit juice popped out while Robbie and Stephanie crowded around him. He didn't drink the stuff, but Stephanie liked it, so he had a couple stocked for a once-in-a-while snack drink for her. He opened it and poured it into a glass, tossing the empty container into an opening in the wall. He sighed and put his hand over the glass.

"Here we go," he said, and started rubbing the tips of his fingers together over the liquid.

Both Stephanie and Robbie stared, transfixed, as a fine shimmery powder started drifting into the juice, and the liquid slowly changed color from the dark purple grape, to a perfectly clear color.

"Wow," Stephanie breathed. Sportacus smiled slightly at her and removed his hand.

"You can drink it if you want," he said. "It's just water now." She eagerly grabbed the glass and sipped it.

"Ooh!" she squealed appreciatively. "It tastes really good!" Sportacus beamed at her, though he still looked mildly apprehensive. He turned to look at Robbie when he heard the man scoff.

"Water _never_ tastes good," he commented dryly, eyeing the glass with interest none the less. His mind was whirring full-speed trying to figure out what kind of chemical changes had to occur for that to happen, and how in the world the elf produced that powder from his fingertips.

Sportacus laughed lightly and hugged the man. He could tell Robbie was confused and trying to figure it out, but he _couldn't_ figure it out because it was magic and not science. Robbie was good, excellent even, with science, but the man didn't know a thing about magic and remained skeptical.

"You think too much Robbie," Sportacus said, squeezing the taller man slightly.

"No, I think just enough to be sane, unlike some people, thank you." Robbie shot back. Sportacus just grinned and stood briefly on his toes to kiss the man on the cheek. Robbie looked away, blushing and muttering something about "over affectionate brain-dead jocks". Stephanie made a face at the two of them for kissing in front of her. Sportacus wiggled his fingers in a tickling motion at her, and she squeaked and giggled, hiding under the table and taking the glass of water with her. She kept sipping it as she hid. It really _was_ good tasting.

"Any other magic tricks, Sports Elf?" Robbie asked teasingly. Sportacus hummed in thought, bouncing lightly on his feet.

"Maybe," he said finally, being evasive. Robbie raised an eyebrow at him. "Not any that I can show you right now," he explained further, and while Robbie looked skeptical, he let it go. Stephanie crawled out from under the table.

"Do you want to try it Robbie?" she held up the half-empty glass towards him and he eyed it distastefully.

"It's water," he pointed out.

"_Magic Elf_ water," Stephanie shot back. Sportacus bit his lip to keep from protesting. It was _made_ with magic, but it was just plain water after all… it didn't have any special powers.

That he knew of, anyway. He had never really given any to anyone, so he couldn't be sure, but he was pretty sure it didn't do anything special…

"I suppose…" Robbie grumbled finally, taking the glass gingerly while simultaneously making a disgusted face at it. He raised it up to his face… he glanced at Stephanie.

"Stop staring, Pinky!" he snapped. She huffed and threw up her hands again, spinning around and walking away towards her room.

"Have it your way!" she called back, and Sportacus heard her rummaging through her room before he glanced back at Robbie, who was drinking the water with a strained face. He grinned a little, despite himself. They finally got him to try something outright healthy! He had to restrain himself from doing a back flip from happiness. As it was, he was swinging his arms slightly. Robbie put the glass down back on the table, his face scrunched up in distaste. Sportacus instantly stilled, feeling slightly disappointed.

"You didn't like it?" he asked. Robbie looked at him.

"Of course I didn't like it. It's _water_. The blandest substance on earth."

"Oh," Sportacus said. He expected that, but it would have been nice if Robbie liked it at least a little.

"Does _everything_ about you have to be about forests and all that wholesome junk?" Robbie suddenly asked. Sportacus blinked in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"The water," Robbie clarified. "It tasted weird. Not that I'd know what it tastes like normally," he added in quickly. "But ask your pink pixie over there. It seemed like it was… I don't know, from a mountain stream somewhere or something equally disgusting." Sportacus grinned at him.

"That first part made you sound nearly poetic Robbie," he teased. Robbie rolled his eyes.

"I'll have you know I was a theater major at university," he said, sounding very self-important again.

"You went to a university?"

"… For a little while."

"What happened?"

"Too much work. Not enough sleep time."

Sportacus rolled his eyes at Robbie. The man was lazy no matter what, it seemed. Still, it made sense. The man was… _decent_ at acting, at least. And he didn't seem to get stage fright very often.

"Sexy," Sportacus grinned. Robbie's eyes widened and he froze in surprise. Sportacus laughed and hugged the man, tilting his head up and standing on toes again to kiss him quickly.

"Love you." he said simply, smiling up at Robbie. He was still frozen. Sportacus cart wheeled off to go help Stephanie find whatever she was looking for in her small room and left Robbie standing there.

Robbie felt hot and cold simultaneously. Hearing that was something… entirely new. It made a rush of warmth go through him, thinking that there was somebody who could say it so easily and be truthful.

But then, there was a feeling of cold dread. He knew the elf wanted to hear it back. And Robbie wanted to say it. He loved the elf, there was no doubt about that anymore. But he couldn't say it. Something about the words got stuck in his brain. He could think it all day long. But saying it and hearing it with his own ears… Robbie shuddered and leaned against the table.

He really wanted Sportacus right now.

* * *

Sportacus blinked in surprise when his crystal beeped softly and glowed.

"Someone needs me…" he murmured to himself. Stephanie looked up from the small pile of books she had been searching through. He smiled vaguely after a moment and stood up from where he had been crouched on the floor helping Stephanie.

"Robbie." He looked down at Stephanie from his hero pose. "Can you stay here for a minute? I need to help Robbie." She nodded and went back to her books, trying to pile them back into the built-in bookcase in some semblance of order while he wooshed through his moves and darted out of the room. She sighed and placed a book back where it belonged.

'The two of them need to get married already,' she thought.

* * *

"Robbie?"

Robbie looked up to see Sportacus approaching him. He was sitting on the table. Sportacus walked closer, planning on hopping up next to the man, but Robbie stopped him and instead wrapped him in a close hug.

"Robbie?" he asked again, wrapping his arms around him as well. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Robbie said lowly, partially hiding his face in the top of Sportacus' hat.

"Now who's lying?" Sportacus teased, allowing Robbie to use him for comfort. In reality, he really was worried. His crystal wouldn't go off like that unless someone really did need him, even if it was rare that someone needed him emotionally rather than physically rescuing them.

Robbie only held onto him tighter.

"I really don't deserve you at all," he said as quietly as possible, half-hoping that because his mouth was currently against the material of the hat, the owner of the hat wouldn't be able to hear him.

No such luck, as usual.

"What?" Sportacus said, leaning back to look up at Robbie's face. He felt a chill go through him. The look on Robbie's face was sad, and if there was one thing Sportacus could not stand, it was people he loved being sad, for any reason. He reached up and touched Robbie's face gently.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?" The gesture only seemed to make Robbie sadder.

"I told you, it's nothing," he lied again. "Just… stay here, okay? Like this."

Sportacus looked up at him questioningly, but he wasn't one to deny people when they needed him. He hugged Robbie again, resting his head on the man's chest.

"I wish you'd tell me," he sighed. He opened his eyes and looked up again when he felt his hat and goggles being removed. Robbie was frowning at them, holding them like they were dirty laundry, before he unceremoniously threw them across the room.

"I don't know why you wear that thing all the time," Robbie complained. "I can never see your hair." Sportacus grinned at him.

"Oh?" he teased. "You like my hair then? I didn't think that was your _thing_, Robbie." He paused, noting that Robbie was really only half paying attention to what he was saying, and the majority of his attention was on his hair.

"I don't have a thing for hair," Robbie murmured, one hand defying him and touching an unruly dark blonde lock.

"Hmm… what is your thing then?" He loved it when Robbie's mind wandered. He could ask whatever questions he wanted and the man hardly ever noticed. He let him play with his hair for awhile longer.

"Mmm," Robbie hummed, his mind still off somewhere else other than the present. "Your abs are _hot_," he finally decided. Sportacus blushed slightly. He remembered how Robbie _did_ seem to like touching there a lot.

"S-so… you have a thing for abs then?" he asked, trying to resist the urge to kiss the man again, as Stephanie was just in the other room and the kiss would probably lead to something else if he wasn't careful… he didn't have a huge amount of impulse control.

"No," Robbie corrected, running a hand fully through the blonde hair and reveling in the small shudder that went through its owner, and the way Sportacus closed his eyes in pleasure at the motion. "More like I just have a thing for you."

Sportacus opened his eyes wide and stared up at Robbie's face. Robbie was still staring determinedly at his hair and playing with locks of it. Sportacus felt like his heart might burst. Was that healthy? Was that supposed to happen? He suddenly recalled that first time, and Robbie telling him to just do what felt good. And this feeling… even if it felt like his heart might burst, it was a _good_ feeling.

He realized then that everything about Robbie was about feeling good, with nothing getting in the way of it.

He started laughing, and before the man could get offended, he reached up and dragged him down into a soul-searing kiss.

* * *

AN:

END OF FLUFF.

Oh, I spoil you lot entirely too much. But I can't help it. For three reasons. First, the lovely lovely reviews that force me to kick my feet like a five year old and giggle. Second, because HOMAHGAWD I've gotten 800 hits now. 800. I nearly peed myself when I saw that. I think I might have to write more slash fan fiction. It seems to be exceedingly popular. The only other story I've written that's gotten this many hits or more, is a slash fic. But... wow, 800 hits. I'm going to freak out at 1000. You know it.

And lastly, the reason I'm spoiling you all with these quick updates, besides the fact that the last couple of chapters were small, is because I'm very eager to get to the plot I've just opened. Oh man. I could _cry_. Kami-chan gets to read chapters before everyone else, and when she read the next section she told me she apparently orgasmed. So, I'm assuming it's good. I like it anyway.

But yes. The first line of the AN does speak the truth. The fluff is gone for awhile. Quite a while. Settle in for my speciality: angst. Simply thinking about it makes me break out in shivers and giggle like a schoolgirl.

Anyway, with this chapter, I had Sportacus changing some sugary not-really-juice drink into water. It _seems_ like something he'd do with magic. And uh... yeah, that thing he mentions to Robbie about other magic tricks... yeah, it's sex. Or I had that in mind anyway. I'll write it later, I promise!

After I wrote this, I went back and watched Glanni Glaeper i Latibaer again. And lo, there was Sportacus tickling children! I hadn't even realized it. I found it adorable that Ziggy's stomach is so ticklish. That stomach needs to have like... its own superpowers. And the way they say "Superman" makes me giggle every single damn time. Anyway, it just seems that since Sportacus loves playing with the kids so much it would be natural for tickling to break out at some point. And as far as his feet go... there's got to be a reason he hardly ever takes those boots off. I mean, even in the episode Defeeted, he would not take those demented boots off. So, my conclusion is that his feet are ticklish, and he considers them his weak spot.

Anyway. To sum up, I'm friggen pumped for getting to this new plot point, even though I'm a little wary that I've opened a can of worms. Ugh. I can't say anymore. I'll probably update tomorrow too.

Reviews! I love them! Every review is like a little delicious dew drop on a freshly-watered flower!


	10. Vanished in the Air

**Chapter 11: Vanished in the Air**

"Robbie?"

Robbie snorted and woke up from his nap, looking blearily around. Was that the elf calling him? He yawned, slowly waking up. What did he want anyhow?…

"Robbie, open up!"

He woke up fully then and bolted out of his chair, ignoring the stiffness in his back when he did so. There was something wrong with the elf's voice. He moved over to the pipe and was soon at the entrance, where a clearly agitated Sportacus was banging as hard as he could on the metal.

"Knock it off already!" Robbie yelled after the banging nearly deafened him.

"Robbie!" he heard through the pipe. "Robbie open up! Where's Stephanie?!"

He swung the lid open.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he snapped. "Why would _I_ have the little pixie? Weren't you supposed to pick her up from school?"

"My crystal went off Robbie!" he was babbling, practically shaking in anxiety. "I can't find her. Something's wrong and I can't find her and I thought she might have just gone to you and maybe something happened here, _please_ tell me she's here Robbie, I can't _find her_ and-"

Robbie had to hold the man back from shoving himself into the pipe looking for her, despite the fact that Robbie was only half out of it now.

"Calm down!" he bellowed, shaking Sportacus slightly. The elf shuddered and went still, but his hands were still shaking and he kept looking around, as if expecting her to jump out of nowhere.

"She didn't get out of school?"

"N-no, I even went in, and I asked, just to make sure, they said didn't come in after lunch and they thought I picked her up early or something, but I _didn't_ and I don't know where she _is_ Robbie!"

Robbie had to calm himself down. The elf's frazzled nerves were starting to rub off on him, and it wouldn't do any good for them both to break down over this.

"Okay," Robbie breathed and climbed shakily out of the pipe, closing and locking it behind him. "Did you look for her by the sports park?"

"I already looked everywhere in Lazy Town. I can't find her Robbie…" it trailed off into a whimper and Robbie stiffened, feeling suddenly terrified.

"Don't cry!" he snapped. "Crying isn't going to find her, is it?" Sportacus shuddered again and shook his head. He bit his lip to try and bring himself back to the present.

A goal. He always worked well with goals. Make Lazy Town happy. Get everyone healthy and moving. Get Robbie to eat healthy foods at least some of the time. Goals were good. His hands slowly stopped shaking as mental to-do list items shuffled around in his mind. In big bold letters, outsizing everything else and at the very top of the list:

_Find Stephanie._

_Keep Stephanie safe._

His crystal pulsed.

* * *

Stephanie was petrified. Beyond fear, beyond terror, a state where it feels as if every molecule in your body has frozen still. You heart doesn't beat, you don't need to breathe, and every single piece of your body has frozen in time.

She was in the back of car, slumped over the back seat. The drivers were there. They hadn't seen her wake up, but she feigned sleep. She wanted desperately to look out the windows and see where they were. She wanted to bolt, and shove open the door and leave before they could grab her.

Again.

She shuddered, but kept her eyes closed. When they asked her to help them find their kitten, she had wondered why Sportacus didn't help them. Sportacus helped everyone, didn't he? But maybe, she thought, he was busy helping someone else. And she was the town's backup superhero, wasn't she? So she had agreed. And it was very likely for a kitten to hide somewhere, wasn't it? So isolated places were more likely to house little lost kittens. It made sense, didn't it?

She didn't have time to even feel scared before the rag was up against her mouth and nose, and she fell asleep.

So now she was faking unconsciousness in the backseat of a moving vehicle with her kidnappers. She was understandably beyond terrified.

They eventually stopped. To get gas, she assumed by the sharp smell of fuel as the driver opened the door, slamming it behind him.

"Dose her again," one of them said quietly. She heard the passenger shift in his seat, and held her breath as something was pressed against her mouth and nose for a moment. It was removed, and the passenger side door opened and shut.

"I'm fucking starving man."

"You should stay and watch her," his companion pointed out.

"Hell no. We don't need to. Lock the doors so no one takes her. Did you get a look at that hair and baby-face? She'll be good. Sell high."

"Whatever man. You're paying for your own damn food."

"Yeah yeah."

Stephanie shivered as they walked away. She immediately snapped open her eyes. She didn't know where she was.

It didn't matter.

She slowly inched her eyes above the window level. They were in the store, grabbing food and drinks and gas, she guessed. She didn't have much time. Cold fear gripped her stomach and twisted cruelly. She suddenly hated her bright pink hair.

No time.

She unlocked the door on the opposite side of the car and crawled out, staying low. She stayed low until she got to the next building over.

Then, she ran as hard as she could.

She thought, randomly, that Sportacus would be proud of her for running so hard and fast. As she kept tears back by concentrating on her breathing and just how fast she could run and how many places there were to hide, she made a promise.

She would never, ever, make anyone worry about her again. Her friends. Robbie, a man she considered her little brother who happened to be older and taller than her.

Sportacus.

Big brother, best friend. Protector, supporter, the person who saved her, always, and took care of her, always. The promise was there; _forever, I swear_.

Daddy.

She ran harder.

* * *

Robbie hadn't complained when Sportacus grabbed him and dragged him to the air ship, or when he threw him over one shoulder and climbed up by himself, not wanting to be slowed down by Robbie's awkward climbing. _That_ was understandable. But when he had to cling to the back of the pilot seat because Sportacus was driving the thing so recklessly and so damn _fast_, there was a problem.

"Slow _down_ damnit! You're gonna crash!"

"No, we'll be fine," Sportacus said distractedly, calmly. He had a vaguely glazed look that, frankly, made Robbie doubt that the elf knew just what the hell he was doing. But short of wresting the controls from him, which was physically impossible, there was nothing he could do. He clung tighter to the back of the seat as the air ship swerved dangerously. He swallowed, his thoughts drifting to Stephanie.

'You better be alright, pixie,' he thought. 'If you're not, it'll destroy him. Don't you dare be hurt. Who's going to share their cake with me? Don't be hurt. Just be lost. Please, please, just be lost little pixie. We can find you if you're lost. Just don't be hurt.'

He shuddered, and felt his stomach tighten and flip as Sportacus steered the air ship more recklessly, to some unknown location.

She couldn't go through the same things he had. He was going to make sure of it.

* * *

She panted, holding her sides as they cramped painfully. Her stomach was cramping too, demanding water and rest, but she couldn't stop. She had to get away. Had to get back to Lazy Town, back to Sportacus, and Robbie, and her friends.

She had no idea where she was, and it scared her.

The entire city was busy, but no one would stop to help her. And she didn't want their help. What if they turned her back to the men who kidnapped her? It was too much of a risk.

She ducked into an alleyway to catch her breath. A lock of bright pink hair waved in front of her face, and she grabbed it and yanked, _hard_, furious that it made her so easy to spot, made her such a target. She didn't think she could hate her own body more than she hated it at the moment.

"Girly?"

She whirled around, eyes wide at the rough disoriented voice from deeper in the alley.

"Whatsa purty little thing like ya doin runnin round like dat?"

"Stay away from me," she warned shakily as the rough-looking man approached her, stumbling a little. He blinked blearily, as if just waking up.

"Uh? Oh, hey, ahm not gonna hurtcha, I swear,"

"I said stay away!" she shrieked. It didn't matter if he had good intentions or not. She was nine years old, lost, and utterly terrified.

Her trust in strangers was shattered.

"You lost girly?"

A rough hand grabbed her arm. Her eyes dilated and every muscle in her body tightened.

She screamed.

* * *

AN:

Do you know how hard it is to find a chapter title that fits from all these happy-fun songs? I _suspect_ that Latibaer's songs would provide more "dark" material to work with. But I don't know Icelandic. Woe! Anyway, this chapter title is from the song "Boopity Boo, I Scared You". Yeah. Real hardcore there.

The way I wrote this makes it extremely difficult to make substantial chapters. Whenever I write like this, it becomes choppy. Because I was trained where the _way_ you write something is the feeling you're trying to express in it. So my segments are short and abrupt. Geh. I'm not entirely happy with that. It makes it harder for me. Um. I totally wrote this yesterday. This has got to be the shortest "write-to-post" time I've had yet for this fic. I told you guys I was excited.

I like the idea of Sportacus working with goals. He seems to be a very goal-oriented person, in that what motivates him is something specific. Where as with say, Robbie, there are no goals at all. He just does things because he wants to. I very highly support their being opposites. Yin and Yang make for eternally amusing concepts. X3

Anyway, I've hit a small snag in the fic at the moment, but I'll probably get over it fairly soon. I tend to get frustrated with snags and just run them over. Kami-chan helps by beating me until I move on. But who's got the sports candy? Meeeeee. And what _delicious_ apples they are.

Um. Yeah, so, there's gonna be some serious conflict here. It'll become real clear next chapter. There's a hint in here. A very large hint. There's always a bigger conflict under the main one, like undercurrent in choppy water. You know? I don't. I grew up in the desert, so I really have no idea. But the image is interesting.

I SPOIL YOU ALL!

Reviews equal yum. I'm going to dinner now, before my brain melts.


	11. Master of Disguise

**Chapter 12: Master of Disguise**

Robbie was nearly knocked over when Sportacus slammed the brakes on the air ship, and the entire thing floated to an abrupt stop. He heard the machinery in the engines squeal in protest, and for a moment he feared Sportacus was damaging it, but he didn't have time to say so before Sportacus leapt up from the chair and moved faster than Robbie had _ever_ seen him go towards the door. He called for the Sky Chaser, and leapt off the edge and out of view.

Robbie remained sprawled out on the floor, wondering what in the world was going on. And wondering what it meant when the crystal on the elf's chest flashed so fast.

* * *

She tore her arm away from the man and darted out of the alley again, taking off at a run against the crowds of people, and despite the aching in her body. Why was everything going crazy? Tears sprang to her eyes. She started sobbing, even as her shoes smacked against the pavement at a regular rhythm. She couldn't see where she was going, and it didn't matter. 

Why was everything going wrong?

She felt the hotness in her eyes spill over, the tightness in her lungs. She remembered things, little things, as she ran, and it made her heart hurt more.

_I want to see Ziggy grow up._

_I want Pixel to finally notice girls exist outside of video games._

_I want to see Stingy when he gives someone something without trying to take it back._

_I want to be Robbie's pixie! I want to see him eat an apple!_

_**I want to hug Sportacus and I want to grow up and bring home a boyfriend like in the movies and have Sportacus intimidate him!**_

"SPORTACUS!" she half screamed, half sobbed. "ROBBIE! PLEASE!" She sobbed loudly then, and dropped to her knees. She was exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally spent. She cried louder. It was on the outskirts of a park, behind a stand of trees. Her tights had holes ripped in them, her hair was in disarray. She lost her headband.

She didn't care anymore. She just cried.

She jumped and nearly screamed when something grabbed her. Her eyes snapped open, and she sucked in a breath so fast that it left her coughing. She struggled weakly, but the blur of white blue and black… was…

"S-Sportacus?" she mewled. He hugged her harder, until she thought she might be crushed. She sobbed again, and threw her arms around him.

"Sportacus!" she cried, burying her face in his shoulder. She couldn't talk anymore after that, and just clung to him as hard as she could, crying. She was crying too hard to feel the tremors of emotion go through her savior as he tried to not cry, and failed.

Sportacus felt his heart stretch painfully. She was okay, she was okay…

The thought kept echoing in his head, and only now did he allow the visions of what might have been rush through his mind, and only now that she was safe in his arms did he let himself go. He curled around her and held onto her like she would melt away if he didn't. He only realized at that moment how small she was, even though she had been growing recently. Robbie loved pointing out that a little girl would be taller than him in no time.

He laughed shortly, and it sounded more like a choked sob than anything.

"I wanna go home," Stephanie finally sniffled, feeling utterly exhausted and exposed. Sportacus didn't say a word, just picked her up bridal style, waited for her to settle in his arms and curl against him, and he walked.

* * *

Robbie halted his pacing across the floor when the platform lowered, then raised, carrying Sportacus who in turn was carrying Stephanie. He looked at her with wide apprehensive eyes. She spotted him and her eyes immediately watered. Sportacus put her on her feet after the platform sealed itself back onto the ship. She ran straight to Robbie and threw her arms around him, almost knocking him over. 

"I'm sorry!" she said, and she kept repeating it over and over. Sportacus leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He didn't think he'd ever felt more tired.

Robbie held her as she babbled, absorbing what he could from her rambling, crying speech. Sportacus was in no condition to put together the pieces. It had probably taken everything out of the sports elf just to get her back. Robbie was checking her over as she clung to him and just spilled out all of her fears on the spot, spilled out everything that had happened and every thought she had during the whole experience. Normally he would have been irritated at all the pointless noise. But he was listening around her feelings and concentrating on the content, while he ran a hand through her hair. No bumps, no wounds. Dirty hair and no headband, but uninjured. No wounds on her arms, and she had scraped knees. But she seemed okay. Scared out of her mind, but okay. He sighed slightly in relief.

"And one of them said I had a baby-face, and my hair was nice, and that'd I'd 'sell high', but I didn't understand, and after that they went into the store-"

Robbie stopped listening. His entire body turned to stone.

Sell high.

He felt sick, and swayed on his feet.

Sportacus noticed the look immediately. He hadn't seen it in months. But there it was again, and on top of worrying about Stephanie, he realized Robbie needed saved too. The to-do list in his head was growing, but _Find Stephanie_ had been crossed off at least. But the opened space was left unfinished. There was a blank space in front of Robbie's name.

Even while he was holding Stephanie, Robbie was looking _through_ things again, with that glazed look.

Sportacus pushed off the wall and made his way over to the pair. Robbie looked at him as he got close, with a hollow expression. Sportacus sucked in a breath.

The sheer emptiness of that look allowed him, in an instant, to see straight through the storm-cloud gray eyes and it shot him straight through to the level he only glimpsed before. A child-Robbie, curled up and all alone, pleading with nothingness.

'_Please. **Please**, save me._'

If he hadn't been so utterly exhausted, he would have cried again. It was the same look Stephanie gave him when she had turned around that day, being led back into a house where people hurt her. It was the same look. He moved closer still, enveloping the both of them in a hug, and moving them over to the other side of the air ship.

"Bed," he said softly, and it wooshed into place. Stephanie was about to fall asleep on the spot, so he took her from Robbie and lifted her onto the bed. He took off her shoes and she laid down, fighting to keep her eyes open, even though the pillow smelled so _nice_, like laundry and Sportacus. He put the cover over her securely.

"Thanks daddy," she whispered sleepily, and finally fell into the deep slumber of the truly weary. He stopped for a moment and regarded her carefully. 'Daddy'?… He straightened up, resolving to deal with it later. It got shuffled to the middle of his to-do list. He turned to Robbie.

The man had used the time to slam down every defense he possessed. The eyes weren't hollow anymore. They were solid stone wall. Sportacus felt something inside of him twinge regretfully. He wished one of his powers was the ability to go into the past. He would fix everything. Everyone would be happy.

Especially Robbie.

He motioned silently for the man to follow him, and he quietly ordered the door to open. He stepped out onto the platform and, thankfully, Robbie followed.

He didn't like this place from the instant he had smelled the air. It wasn't clear or clean in the least. Sportacus felt an automatic aversion to it the instant he had opened the door when he felt Stephanie. He looked at Robbie, and Robbie was staring through him.

"What did that mean?" he said. Robbie blinked and slowly focused again.

"What?"

"What she was saying about the conversation between the people who took her," he clarified, trying his hardest to keep his voice even. "When they said she'd sell high. What did that mean?" Robbie's eyes slid back to their unfocused state and the taller man shrugged.

"Nothing you'd want to know about, Sportaflop."

Sportacus grit his teeth. He was backsliding then. They were back at nicknames.

"It has to do with Stephanie," he said. Best not to say out loud what he was thinking; "_It has to do with you too._"

"It has to do with what happened to her," he repeated. "So I want to know. And you know what it means. So tell me."

He knew he was pushing the man. But he had to. Robbie's eyes shifted down to the city below them. There was a long stretch of silence.

"They were going to sell her to someone, obviously," Robbie finally said, not looking up.

"For what?" Sportacus demanded. "Like, in a sweat shop or something?" There was another long pause, and Robbie was looking at his hands.

"She's a cute girl, you know," he started slowly. He opened his mouth to say more, but stopped. He examined his hands again. Sportacus bristled, getting frustrated.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Robbie looked up, and blinked at him.

"You really _are_ an innocent," he muttered, tilting his head.

"Spit it out Robbie!"

"Sex."

There was a long, long pause.

"Happy now, sports elf? I said it."

Sportacus swallowed, closed his eyes briefly.

"How do you know that Robbie?" he asked softly.

Another pause.

"None of your damn business," came the hissed reply. Sportacus opened his eyes. Robbie had retreated back into the doorway, and his shoulders were stiff with tension. Sportacus suddenly felt very, very tired. He didn't want to fight with Robbie right now. He just wanted to get back to Lazy Town.

"Okay," he said quietly, and moved past Robbie over to the piloting chair. Robbie let him.

Sportacus climbed into the chair and took the air ship back to Lazy Town.

Robbie leaned against the closed door, and slowly slid down it, coming to rest with his head on his knees, curled on the floor.

* * *

AN:

1000 hits? You guys... I'm gonna cry.

There's something to be said about when I finally focus on a plot, rather than fluff-filler. This is a very dramatic difference from previous chapters, I know. But I said this before: this fic is my play-thing at the moment. You should've heard my idea just a few hours ago for another plot twist... it was very messy, and not at all feasible. But maybe for another fic. I need to stop thinking of good ideas for different fics and just finish this one.

Um. Alright. After this emotional roller coaster, I seem to have accidentally inserted some more fluff in there. Later, not this chapter I mean... So, hopefully it won't be a sob-fest? Maybe. I'm guessing. I always try to have happy endings, anyway.

The chapter title is this one because it's referring to Robbie's ability to hide, to disguise himself. Which is just starting to come into play. I honestly could not find a good chapter title this time. So Master of Disguise it is.

It seems like every other day I get to a point in the fic where I pause and go "Hmm. It would be okay to end it here." I think this a sign that it's definately getting to be close.

I had to look up the symptoms of panic attacks on Wikipedia last night while I was writing. This should give you something of a clue.

Anyway, I hope I'm not scaring off people with this... heavy stuff. It'll continue for a bit.

Did I have anything more to say? I can't remember. Enjoy guys!


	12. Heard A Warning Ringing

**Chapter 13: Heard A Warning Ringing**

There was a stern lecture to every child in Lazy Town about strangers the next day. Coming from the town hero, when he looked so serious about it, it had the desired effect. Stephanie had taken to having a fear about being alone, so Sportacus had given her a little necklace- he said it was an elf charm, but she wasn't sure, it looked pretty normal- and told her it would protect her no matter what, if he couldn't get to her in time. She wore it constantly, and slowly, she started recovering. Every once in a while, she would slip and call him "daddy". He didn't mind.

There was still Robbie.

Sportacus ate an apple, perched on top of a wall in Lazy Town, and thought about it. He didn't really _know_ that much about Robbie Rotten. He knew the man's personality, his facial expressions, his body… but was that enough? Should he dredge up bad things so he could try and fix them?

He sighed and tossed the apple core into a trashcan. No, he wouldn't. Unless Robbie came to him, or needed help, he wouldn't push it. Thinking about it, he was getting kind of bored with all the kids in school now. There was no one to play with, and they hardly ever got in trouble with teachers hovering around them.

He jumped off the wall. There was always Robbie's place, after all.

* * *

Unfortunately, Robbie Rotten was in no state for visitors. He had been inventing when a wire snapped, and slashed into the side of his face. It was a shallow cut, but it was bleeding like crazy, and the sting of it was pissing him off. So it was a natural reaction for him, to start alternating between throwing things into the walls, and smashing other things with a large mallet.

"Whoa, what's going on?"

He turned around to see a certain sports elf peeking out of the pipe opening and looking around at the destruction.

"Do you just let yourself in now?!" Robbie screeched, at the peak of his fury. Sportacus backed up slightly in the pipe, looking at him with wide eyes. Oh boy. Robbie was pissed at something.

"What's wrong?" The default question for dealing with Robbie. The man smashed something else on the workbench into pieces.

"_Nothing_ is wrong!" he yelled, and searched for something else to destroy. Sportacus crept out of the pipe while he was distracted. "Not a thing! Not _you_, not the pink pixie, not this _stupid town_, _nothing_!" Just as he was about to bring the mallet down on something else, Sportacus moved behind him, expertly plucked the weapon from his hands, and let it drop to the floor. Before Robbie could turn around and lay into him for it, the elf wrapped him in a bear hug and started dragging him backwards.

"Someone needs a time out," he said fairly calmly, dragging Robbie over to his orange chair. This of course only made Robbie angrier, and he fought every inch of the way. Sportacus set him in the chair, narrowly avoiding a flailed kick to his face, and only then noticed the amount of blood on the side of Robbie's face.

"What happened?!" he yelped, and immediately reached out to touch it. Robbie hissed at him but couldn't escape.

"It's none of your business!"

Sportacus narrowed his eyes. That was getting tiring.

"It _is_ my business. You're hurt. That's definitely my business Robbie. So stop trying to push me away."

Robbie glared at him fiercely, but didn't say anything. Sportacus used the moment to inspect the cut.

"Ouch," he finally said. "That's going to need some medicine." Robbie growled.

"Like hell," he replied. Sportacus fixed him with a hard stare.

"Unless you want a scar, Robbie."

"Like I don't already _have_ scars, sports elf." he scoffed. Sportacus' eyebrows came together in thought. Scars?…

"I've never seen any scars on you Robbie," he said, sounding genuinely confused. Robbie paled slightly, and his eyes darted in a way that suggested he was searching for a lie.

"Well, then… you didn't look hard enough."

"Hm… where, then?"

"None of your business," he automatically snapped. He knew the mistake the instant the elf's face hardened in determination.

"It's still bleeding," Sportacus said after a moment, eyeing the gash in his cheek. "Hold still." He licked his thumb and Robbie raised an eyebrow at this.

"Are you going to _clean_ it better?"

"Just hold still, you baby."

"I am _not_-"

But Sportacus was already swiping his thumb across the cut, and Robbie hissed at the sudden renewed stinging. He squirmed and Sportacus had to pin him.

"I told you to stay still!"

"It hurts damnit!"

"It's almost done."

And abruptly it was. The pain was gone completely, and Robbie blinked in surprise at the contrast. Sportacus let him go and leaned back.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Robbie brought a hand up to his face and felt. There was dried blood, but no cut. Like it was never there. He stared at Sportacus, who smiled sheepishly.

"I figured you didn't have any first aid stuff here," he explained. "And I didn't want to go back to the air ship to get any and leave you here bleeding. So I fixed it."

"More elf magic," Robbie said dully. "Your _saliva_ is magical too now?" It was fascinating to watch the sports elf's nose scrunch up like that when he was aggravated or wanting to protest. It was almost cute.

"I think we already established that I'm not human Robbie."

"So you could like… lick wounds closed?"

"I could…" Sportacus started hesitantly. "But I wouldn't lick them. Blood would get in my mouth."

"Is that bad?"

"Yes," he answered shortly.

"Hmm," Robbie commented, clearly thinking.

"If you're going to plot my downfall, please do it some other way," Sportacus said, smiling faintly. "You really wouldn't like the results of that particular plot." Robbie looked at him questioningly, but no other explanation was forthcoming.

"So," Sportacus said. "I told you a secret. You tell me where these supposed scars are."

"Oh, no," Robbie replied, scooting back further into the chair. "No way." Sportacus appeared to think for a moment.

"I don't know if I can heal scars, but it'd be worth a try, right?" To his disappointment, Robbie just started laughing.

"No," he said, still chuckling. "No, even if you could, I wouldn't let you."

"Why not?" Sportacus frowned. Robbie looked at him and didn't say anything.

"Fine," Sportacus said sharply, getting mildly frustrated. "I'll make it into a game then."

"I hate games!" Robbie protested.

"Too bad," he answered quickly. He ran over a list of things in his head. "Hands?" He looked at Robbie's hands. They were, miraculously, unscarred, even with having worked with machines. "No. I've seen your back, no scars there… front either…" he grinned a little, feeling slightly mischievous. "Ears?" He made a show of inspecting the man's ears and felt Robbie tense up under him to keep from laughing. He really was horribly ticklish.

"Nope," he said and finally let up, reveling in the smile Robbie was trying his hardest to suppress. He continued. "I've felt your hair enough times to know there's nothing on your head… hmm… not your face… legs? No, I don't think there's any there either… feet?"

He _immediately_ noticed the way Robbie's eyes dilated. Jackpot.

"How'd you get scars _there_?" he asked mildly, innocently. Robbie's eyes were shifting in and out of focus again.

"I never said you were right," Robbie replied dully.

"You didn't need to." Sportacus shot back. "I won't push you. But I want to know, Robbie. Don't keep secrets." He wasn't going to push. But a nudge wasn't a push.

"It hurts that you don't trust me."

Bingo.

"You'll hate me." Robbie responded, desperately. Sportacus was slowly catching on to all the similarities between Stephanie and Robbie. It was becoming increasingly clear, as Stephanie recovered from her latest ordeal, that where she had come away with a fear of being alone she was only just getting over, Robbie had _always_ been afraid of it. Every action in Robbie demanded attention. Every tantrum said that much. And he flinched away from positive attention.

Something had happened, somewhere in the past, and the implications of it were making Sportacus increasingly worried.

"I won't hate you Robbie," he reassured him, trying to stay in control even when Robbie flinched when he ran a hand through the man's hair. "No matter what, I won't ever hate you." Robbie seemed to harden his resolve.

"I won't tell you," he said, opening his eyes and staring straight at him. Sportacus shivered. They were hollow again, but the message was different. It wasn't the child-Robbie peeking through. It was an older one that had already given up.

_"You'll hurt me. I can't trust anyone. I won't. I'll get hurt, I'm scared, you can't save me."_

Something twisted in his heart, and tears started forming. He pushed them back. It wasn't that he couldn't save him. It was that Robbie _always_ refused to be saved. He was stubborn enough to stay on top of a billboard for the rest of his life, and scared enough to cling to trees in dangerous weather conditions.

Well, that was too bad.

"Okay." Sportacus finally said, staring straight back into Robbie's eyes. "I said I wouldn't push, and I won't. But Robbie… I won't hurt you. Ever. I promise." He leaned in, and pressed his lips against the man's forehead. "I love you."

Robbie shuddered, and Sportacus leaned back to look at his face.

"I'm sorry…" Robbie murmured, not looking at him. Sportacus smiled weakly, and shifted so that he was in the man's lap and snug up against him.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he replied, and kissed Robbie's neck. He felt Robbie's arms wrap around him and hold him closer, like a large teddy bear. He sighed and let him hide his face against his neck, while he ran his hands through his hair and messed up the styling for the millionth time. He was considering stealing all of the man's hair gel, because really Robbie did look much better without it all slathered against his head. And those sideburns needed to go too. But he was a hero, and stealing things was wrong.

But it _wasn't_ wrong if he just hid all of the things. That wasn't stealing. He grinned a little to himself. He really loved loopholes.

The grin slipped a little as he thought about why Robbie would have scars on his feet, of all places, and why he was so sensitive about it. He couldn't figure it out. Maybe he had walked over a bunch of sharp things and his feet got cut up. That would make sense, but… in that case, why would it be such a big deal? He knew Robbie was defensive about making mistakes, but lately he had started relaxing a little more about those kinds of things. There had to be something else going on, but Sportacus couldn't figure out what it could be.

He resolved to figure it out the next time he got Robbie undressed. He started grinning again at that, though he tried to suppress it. It couldn't be good to think about tricking the person you loved while simultaneously thinking impure thoughts. Besides, Robbie wasn't in the mood at all.

His eyes widened and he shivered as someone's _tongue_ moved across his neck.

Or maybe not.

He hummed a little. Maybe finding out could wait…

* * *

AN:

A little bit of a lighter tone for this chapter, though with still a hint of darkness. If you know anything about the sex trade, you know why Robbie's feet are scarred. Yes. I _did_ take it to that level. I was going to make you all guess. But whatever.

It gets mildly brighter from here on. Well... next chapter not so much. But after that, yes! More humor than fluff, really. But I like it.

Ah yes. More elf magic. I really do love his elfness. It's just damn fun. Umm. About him talking about blood in his mouth... a personal theory. You can use your imagination as to what he means by something bad happening! Open to interpretation and all.

The chapter title is referring to the song "I Can Move". I've been watching it and the original from Afram Latibaer on YouTube over and over. I love the similarities in the dances and in Sportacus' concern! I do wonder why exactly the sports elf was so focused on her shoes in Afram Latibaer though... I know there's gotta be a reason. Anyway, I chose it because Robbie's reaction to Sportacus questioning him is in some ways a warning.

Do... do I have a following of sorts now? Because I'm noticing that I'm getting alot more hits, more quickly... over 100 per day. It makes the glory-hog part of my brain squeal with glee. I _do_ enjoy relative popularity.

I looked up some pictures of Stefan Karl the other day. And holy crap that man is HOT. And friggen talented. He's my new favorite actor, right up there with Alan Rickman. Why do I always pick the semi-obscure ones? But oh man, those _curls_. I never liked curly hair. Ever. But on Stefan Karl, they're quite possibly the sexiest thing I've seen. Next to Magnus Scheving shirtless. I can't choose between those two images. Anyway, yes. Alan Rickman and Stefan Karl. Screw celebrities. I love me some _real_ actors.

I shall cut off my fangirlish raving before I sicken you all.

Please review! I love you guys.


	13. Night to Day

**Chapter 14: Night to Day**

"Robbie!" a happy voice squealed. He grunted as something small collided with his back and knocked him forward slightly.

"Nice to see you too, Pixie. Next time I'll be sure to wear cushions to absorb the impact."

She was hugging him and he tried to walk, hoping she would let go. There was a sale on popcorn and chips and such at the store. She didn't let go, and he ended up walking through town with a nearly-ten-year-old pink girl attached to his waist and dragging along behind him.

"Sportacus would give me a piggy back ride," she quipped. Robbie snorted.

"Good thing I'm not him then. You'd throw out my back." She squeaked in indignation.

"I would not!"

"You would. Besides, you're getting too old for piggy back rides anyway."

Stephanie pouted, but started walking under her own power and let go of him. He tried not to tense up when she grabbed his hand.

"Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe take me shopping?"

He stopped and looked at her.

"Why in the world would I want to do that?"

She bit her lip and stared at her feet.

"I need a hair cut," she answered quietly. "And I was thinking… about some new clothes." He stared at her for nearly half a minute. He knew he shouldn't. It was bad enough she needed that "elf charm" around her neck at all times. He shouldn't be encouraging it. If she wanted a new style, that was one thing. Children often went through phases like that. But he knew well enough what was triggering this sudden change, and her coming to him instead of Sportacus for it. He sighed.

"Fine."

She looked up at him with such a thankful smile on her face, he almost forgot to feel guilty.

* * *

It had almost been worth it to see Sportacus spit out a mouthful of water in shock. It would have been funnier if he had let the pink pixie get her ears pierced like she had begged for. 

Of course, when she automatically hid behind him and Sportacus was looking like it was dawning on him what had just happened, the humor drained from the situation rather quickly.

"What…" Sportacus gaped. "What did you _do_?" Robbie glanced to see if she would answer, but she was still hiding behind him. Ugh. Kids. Robbie shrugged.

"She wanted to 'go shopping'," he explained.

"Stephanie," Sportacus started, moving closer. "Your hair…"

She fingered it self-consciously. It felt a million times different, what was left of it. It had been cut short and styled so that it looked all ruffled up, as if she just gotten out of bed and it stuck that way. Having so much hair cut off made her head feel lighter. It was definitely different.

"I like it," she murmured, shifting. Sportacus paused, swallowing.

"Well… it… it does look cute I guess…"

She looked up again and smiled. He smiled thinly back.

"But… the clothes…"

She had ditched the pink all together. It was very close to being disturbing. Instead, she seemed to have taken a page from Trixie and decided to dress more boyish. Granted, Trixie had no fashion sense and Stephanie did, so Stephanie still looked adorable in the clothes rather than awkward. But now she might well pass for a feminine boy. Sportacus was still recovering from the shock.

"Why?" he finished. Stephanie glanced away and shrugged.

"I didn't like the dresses anymore," she said simply. Robbie pointed out the door.

"There's more stuff down there," he said. "It's hard enough climbing all the way up here. So you can go get it." Sportacus paled.

"More?"

"Yes, more. Unclog your pointy little ears." He frowned when he felt Stephanie tugging on his wrist-cuff.

"Robbie, be nice," she whispered. He huffed. She had told him that fifteen different times today. Sales clerks were utterly useless, that wasn't his fault. Sportacus blinked.

"You took her shopping," he said finally. Robbie glanced at him.

"Yeah. Looks that way."

"You could have told me!"

Robbie shrugged again.

"I could have let her get her ears pierced too, but I didn't." Sportacus gawked.

"What?! Why?"

"It makes me look grown up!" Stephanie spoke up, looking determined.

"But… why do you want to look grown up?" Sportacus asked, looking puzzled. He had yet to fully grow up himself, and couldn't fathom why she wanted to give the appearance of being older than she was. She slid her eyes to the other side of the room and shrugged.

Sportacus felt something freeze up inside him. It was the same evasive look Robbie used. He shot an icy hard look at Robbie, and was satisfied to see the man fidgeted, uncomfortable under it.

"Steph," he said softly. "Why do you want to look more grown up all of a sudden?"

He stepped back, startled, when she abruptly turned angry.

"Because I just WANT to, alright?!" she yelled, and stomped off to her room, slamming her door shut and effectively sealing out the world outside. Sportacus blinked, dazed at the sudden outburst.

"You shouldn't have pushed her," Robbie commented mildly. Sportacus rounded on him.

"Why did you take her out like that?" he demanded. Robbie shifted, thrown off by the sudden harshness.

"She asked for it," he defended.

"It's not like you to just give in to what she wants," Sportacus continued, getting worked up. "You did it for a reason. To get to me?"

"No!"

"Then why?"

"Why is it such a big deal?!"

"Because you're hiding something from me!"

"It doesn't have to do with you anyway!"

"It does if it involves you and Stephanie!"

"Is that _jealousy_?"

"It's _concern_!"

"Could have fooled me."

"_Robbie!_"

He jerked back slightly, startled. He suddenly remembered that he hated yelling, and wanted to curl in on himself. He quieted as Sportacus tried to calm himself down.

"If you won't tell me, I'll find out on my own," he finally said, looking for all the world like he wanted to cry but couldn't. Robbie forced himself to not look away. "But if I find out on my own, I'll put whatever puzzle you're trying to hide together."

Robbie shuddered, suddenly feeling cold.

"There's a reason," he muttered. "There's a reason I don't want to tell you. I'm not just being stubborn."

Sportacus smoothed his mustache compulsively.

"Yeah," he replied, sighing. He looked at Robbie and motioned him closer. Robbie did so, cautiously, until Sportacus reached out and hugged him. Robbie felt the warmth go straight through him, and he felt like crying again. This was too much.

"I'm still upset," Sportacus said after a moment. "I wish you would have at least told me she wanted to go and do that. I would've let her."

Robbie swallowed heavily and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the elf.

"Yeah, well…" he started. "She wanted it to be a surprise, I guess." He relaxed a little when Sportacus laughed.

"Yeah, a surprise. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. And I never feel that way."

A few more moments passed before Robbie summoned up the nerve to speak.

"I'll tell you."

Sportacus didn't look up, but he laid his head against Robbie's chest and listened to how fast his heart was beating.

"Now?"

"No… later."

"Robbie…"

"Tonight, then. Okay?"

"Okay. Meanwhile, you want to stay here for awhile longer?"

"And do what? Watch you exercise until I get tired and fall asleep?"

"You know, you could exercise some too… it might be fun. But no, I meant help me coax Stephanie out of her room with hot chocolate and a new puzzle."

"It better not be sugar free hot chocolate again. It tastes nasty."

"It tastes fine!"

"Only to brain-dead jock elves."

"It only tastes bad to hopelessly sugar addicted people like you."

"Then I shall be a happy addict for the rest of my days."

Stephanie peeked out of her room to see both of them laughing, and she felt mildly better.

* * *

Sportacus left the ladder to the airship down. It was past his bed time, but he was willing to sacrifice some sleep time to figure this out. Robbie complained about climbing down the ladder, even though he was getting better at it. 

Sportacus watched from under a tree in the park. Stephanie was securely asleep in bed, and Robbie was sitting next to him. If he didn't expect this to be a severely disturbing talk, he would have said to forget it and just enjoyed the time alone with Robbie.

But he didn't have that luxury.

"You're not going to like it," Robbie said after some minutes of silence. He shivered.

"Blanket," Sportacus said, and caught a thick blanket that dropped from the air ship. He sat close to Robbie and wrapped it around both of them. Shared body heat and all. Robbie wouldn't look at him.

"Don't rush it," Sportacus said. "You've got all night. Though I can't promise I won't fall asleep." Robbie only nodded miserably and sighed.

"It… has to do with when she got kidnapped."

Sportacus went silent and leaned against Robbie slightly, waiting for him to continue.

"Um…" Robbie kept going hesitantly. "You obviously don't know a lot, about that kind of stuff, so… I'll explain it, I guess."

"Okay," Sportacus offered. He heard and felt Robbie inhale deeply.

"They… picked her, because she looks cute. Really cute. And because she has that unique hair. She looked like the epitome of little girl-ness. It… that appeals to some people."

Sportacus shuddered, but he didn't say anything. Robbie was tense.

"So, she would think… 'If I don't look like a little girl, I'm safe. No one will want to take me away if I don't look like that.' That's all. She thinks… if she looks more grown up, she won't attract that kind of attention."

"Ah," Sportacus said, understanding. "I get it. That seems a bit reactionary though." He felt Robbie shrug slightly.

"Maybe," he replied. "But it feels better that way."

Sportacus felt his heart speed up. Robbie was letting it slip. He tried to keep his voice calm.

"Really? I don't understand that," he said softly. Robbie sighed.

"You wouldn't," he replied. "You've never felt it."

Sportacus didn't say anything. But he felt for Robbie's hand under the blanket and grabbed it gently. It was at that instant that Robbie realized just exactly what he had said.

Even in the dark, Sportacus could see the way his eyes dilated sharply in fear.

"_I didn't mean it like that!_" he yelped, and started trembling. Sportacus held his hand tighter, his other arm wrapping around the man's waist.

"It's alright," he said, trying to calm him down. "It's alright Robbie!"

Robbie went straight into a panic attack.

Sportacus cursed and tried to get him to stop hyperventilating, rubbing the man's back with one hand while the other held on tightly to Robbie's. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and the trembling was reduced to a small tremor.

"D-didn't…" he started.

"Don't talk," Sportacus shushed him, but Robbie wasn't hearing.

"T-that d-didn't mean a-anything…"

"It's alright. It doesn't matter."

"I'm n-not…"

"Shh. It's fine."

He was surprised when Robbie curled against him.

"I didn't…" Robbie hiccupped. "I'm not…"

Sportacus swallowed tears and held the man while he was pulling pieces of himself together.

It was out now, and he couldn't take it back. Robbie was a mess, and succumbing to exhaustion after the attack, falling asleep against Sportacus, while Sportacus was still trying to keep himself from falling apart too. Robbie had been right.

He didn't like it at all.

He swallowed hard and leaned back against the tree. He didn't want it to be true. He didn't want to think about what it meant. He closed his eyes.

He remembered teasing Robbie about the waistcoat he wore all the time, how he looked like a little kid trying to dress in a more "grown up" style. It was true. Everything about Robbie had come across as a little kid trying to act as adult as possible. Sportacus thought it was an endearing trait, and endeavored to bring out more of the child in Robbie.

But he didn't want to think that the child in Robbie was broken.

His chest heaved with a repressed sob, and the sleeping man's head slid to rest in his lap instead.

"Robbie," he choked out, looking down at him. He looked peaceful when he slept.

"I'm sorry Robbie." He felt hot tears rolling down his face and he couldn't stop. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry…" He cried harder than he could ever remember crying. He tried to imagine how many times Robbie cried, all alone.

After a lengthy time, he slowly ran out of tears, and his muscles were cramping. It was getting colder, and he felt incredibly sleepy. He didn't want to guess what time it was. He looked down at Robbie's sleeping form again, noticing the thin man shiver in the cold, and he smiled weakly. He picked him up over one shoulder, and started climbing the ladder back into the air ship. Entering the ship, the door slid closed behind him, and he carried Robbie over to the bed and set him in it carefully. He automatically took the vest off of him and then took off his shoes.

He froze as he peeled off the sock.

The bottom of the man's foot was littered with scars. Some deep, some just little pale lines, crisscrossing all over the surface of the skin. Sportacus shuddered and closed his eyes briefly, taking the other shoe off. He didn't doubt it had something to do with… _that_… but it didn't matter right now. He sighed, and set the vest and shoes to the side. He carefully crawled in next to Robbie, even though the bed was only built for one. Robbie was so thin that they could share, if they were against each other.

Sportacus pulled the duvet up over both of them and wrapped his arms around Robbie to ensure he didn't fall out of the bed. He fell into a troubled sleep soon after.

* * *

_He didn't know where he was. It was a house somewhere, he was certain of that much, but it looked unfamiliar. He looked down at himself, and was strangely only mildly surprised to see he didn't have his usual hero outfit on. He had on normal clothes, and he appeared to be pretty young. Eight years old maybe? It was hard to tell. He looked around._

_A whimper brought his attention to a figure huddled under a bed. He crouched down and peered into the dark space._

_"Hey," he said, his voice light and high as it had been when he was young. "It's alright. Come on out." And slowly, a nervous child crawled out from under the bed. Sportacus regarded him carefully. He was stick-thin, and looked extremely vulnerable. No muscle mass to speak of, and rather feminine, for a boy. High cheekbones and long legs, even at such a young age. Tousled, curly black hair. He looked smaller and more vulnerable dressed in only a huge t-shirt and some baggy shorts. Large grey eyes regarded him suspiciously, but not without hope._

_"Robbie?" he whispered. _

_"Did he get you too?" the young Robbie whispered back, his eyes wide. It threw Sportacus off._

_"What… what do you mean?"_

_The boy in front of him aged suddenly, and the hope drained out of the eyes. He was looking at a ten year old now, and only now did Sportacus notice that there was blood on the floor. It was coming from the soles of Robbie's feet._

_"Wait!" Sportacus said, and he noticed the minor change in his voice. "Let me help!" and he reached out to touch them. Robbie drew away, curling up on himself._

_"No," he said dully. "You don't understand. Look."_

_And suddenly the room faded, and there was a mirror. Robbie and him both stared into it, and time morphed again. A tall dark lanky teenager in beat-up jeans too big for him and a stained shirt, bloody lip. Long black hair fell into his eyes. _

_Sportacus recognized the hollow look in them._

_At the same time, he was aging as well. The adorable boy melted away, became a handsome young man, with dirty-gold hair and a frame that was filling in very well, with muscle in all the right places. _

_Time paused._

_"Hey," Robbie said suddenly, and Sportacus startled a little at the mixture of his young and old voice. "Do you think if we had met like this, you would have liked me, Sportacus?" He said this without looking up. "Do you think, if we met like this, you could have saved me?"_

_"I would've tried," he responded truthfully._

_He thought he saw a smile underneath the curtain of hair, before time reversed again and they were younger now, maybe five or six. But Robbie didn't brighten._

_"Do you think we could've been friends?" the child asked him. He nodded, a worn teddy bear in his arms. He held it out to the smaller child sitting on the floor._

_"For you," he said simply. Robbie looked up and took it carefully, hugging it to his chest._

_"You can't save me, you know," he replied sadly. Sportacus smiled sadly at him and nodded._

_"Yeah, I know," he responded. "But that won't stop me from trying." He knelt in front of the child-Robbie, who looked up at him, confused. Sportacus put one small hand on each side of Robbie's head, and kissed the boy's forehead._

_"I told you," he said, releasing Robbie and leaning back. "I already told you that I love you Robbie Rotten. Why else would I give you my teddy?" _

_Robbie looked down at the soft stuffed animal in his arms, surprised. He grinned suddenly, the kind of grin where it stretches your face and you close your eyes, and he giggled, hugging the bear tighter._

_"I love you too!" he said happily, and the giggling was contagious. Soon both of them were laughing happily._

_

* * *

_

AN:

Awwww. I ended it all fluffy-like.

It occured to me that perhaps people don't really know what the signifigance of scars on Robbie's feet are. So, I'll explain it in as... unoffensive terms as possible, given the subject. Essentially, when you want to punish someone whose value to you is in how good their body looks, you can't leave them all bruised and scarred in places that are easily accesible to the eye. So, the bottom of the feet are usually used. I recall reading it somewhere. Don't remember where. Did I totally just kill the happy buzz from the fluffy ending? Maybe I did. Bad me.

Lately, I've taken to doing stretches when I wake up. This show is influencing my highly impressionable brain. I have class at 9:10 in the morning. I wake up to The Killers in my CD alarm clock at 8, slide out of bed like a boneless invertebrae creature of some sort, and do stretches. Arm circles, touching toes (I'm nowhere close) leg stretches, back stretches, the whole bit. Then I go and brush teeth, wash face (I hear Twenty Times in my head) and then make my way to breakfast. Bowl of cereal and milk, come back to my room and get books, and off to class. Ah, the life of a college student.

Anyway, lately I've been watching that I Can Move thing on youtube a lot. And I'm just... continually impressed by how fluidly that man moves. It's like liquid flexibility. And I want it. So I'm trying to stretch everything out more often. Maybe I'll be able to, some day. I still need to eat more sports candy. But, being a poor college student, I subsist on cereal, soup, and bread. I do eat vegetables when I can though, and often smuggle apples out of the kitchen in my coat pockets... if I were male, I'd be able to perhaps cram a banana down my pants as well, but alas, no bananas. They get bruised too easily anyway.

So, this chapter! I really really like the dream sequence. Especially the end. It ends happily! I had intended it to be a nightmare. It had other ideas. Oh well! It turned out alright, I think. I had to go back and change some things after I tried to figure out what Robbie's hair really looked like. The curly godliness of Stefan Karl's, or a kind of sexy Snape-ish long straight deal? I opted for both. Don't ask me how it would work. I don't know. Robbie had curly locks when he was young, but now his hair is very straight. My hair was straight when I was little, but then it just turned into a wavy mess now. I think these things just happen, for some reason. I took liberties with the idea (AGAIN). So oh well. I loved the idea of a sulky teenage Robbie too much to let go.

I always kind of picture the two of them as teenagers, in a normal way. I know Sportacus probably never went to high school. But it's fun to imagine it. He would have been the friendly golden-boy jock. The heart-melter kind, you know? Not really friends alot with perhaps the less-athletic crowd, but still on friendly terms with them. Robbie, however, I can easily picture as a very angry bitter punkish figure. I don't know why, exactly. I just see him as very... scrappy. At any rate, it's fun to play with in my head.

I confess something right now. I'm horribly American. All information I get about other cultures is via Wikipedia, and my two foreign friends: Steph in Britain, and Revvie in Colombia. So, as such, I might switch between "vest" and "waistcoat". I'll continue to call that blanket on Sportacus' bed a duvet though, even if I had no idea what it was until I looked the sucker up on Wiki. It seems like it would be extremely comfy though. I want one. Anyway, just so everybody knows, I'm referring to most things in an American sense. West coast American, at that. It's called _soda_, not pop. Pop. Geh. I'll make more culture notes next chapter.

This is way too damn long!

Reviews equal love!


	14. Woke Up This Morning

**Chapter 15: Woke Up This Morning**

Sportacus opened his eyes, breathing deeply. He sat up and looked at Robbie, who was just starting to stir awake. Stephanie was pouring cereal and looked up when Sportacus had sat up.

"Good morning," she said. "Want breakfast?"

He nodded. Robbie was just starting to open his eyes, before he groaned at the brightness of the air ship and groped around for a pillow to shove over his head. He settled for pulling the duvet up higher and over his eyes. He moved to curl up, but there wasn't enough room and he started to fall off the edge.

"Ah!" Sportacus reached out and grabbed him, pulling him back onto the bed. "Be careful," he warned. Robbie was fully awake at this point.

"What am I doing in your bed again?…"

"Again?" Stephanie chirped from the other side of the room, grinning widely. Sportacus shot her a look and she pretended to be very busy pouring out cereal into bowls for the two of them.

"You fell asleep and I put you here," Sportacus explained to Robbie. The man nodded slightly, still piecing together his memory. Sportacus knew when he remembered, because Robbie tensed up immediately.

"Time for breakfast!" Sportacus said suddenly, bouncing out of the bed and diffusing the situation. Robbie narrowed his eyes and Sportacus was relieved to see that he was relaxed again.

"If it's granola, I don't want any," he grumbled, swinging his legs over the side and sitting up. He paused when he felt cool floor under his bare feet. He looked down and stared.

"I could make some toast," Stephanie offered. "We don't have any sugary cereal." Robbie looked up blankly for a moment.

"Oh," he said finally. "Toast." Stephanie looked at him curiously for a minute, before shrugging and popping two slices into the bread-slots that would toast them.

"How about eggs?" she said next. She stuck her tongue out at Sportacus, who wrinkled his nose at the prospect of them. He'd just have sports candy and granola, thank you. She looked back just in time to see Robbie nod in response and stand up.

Sportacus flinched at the creaking and snapping sounds Robbie's body made as he got up. He didn't pause doing his pushups though. Robbie looked at him.

"Aren't you supposed to do warm-ups first or something?" Robbie inquired.

"Those _are_ his warm-ups," Stephanie commented, cracking an egg and scrambling it. Robbie sneered.

"Disgusting."

"Not as gross as those popping sounds you make getting out of bed," Sportacus said calmly from the floor, going straight into sit ups. Robbie scoffed.

"That's not my fault."

"Yes it is," Sportacus said again. "If you _tried_ to be active and eat a little healthier your body would like you more." Robbie just rolled his eyes.

"Pixie?"

"Yes?" she looked up from cooking the eggs.

"Slather that toast in butter and sugar."

"That's not fair Robbie!" Sportacus protested, sitting up from the floor. Stephanie tapped her chin thoughtfully, sensing an argument.

"Honey." she said after a moment. They both looked at her blankly. "Honey and butter. It's still sweet, but it's not sugar."

For once, both Sportacus and Robbie looked disturbed at the same idea at the same time. She nearly started laughing, but she just stirred the eggs instead.

"Steph, we don't have any honey…" Sportacus protested. She looked up.

"The store should be open."

"He'd probably buy sugar-free honey," Robbie made a disgusted face.

"You could go and make sure," she replied evenly. Sportacus was giving her a look that said he knew what she was up to.

"In fact," she continued. "That sounds great. You guys could go grocery shopping while I fix breakfast."

Robbie opened his mouth to protest, but she was pushing both of them towards the door.

* * *

They stood outside of the store. 

"I don't know what you're teaching her," Robbie said dryly. "But she's getting to be an incorrigible brat."

"Says the man who bought her an entire new wardrobe and hair cut," Sportacus shot back, grabbing a cart. Robbie snorted.

"You owe me for that you know," he replied, quickly grabbing a bottle of soda as soon as they entered the store. Sportacus eyed it with a look akin to despair.

"Couldn't you at least _try_ juice?"

"I don't know how many times you're going to ask me that. The answer is still no."

"They make sweetened flavored water now…"

"It's still water."

"It doesn't even taste like water! Here," and Sportacus grabbed a bottle of it and shoved it into the cart. They glared at each other for a moment before Sportacus' eyes were drawn over to the produce section.

Robbie shuddered at the way the elf's eyes lit up like a kid in a toy store.

He was scolded by store clerks five different times for pulling off dangerous stunts with the cart, before Robbie finally got fed up and forcibly wrenched it from his control, and for the rest of the time refused to let Sportacus take it back. Sportacus finally whipped out a list and looked it over.

"We're out of milk," he commented, then posed heroically and started toward the right aisle… he stopped about five steps later.

"Oooh, pineapple!"

"For the love of god!" Robbie snapped, stomping over to him and grabbing him by the back of his shirt.

"But, but," Sportacus protested, snagging only a single pineapple before Robbie dragged him back to the cart.

"If you got any smaller, Sportaflop, I'd strap you into the child seat in this stupid cart," Robbie growled, annoyed. "Can you not concentrate for ten seconds? You're _worse_ than a kid."

"But Robbie!" he whined, looking longingly at the multitudes of sports candy. "I haven't had breakfast yet, and they… oh, they have oranges!"

"No!" Robbie snapped again, and dragged the reluctant sports elf away from the produce to get milk. He grabbed a carton of chocolate milk and shoved it into the cart.

"Hey!" Sportacus protested, finally noticing. "Not that!"

"Oh, right," Robbie said, rolling his eyes. "It has to be _healthy_. How forgetful of me." Sportacus frowned at him and quickly swapped the chocolate milk for some two percent and fat free. He would have just gotten fat free, but Stephanie flat out refused to drink it. She said it reminded her of opaque water.

The entire trip was an exercise in compromise. When Robbie shoved bags of candy in, Sportacus didn't say anything, though Robbie did not miss the extremely pained look on his face. And when Sportacus piled sports candy into it, Robbie didn't complain.

Well, not a lot anyway.

"I can't push it with all that junk!" he said. Sportacus looked surprised and paused.

"I could," he said simply. Robbie glared at him and resumed pushing the cart, straining but refusing to let him win. Sportacus sighed and rolled his eyes, moving to the front of the cart and pulling it behind him as they kept going.

There was a minor scuffle over the honey. Sportacus kept trying to find the "sugar-free" brand, and Robbie insisted there wasn't sugar in it to begin with, so they could just forget it and get to breakfast already. Sportacus ignored him and went on examining the labels of various brands. Robbie finally gave up and stalked off to the frozen section.

Sportacus tilted his head at the ingredients.

"Huh… maybe it doesn't have sugar…" he mused. He tried to think if he had ever had honey before. Maybe, when he was very young and had tea once… did that have honey in it? What exactly did bees use to make honey anyway?

He shrugged to himself and tossed a bottle that said "100 percent Natural Bee Honey" in. Stephanie wanted it. He pulled the cart, looking for Robbie.

"Robbiiieeee? Where are yooouuu?"

"Stop that!" an angry hiss interrupted him.

"Ah! There you are!" he grinned and strolled over to the frozen food section, where Robbie was glaring at him from around the corner for being so _loud_.

"Are you done yet?" Robbie complained. "I'm starving."

"Yep, all done," Sportacus confirmed. He eyed the package of ice cream in Robbie's arms doubtfully, but shrugged it off. He was going to let Robbie have whatever he wanted to today.

Not that he could've stopped Robbie from eating all that junk normally, of course.

There was another mini crisis at the checkout.

"Um," Sportacus looked at the price nervously. Robbie narrowed his eyes at him.

"How do you pay for this stuff anyway?" he interjected. "Do tricks at kid's parties?" Sportacus glanced at him, unamused.

"Oh? How do you buy all that cake?"

"Simple. I sell things. I _am_ a genius you know."

Sportacus rolled his eyes, and smiled apologetically at the impatient cashier for holding everything up.

"Ugh!" Robbie finally said, pulling a card from out of the pocket of his vest and slapping it on the counter. "There! Use that!"

"No!" Sportacus cried, horrified. "I'm supposed to buy it!"

"Shut up Sportakook. I already said you owed me. You just owe me _more_ now."

Sportacus looked at him doubtfully. Robbie poked him in the side, indicating that the groceries were bagged and _he_ certainly wasn't going to carry them. Sportacus shook his head and scooped all of them up.

* * *

"I had an interesting dream last night," Sportacus remarked as they walked back to the air ship's ladder. Robbie grunted, not really caring very much as he drank his bottle of soda. Sportacus continued, regardless. 

"It was actually about you."

Robbie glanced up at this, paying attention.

"Oh?" he said, taking the edge of the bottle away from his lips. "What kind of dream?"

"A nice one. Sort of." Sportacus replied vaguely. Robbie arched an eyebrow up.

"Hmm. What kind of nice?" He was getting butterflies in his stomach from the vague kind of smile the elf had.

"A nice nice kind," Sportacus said. He finally took pity on Robbie's insatiable curiosity. "You said you loved me. It was really sweet. Granted, we were something like five or six years old, but it was still sweet. You looked adorable as a little kid." There was a pause.

"You dreamt of us as _kids_?"

"Yeah," he replied easily. "Well, that was just the end part of it. We were different ages in other parts… it's kind of fuzzy."

"I'll bet."

"You looked really happy at the end though. I remember that. That's what made it such a nice dream."

Robbie fell silent after that, trying to not blush, and also trying to not feel dirty by comparison.

Sportacus has nice dreams that involve being happy. Robbie had nice dreams that involved distinctly clothes less sports elves. The comparison was mildly shaming.

"Really," he finally said.

"Yeah," Sportacus responded. They were almost back to the air ship. "Oh! I remember something else too. We were both teenagers at one point."

Robbie looked up again, questioningly. Sportacus smiled slightly at him.

"Your hair was really nice, I remember. It was long, and you had it just hanging in your eyes." He paused slightly, and Robbie found it amusing how the elf's forehead wrinkled when he thought too hard. "But it was weird," he continued. "The times when you were small in my dream, you had curly hair. I wonder why it changed?"

Robbie was staring at him.

"My hair straightened out as I got older."

"Oh. So my dream was true?"

"I guess. What did I look like?"

"As a teenager? You looked sad. Your lip was bleeding and you had jeans on that were too big, and all ripped up." Robbie thought for a moment.

"That sounds right."

"Really?" Sportacus turned to look at him. "So you really looked like that?" Robbie eyed him mistrustfully.

"Yeah," he replied slowly. Sportacus smiled slightly.

"I liked your hair long like that. Even if it was cuter when it was all curly."

There was another pause, and Robbie started fingering a lock of hair self-consciously.

"Yeah," he said finally. "But I liked it better when it started straightening out. My… anyway, he didn't think it was as cute, so he started letting up. I had to cut it short after awhile though."

Sportacus was concentrating very hard on keeping his face as neutral as possible.

"Really," he commented. "How'd you get the bloody lip?"

"Fights," Robbie responded flatly. "I've always been scrawny, but when I was at that age I got… angry, I guess. Got into a lot of fights."

Sportacus frowned, not really understanding that, but he let it go.

"I'd break his neck if I could," Sportacus said suddenly. Robbie blinked in confusion for a moment before he understood.

"If I let you." he replied evenly. "Are we still talking as teenagers? I would have fought you for it."

"I would have won though," Sportacus countered, secretly glad that at least Robbie was talking about it without having an attack. It was progress.

"I doubt it," Robbie shot back. "You're too honest to have won in a street fight with me. I was a slippery bastard."

"You mean you're not now?"

Sportacus grinned broadly as Robbie threatened to spill the rest of the soda over his head.

"Careful, or I'll turn all the soda in Lazy Town into fizzy water," he warned playfully. Robbie looked horrified and clutched the half-empty bottle to his chest.

"You _would_, you health freak."

Sportacus laughed and grabbed a ladder rung, climbing up expertly. Robbie watched with disgust before following, much more slowly.

* * *

AN: 

See? It brightened up again! Yay! I _do_ love contrast.

The honey started as a simple idea. I enjoy honey and butter on my toast. So I thought, "yay, I'll put that in!" and thus here it is. But a couple of nights ago... it transformed into something more. You'll see next chapter. _Oh_, you shall see.

One of these days, I will draw Sportacus' and Robbie's trip to the grocery store in comic form. Stick figures, of course. I can't draw properly. But I'm decent at facial expressions.Woo! Anyway, one day. Whenever I think of Sportacus in a grocery store, I think of him going _insane_ over the sheer amount of sports candy there. I think apples must be the main part of his diet (he eats them enough), but a "treat" for him would be to have all these exotic kinds of sports candy you see in the store. Pineapple, mango, cantalope, zucchini... all that stuff. And he _is_ like a little kid. But it makes him cuter.

Mmph. I've hit a nasty case of writer's block. So the chapter after this will be delayed. I _still_ don't have a solid idea on how to end this. Only vague ones. And... I'll get there. I promise. In the meantime, if it makes you guys feel better, I made a little progress with my lemon-fic. It's on AFF. Um... it's also total pointless smut. And my first attempt at graphic male sex. So! Haha... if any of you are so inclined, you can find it there. I'm currently the only person with LT fics on that site. XD Anyway, I'll probably have the next chapter for that one out relatively soon. So you guys can enjoy that while I figure out where to take this story next. I'm kind of jumping around stories at the moment. The one I'm writing at this moment is untitled, but involves a modified dream I had a few weeks ago. Deals with a malfuncioning invention called a Trust Gun. It does what you think it does.

OH! And Kami-chan drew an illustration for a scene from this story! It's on DeviantArt. Her name's Kamikalo there, so it shouldn't be too hard to find. Go and leave her lots of comments guys! (Not you, Lovethyconan. XD I already saw you there.) I'd be curious to know how many reviewers I'm getting from that, since I provided a link... and I've gotten a couple new readers (hey guys!).

As always, reviews are teh luffed on.


	15. Have You Never?

**Chapter 16: Have You Never?**

"I don't know, Stephanie…"

"Don't be such a baby, Sportakook." Robbie interrupted.

"Stop calling me that! And I am _not_ being a baby. I just don't like being unconscious, unlike _some people_."

"Are you referring to me?"

"Noooo. I'm referring to the _other_ cake-eating nap-taking self-proclaimed-genius of Lazy Town."

The sudden sarcasm from Sportacus, of all people, surprised Robbie into silence. Stephanie used this opportunity to wave the honey-covered toast in front of the elf's face.

"Come on! You'll never know unless you try!"

Sportacus looked at her doubtfully.

"I… I guess…" he relented, and carefully took the piece of bread. Stephanie smiled encouragingly at him and Robbie just watched neutrally as he carefully took a bite.

He very nearly spit it back out at the first hint of sweetness, out of habit. But he forced himself to continue, and as he chewed and got used to the sweet flavor, he found that it was actually pretty good… really good in fact… he took another bite, and Stephanie cheered.

"Odd," Robbie commented. "Sucrose is in almost everything… but he only reacts to things with refined sugar in them? Hmm." Sportacus took another bite, watching Robbie think to himself about the chemical properties of sports candy, cake, and honey. Sportacus giggled suddenly, finding it very funny. Robbie looked up, raising an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic sound.

"What's so funny?" Robbie inquired. Sportacus grinned in between another bite, and shrugged. Robbie gave him a doubtful look, but didn't push it. Sportacus chewed thoughtfully on another bite while he half-listened to what Stephanie was talking to Robbie about. Something about a school project? Hmm. Was the air ship _always_ so interesting? He grabbed another piece of toast and poured a copious amount of honey on it without thinking.

Robbie's attention suddenly snapped from Stephanie's pleading for him to help her with a science project, back to the elf. Robbie watched, highly disturbed, as Sportacus started eating the honey-soaked bread, apparently enjoying it highly. Stephanie squeaked, appalled.

"Sportacus? What are you doing?" she nearly yelped. Sportacus paused, looking vaguely confused.

"I dunno," he admitted. "I feel tingly…" He giggled again and took another bite, licking his fingers. "Honey… I like honey."

Robbie felt suddenly as if the world had tilted on its head.

The damned elf was _drunk_.

Or some form of intoxicated anyway, because next thing Robbie knew, Sportacus was singing something in a language neither of the sober people there could understand, and finding it absolutely _hilarious_.

"Pixie," he said without moving his eyes from the elf. "Go to your room."

"What?" she protested. "Why?"

"You want to find out what an intoxicated elf is like, be my guest. It won't be my fault when he starts deciding it's too hot in here and stripping."

She squeaked in horror as Sportacus apparently overheard and understood at least part of the conversation, and started fumbling with the clasp on his crystal case. She ran to her room and locked the door behind her. Luckily, Sportacus seemed to forget what he was doing, and grabbed the bottle of honey again, humming to himself and pouring it into one hand.

"Stop that!" Robbie snapped, snatching the bottle away from him. Sportacus didn't seem to mind, as he was busy licking the sticky mess out of his hand.

"Yummy," he commented. Robbie made a disgusted face at him.

"I can't believe you're drunk off of _honey_."

"Maaaayybe," Sportacus slurred, getting the sticky liquid off of his fingers now. Robbie was concentrating very hard on not noticing how long the man's tongue was.

"You are," he replied dryly. Sportacus giggled again.

"Maybe," he repeated. "I wouldn't know. Is there anymore bread?… I want some more…"

"No," Robbie said quickly. "You've definitely had enough."

"But Robbiiieeeee," Sportacus whined, looking pathetic. "Want iiiiiit."

"No," he repeated. Sportacus pouted.

"No sex." the elf finally replied, looking hopefully up at Robbie to see if the threat had any impact. He _wanted_ that honey back. It made his mouth feel slightly numb, but this wasn't that bad of a feeling really… Robbie closed his eyes.

"Not gonna work," he said. "As soon as you're sober again, you're going to succumb to my ravishing good looks anyway. So it doesn't matter."

"Robbie tastes a little like honey," Sportacus randomly commented. Robbie froze, and his eyes snapped open. The elf was taking off his boots.

"What in the world are you doing?"

Sportacus looked up.

"Getting naked. I wanted to go for a run in the forest. Wanna come?"

"There _is_ no forest here. And no, I wouldn't want to come. And I don't want to know why you feel you have to be naked to do so."

Sportacus grinned, swaying on his feet.

"I like you," he slurred, pointing in Robbie's general direction. "You're fun."

"Uh-huh," Robbie replied flatly. "How about you… go lay down for awhile. Yes. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Hmmmm," Sportacus considered, giving his hands a good tongue-cleaning and relishing the remaining taste of honey on them. "I think I want to…" he trailed off for a moment, forgetting. "Oh. Yeah. Wanna play." Robbie sighed.

"Play what," he groaned. Sportacus grinned again and bounced on his feet.

"Hide and seek."

"There's nowhere to hide."

"Ohhhh. True. You're smart."

"Uh-huh."

"Thennnn… I guess, play-" and here he started rambling in some broken language that Robbie wasn't even going to guess at.

"What the hell are you even _speaking_, you deranged elf?" he demanded. Sportacus paused and smiled up at him.

"You're not as smart as I thought," he replied cheekily. "Shoulda guessed by now. Elf!" He pointed to his ears.

"… You have your own language?"

"Mmmm," Sportacus hummed in agreement and abruptly sat down on the floor, picking up his boots and pretending they were enemy air ships shooting missiles and crashing into each other. He graciously provided them with the appropriate sound effects.

Robbie was sorely tempted to lock himself in the room with Stephanie and wait it out until Sportacus passed out eventually. But he wasn't quite trusting enough to know the elf wouldn't decide doing barrel rolls with the air ship wasn't great fun. So, leaving him unsupervised wasn't an option. But he certainly didn't want to deal with him right now. Besides, what if someone needed saving soon? He just knew the elf was going to bounce right off the edge of the ship and forget he couldn't fly, or something equally stupid. He thought quickly.

"Sportacus," he said, tapping the man on the head. Sportacus looked up.

"You said my name right…"

"Uh… yeah. Hey, listen," he interrupted, crouching down next to him and throwing an arm over his shoulders in a friendly gesture. "I was thinking-"

"You _like_ doing that."

"Yeah. I was thinking about your crystal. What's it made out of anyway?"

Sportacus giggled, tapping the case and pulling it out.

"Seeee? It's made out of special stuff. Can't tell you. Well, maaaaybe I could. It's comp… comri… com-pli-ca-ted though."

"Can I see?" Robbie inquired, holding out his hand. Sportacus gurgled nonsensically and laid it on Robbie's outstretched palm. Robbie quickly pocketed it.

"Heeeyyy!" Sportacus protested, trying to stand up. "That's mine. You can't have it."

"I'm just holding onto it for you," Robbie said quickly, standing up and backing up a little. "I'm not taking it."

"Yesh you are," Sportacus slurred, feeling sleepy. "You wanna make me leave…"

"I don't," Robbie defended. Sportacus looked confused at his legs, as if wondering why they weren't working properly.

"What is it made out of?" Robbie asked again, hoping to deflect the elf's wandering attention. Sportacus yawned.

"Oh…" he murmured. "Spirit stuff. You know. That kinda thing… spirit… magic… some rain water… nice things…" His body was slowly becoming parallel to the floor, and Robbie moved forward again to catch him before his head smacked into the tile. Sportacus was unconscious within an instant.

"That was easy," he commented to himself. He grunted, hefting the unconscious man up by his arms and dragging him over to the… well, where the bed was _supposed_ to be. He frowned at the wall panel.

"Bed," he said, feeling stupid talking to a wall. Nothing moved, and he cursed, dropping Sportacus onto the floor and stomping over to Stephanie's door.

"PIXIE!" he bellowed, pounding a fist on it. She cracked open the door and peeked out.

"If he's run off naked somewhere I'm not helping," she said quickly. Robbie shook his head.

"He's passed out. I can't get the stupid bed down."

"I can't get it down either," she said, frowning in thought. "Most of the voice commands are still programmed just for him. I can only really get to the food. I'm not sure how I got the bed down last time…"

Robbie cursed and she frowned at him as he stomped back over to Sportacus and glared down at him. She padded over as well.

"We could put him in my bed," she suggested. It was Robbie's turn to frown.

"I don't think we can lift him."

Stephanie sighed, disappearing into her room and dragging out her pillow and blankets. She made a sort of makeshift bed.

Unfortunately, they found that even that way the densely muscled elf was too heavy to pick up at all, so they ended up simply rolling him onto it.

Robbie panted, slumping down onto the floor to catch his breath. Stephanie rolled her eyes at him and grabbed an apple.

Nothing to do but wait for their elf to wake up.

"Wanna play cards?"

* * *

AN:

50 reviews! 50! I'm 4th so far for number of reviews on this site. You guys spoil me! (Yes. I did go through and count how many reviews other people have. I'm worse than Stingy.)

As I said last chapter... the _honey_. I had a plan for a drunken Sportacus for awhile, but I never got around to it. And then I got to thinking, "what exactly would elves drink anyway?" Because really, when we're talking about nature elves, they probably wouldn't have alcohol. So... what then? And it hit me as I was slathering my toast in honey. Oh yes. They _would_. So here we go. Drunken Sportacus, for your pleasure.

I'm working on other projects. I'm really going crazy with this fandom, and I think the reason why is because it's so free. I can literally do almost everything, because there's very little precedence. Anyway, the other 3 fics I'm working on are Bad Boy (the one on AFF), the Trust Gun one, and another... it had been buried by this one (it was the first, but I got writers block and started this one instead). But now, I suddenly felt like doing something **_extremely_** different. Don't underestimate that word. I like to think of it was something shattering. I shudder when I contemplate its newness. I thrive on that, I think. This one will heavily rely on elfness. Made up entirely, because I am entirely unfamiliar with Icelandic elves. I'm just making crap up. But it's vaguely amusing crap, so I feel I have room to stretch here.

Anyway, the chapter after this one is the last. I hear your gasps of horror! I sympathize! But I need to wrap this up. And I also have a lemony post-ending chapter for you. So don't feel too bad! It just needs to rest, and its bedtime has come.

I'll be posting my lovely lovely Kami-chan's fan fic as well. It... well, I'll provide warnings of course, but the entire thing is just for fun. And Kami-chan has forgotten her account here, so I got her permission to post what she's shared with me. It's self-insertion. And also yaoi-rific. I'll say four words about it, that should intrigue you.

BOTTLES OF ELF PHEREMONES.

You read that _exactly right_. I anticipate many laughs! I do love my little Kamihopper.

I almost wish i could have written more Sportacus drunk. But oh well. I might incorporate it into other fics! I have two other viable ones after all. Mmmm. Especially the Elf!Robbie one...

Oh? Did I say too much? I think I diiiiiid. What a bad author. Teasing. _Bad_.

REVIEWS! I love you guys. This author note is entirely too long.


	16. The Best Things In Life Are Free

**Chapter 17: The Best Things In Life Are Free**

Sportacus stretched, pulling his arms over his head as he looked around for Robbie.

It was a warm day, and Stephanie's birthday. She turned ten years old, and there was of course a party, but it was over now. She was currently busy keeping Ziggy from eating _all_ of the leftover cake, and Pixel was standing guard over her presents, smacking Stingy's sticky hands away from them. Sportacus had been eyeing the technological child genius all day. Contrary to what Robbie thought, Sportacus wasn't oblivious. He saw all too well how Pixel kept looking at his adopted daughter when she wasn't noticing. He felt some kind of possessive instinct rise up, but he was careful to keep it in check. Stephanie _was_ getting older, and really, Pixel wasn't a bad choice… but still. He couldn't help but think that him and Robbie would get along rather well, eventually.

'They're ganging up on me,' Sportacus thought in dismay. What was he supposed to do when there were _two_ geniuses to deal with? The things the both of them created on a regular basis, separately, were hard enough to deal with. Robbie dealt with mechanics, and Pixel kept mainly to electronics and programming… god forbid the two of them _ever_ joined forces. Sportacus shuddered slightly.

But, that wasn't something to deal with right now. Finding out where Robbie had sulked off to was. He had shown up for the party (Stephanie had dragged him to it), but after half an hour of post-party celebration, he had disappeared. Sportacus sighed and walked off towards the billboard.

* * *

Robbie stretched out in his chair and groaned in ecstasy. Quiet. He could still dully hear the screaming and laughing of children, but this… this was much better. He just couldn't take the _massive_ battering to his ear drums for any longer.

He grabbed a bowl of popcorn, curling around it and munching happily. At least the pixie had gotten halfway decent cake for the party. There had been a three-way fight between him, the short little one, and the yellow brat for the cake. He tilted his head in thought as he chewed the popcorn. Given their tendencies, he could see himself getting along with the youngest one there. They both harbored an appreciation for sugar that no one else in town seemed to. But the brat was loud, messy, and absolutely adored Sportacus. It wasn't going to happen.

He shrugged it off. The only two children he could stand were Pixie, and that other one… what was his name? Poodle? Something like that anyway. Pixie he tolerated because she could be quiet, and because… well, he couldn't really think of reasons. He grudgingly admitted that he liked her at this point, and wouldn't mind watching her grow up and such. The other one though, he was interesting. The presence of another inventor was intriguing, even if said other inventor was only ten years old… he thought. He didn't keep track of how old these brats were. Still, he could see himself getting along with him. Maybe if he didn't make his machines so childish and loud. They beeped horribly and had all sorts of unnecessary bright lights all over them.

He snorted and ate another handful of popcorn. What could you expect from a kid?

Sportacus peeked out from the pipe and spotted Robbie lounging in his chair, sideways, with his legs hanging over one of the chair's arms, and his head resting on the other.. He contemplated the man for a moment. It _would_ be nice to just go over there and drape himself across him, but… no, not the time. He shook his head and rolled out of the pipe.

"Robbie, why'd you leave?"

Robbie startled, a few kernels of popcorn scattering. He finally leveled a glare at the sports elf.

"… Tomorrow."

"Eh?" Sportacus looked at him, confused. "What-"

"Tomorrow, I am going to coat the entrance to my house in pure sugar. It seems to be the only way to keep you from barging in all the time."

Sportacus paled slightly, and shifted from one foot to the other in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to…" he tried to defend. Robbie snorted. "Really! I mean, I just… was wondering where you went."

"Home, obviously." Robbie replied evenly. "Anything else?"

"Why'd you go?"

"It was too noisy. My head _still_ hurts from listening to all that noise."

Sportacus frowned and moved closer.

"Your head hurts?"

"I just said that, didn't I? If you don't have anything else to interrogate me abo-"

He inhaled sharply, his eyes widening, when he felt fingers running through his hair and rubbing his scalp gently. A part of his mind told him moaning in pure pleasure would be appropriate right now, because _damn_ that felt _heavenly_. He only let his eyes close and his head fall back. He barely heard the voice.

"I'm sorry Robbie," it was saying. "I know you really didn't want to go. But, I was glad that you stayed for as long as you did. I think the kids like you a little better now! That's really nice. I don't have to worry about them trying to play tricks on you…"

Robbie nearly opened his eyes to ask what these suspicions were based on, but at that moment his body felt like it was melting, and all the pains were just leaking out of him.

"But, I am sorry Robbie," Sportacus continued. "If I knew you were going to get a headache from it I would have told them to be a little quieter."

Sportacus was enjoying the blissful look on Robbie's face at that moment. He was also thoroughly enjoying the man's hair. Robbie had taken to leaving it natural instead of gelling it, and it flowed very nicely, down to about his neck. Secretly, the elf loved getting his hands on it now. Especially when Robbie would fall back on old habits, and emerge from his house with his hair slicked back. It was times like those when Sportacus would use any excuse to touch the man's hair and undo all the careful styling. But today, it was in its natural state.

The glorious rubbing stopped, and Robbie finally opened his eyes, tilting his head back to look into apologetic blue eyes. He breathed deeply for a moment, before reaching back and grabbing the elf, pulling him down into an upside-down kiss.

When they finally broke apart, Robbie didn't look away. Sportacus returned the gaze, wondering if that meant he was forgiven, when Robbie finally spoke.

"Sportacus?"

"Yeah?" he answered, with slight hesitance.

"I love you."

He swore his heart physically stopped for a moment, before he grabbed onto Robbie and pulled him into another hard, slow kiss.

Robbie's hands slid up underneath the elf's hat and tangled in the wavy blonde locks, holding him there. If the three words got him such a delicious slice of heaven, he swore he'd say them more often. Not _too_ often… otherwise the elf would get used to it. But this… this was something more delicious than cake. He felt the groan he had been trying to suppress slip out when the elf's tongue lapped gently at his. Oh, yes, much better than _any_ cake. He'd give up cake if he got enough of _this_ sweetness.

It would be the healthiest addiction he'd ever had, and at that moment, he didn't care at all.

* * *

AN:

END!

I apologize for the shortness/abruptness of it all, but I really think this is a good point to end it. It also serves as a lead-in to my alternate ending chapter that is in fact much too lemony to put here. As before, you can email me for the link, though, it's still on the same story, same place. AFF and all... I think I need to write less lemons. None of you know it, but lately I've been writing about... 3 seperate lemons I think. Gah.

Anyway, I want to thank everybody for reviewing. Over 2000 hits! You guys seriously kept me going, and made my day... multiple times. You guys rock!

I might do sequels in the future (they will likely be full of angst. More than this one was.) but I can't promise. I've been telling the Goku/Vegeta fans I'll write a sequel for them for... 3 years now. Yeah. So, no promising anything.

The reason Pixel is in here is because I just really friggen like him. And I think him and Stephanie are rather adorable together. Hell, he's adorable on his own. But how come no one has thought of Pixel/Robbie yet? I've seen Stingy/Robbie, even Ziggy/Robbie once, but no love for Pixel! Why not? Maybe it's just too scary a thought. Two inventors working together might in fact wreak all havoc upon the town. Still, it confuses me.

Thanks again guys. I can't say how much I appreciated all the reviews.


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